Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 5 · Round 46

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Second Sock survives to win

Second Sock took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. Long John finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:18.333 3 +2 10 10.6
2 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:18.692 +0.36 1 -1 11 10.6
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:19.992 +1.66 4 +1 16 10.5
4 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:20.667 +2.33 16 +12 25 11.4
5 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:21.117 +2.78 2 -3 12 10.9
6 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:23.708 +5.38 9 +3 34 12.4
7 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:30.542 +12.21 12 +5 41 12.3
8 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:32.175 +13.84 5 -3 33 10.8
9 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:32.683 +14.35 11 +2 46 12.3
10 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:37.958 +19.63 10 0 41 11.1
11 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:39.342 +21.01 6 -5 22 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -4 23 10.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 0 16 11.3
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 0 13 11.0
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 13 11.1
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 10.9
3.808
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 1-1-3-7-2.
9.858
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 2-4-4-2-11.
18.850
That has come off.
23.742
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
28.467
Stubbs is airborne!
33.900
Puck Yeah takes the lead.
40.050
Damp Kevin is coming through. Recent finishes: 7-9-9-7-6.
45.475
Slapper is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-7-2-1-13.
50.050
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 3-10-3-15-7.
54.850
Oh, that is a big one.
1:00.050
Absolute carnage.
1:03.583
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:08.617
Slapper is airborne!
1:13.275
Slapper is out, and Gravy did it.
1:14.775
Butter Bean has put Radiator out.
1:19.683
That was always going to happen.
1:25.317
That is real damage.
1:29.792
That is Second Sock taking Puck Yeah with them.
1:34.142
Oh, that is a big one.
1:38.400
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:43.075
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:48.000
Long John goes to the front.
1:53.758
That has come off.
1:58.075
Oh, that is a big one.
2:10.950
The Kidney is losing bits.
2:15.558
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
2:20.050
It is unravelling for Custard.
2:26.250
Second Sock takes the lead.
2:32.583
Up it goes.
2:41.350
And it all goes wrong.
2:47.575
Gravy is losing bits.
2:52.300
Long John goes to the front.
2:56.192
Last lap.
3:04.258
Look at the state of it.
3:10.192
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:15.092
That was always going to happen.
3:15.333
Second Sock is coming to the flag.
3:16.833
That is too close to call.
3:18.333
Second Sock takes it!
3:23.617
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:32.550
That is real damage.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 20.167 Custard 20.167
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 44.267 Yolk 21.934
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:06.258 Honey Mustard 20.375
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:29.350 Honey Mustard 21.467
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 1:50.908 Long John 20.983
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:13.517 Damp Kevin 21.600
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 2:34.767 Second Sock 20.267
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 2:56.192 Honey Mustard 19.133
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 3:18.333 Crooked Pete 20.434
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 4 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 16 2/2 6
4 LMP Lump Patrol 16 2/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 2/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 20 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 27 0/2 2
8 PCK The Pucks 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
117 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 3-6-15-5-1.
8.47
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
109 starts, 2 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 10-12-1-11-5.
110.41
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
120 starts, 15 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 4-5-4-1-2.
2.34
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
121 starts, 16 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 1-10-4-4-3.
2.57
6
The Kidney The Beans
106 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 7-8-12-7-6.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
120 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.9. Last five: 13-8-7-12-4.
133.43
4
Radiator Basement Heat
131 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 14-13-15-15-9.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
110 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 8-6-10-6-9.
57.41
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
111 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 8-12-6-4-8.
68.65
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
113 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 10-4-11-9-14.
69.40
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
124 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 6-12-10-14-3.
110.01
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
124 starts, 30 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 5-7-8-1-1.
10.41
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
112 starts, 3 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 8-14-15-11-14.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
112 starts, 12 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 13-5-7-2-8.
100.51
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
114 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 15-16-16-9-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
108 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 6-13-3-6-9.
44.67

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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