Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 3 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Second Sock finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:41.283 11 +10 37 12.8
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:47.517 +6.23 3 +1 20 10.5
3 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:48.425 +7.14 2 -1 16 10.4
4 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:54.075 +12.79 14 +10 35 12.1
5 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:56.350 +15.07 10 +5 41 11.7
6 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:02.983 +21.70 5 -1 28 10.7
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 +2 47 11.8
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -2 27 10.7
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -5 18 10.8
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +5 32 11.7
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +1 22 12.2
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 29 11.4
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -6 13 10.7
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 17 11.6
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -14 13 10.8
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 10.8
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
10.050
Squish is coming through. Recent finishes: 4-2-3-4-3.
14.692
Honey Mustard is airborne! Recent finishes: 8-3-2-7-10.
20.050
Slapper is on the move. Recent finishes: 13-1-2-1-1.
24.983
That has come off. Recent finishes: 8-3-2-7-10.
29.617
They felt that in the back row.
33.908
And it all goes wrong.
38.817
The Heel leaves something behind.
43.592
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 8-3-2-7-10.
50.050
Look at Chunk go.
54.967
Slapper is airborne!
1:00.050
They felt that in the back row.
1:04.475
Second Sock leaves something behind.
1:08.708
Pilot Light is losing bits.
1:15.475
They will not want to see that again.
1:19.883
Chunk is losing bits.
1:26.967
Squish leaves something behind.
1:31.775
Pilot Light is out.
1:36.017
There is nothing left of it.
1:41.683
Absolute carnage.
1:45.958
Extraordinary scenes.
1:51.292
It is coming apart now.
1:55.933
Custard is airborne!
1:57.825
Crooked Pete is out, and Thick Rick did it.
2:02.142
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
2:05.017
Squish is out.
2:09.825
Absolute carnage.
2:14.517
Up it goes.
2:18.867
Up it goes.
2:23.408
That is real damage.
2:27.383
Radiator will not be back.
2:32.025
That has come off.
2:33.525
And that is Slapper finished.
2:35.217
And that is Chunk finished.
2:40.850
A new leader — The Lieutenant.
2:45.075
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:49.325
Up it goes.
2:53.783
They will not want to see that again.
3:01.408
That is real damage.
3:07.117
And that is Custard finished.
3:12.517
The Heel is out.
3:14.517
This is the last of it.
3:21.583
It is coming apart now.
3:30.117
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:34.692
The Kidney is out.
3:38.283
The Lieutenant has it.
3:41.283
The Lieutenant takes it!
3:49.042
Honey Mustard is airborne!
3:53.158
And that is Honey Mustard finished.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 23.900 The Lieutenant 23.900
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 45.808 The Lieutenant 21.908
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:07.158 Chunk 19.416
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:30.842 The Lieutenant 21.125
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:55.158 Custard 23.642
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 2:18.167 Chunk 23.009
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:45.833 Second Sock 23.842
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:14.517 Honey Mustard 25.191
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 11 1/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 12 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 12 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 14 1/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 16 1/2 4
6 NOO The Noodles 18 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 24 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
59 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.9. Last five: 7-4-11-10-3.
126.02
7
Long John The Noodles
57 starts, 3 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 5-6-1-1-15.
6.80
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
59 starts, 6 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 1-5-5-2-2.
2.50
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
44 starts, 5 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 4-8-4-12-3.
10.83
22
Butter Bean The Beans
67 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 4-8-10-8-13.
50.98
6
The Kidney The Beans
52 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.3. Last five: 14-8-9-8-10.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
68 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 10-14-14-12-9.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
51 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 11-11-13-15-16.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
49 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.6. Last five: 8-4-4-5-13.
30.81
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
58 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 7-7-1-5-5.
17.48
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
54 starts, 11 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 3-7-3-2-8.
6.24
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
46 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.3. Last five: 5-10-11-14-10.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
51 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 11-4-10-15-11.
104.03
4
Wide Load The Pucks
59 starts, 14 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 12-2-3-1-11.
5.49
21
Custard The Soft Boys
52 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 9-4-5-5-12.
44.43
2
Squish The Soft Boys
56 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.3. Last five: 11-9-14-14-11.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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