Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 6 · Round 1

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Coaster finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:42.642 12 +11 41 11.7
2 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:43.433 +0.79 13 +11 30 12.2
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.300 +1.66 4 +1 21 10.4
4 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:44.633 +1.99 3 -1 20 10.3
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:49.742 +7.10 1 -4 21 10.3
6 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:57.442 +14.80 9 +3 39 12.1
7 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:58.925 +16.28 14 +7 45 11.5
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +2 38 11.6
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -7 14 10.7
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -5 19 10.3
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 22 11.1
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 -1 24 11.4
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -7 12 10.0
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 12 10.3
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 13 10.2
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.0
2.250
Squish goes to the front.
8.067
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 1-2-6-4-16.
17.200
There goes a piece of Squish. Recent finishes: 8-4-11-3-5.
21.908
That has come off. Recent finishes: 5-5-15-5-11.
28.667
Up it goes.
34.700
The Coaster is airborne! Recent finishes: 4-1-1-1-1.
39.683
Oh, that is a big one.
43.908
Lil Nugget is airborne!
48.892
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
53.342
You do not see that every day.
58.767
The Heel is losing bits. Recent finishes: 6-7-7-3-7.
1:03.167
Up it goes.
1:07.917
Squish leaves something behind.
1:09.417
Pilot Light has put Tender Greg out.
1:16.800
Chunk is airborne!
1:21.008
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:25.408
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
1:30.125
Radiator will not take much more.
1:34.392
Up it goes.
1:39.308
It is coming apart now.
1:40.808
That is Pilot Light taking Radiator with them.
1:42.508
That is Wide Load taking Pilot Light with them.
1:48.650
Chunk has nothing left on it.
1:52.233
Thick Rick has put Refried Ron out.
1:56.858
That is a long way off the ground.
2:01.092
Chunk is out.
2:06.400
Squish is in trouble.
2:11.008
There goes a piece of Old Gristle.
2:17.983
Oh, that is a big one.
2:22.525
It is coming apart now.
2:24.358
And that is Squish finished.
2:30.050
There is nothing left of it.
2:32.692
That is Old Gristle taking Crooked Pete with them.
2:41.308
There goes a piece of The Heel.
2:43.950
That is The Coaster taking The Kidney with them.
2:53.492
There goes a piece of The Coaster.
2:57.858
Up it goes.
3:03.350
Up it goes.
3:11.033
Look at the state of it.
3:15.667
That is a long way off the ground.
3:21.267
Absolute carnage.
3:22.767
Last lap.
3:24.267
And that is Lil Nugget finished.
3:34.575
They will not want to see that again.
3:39.642
Here comes Old Gristle.
3:42.642
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:57.642
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 16.533 Old Gristle 16.533
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 33.617 Chunk 14.192
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 49.642 The Coaster 16.025
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:08.925 Old Gristle 15.750
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:26.700 Chunk 17.775
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:44.708 The Coaster 15.408
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:05.092 The Heel 18.217
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:27.583 The Heel 18.008
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:44.117 Old Gristle 15.909
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 3:03.483 Old Gristle 16.200
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:22.358 The Heel 17.642
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:42.642 Wide Load 18.000
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 9 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 14 1/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 14 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 23 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
124 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 2-2-6-7-2.
7.18
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
111 starts, 2 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 5-15-10-12-1.
219.30
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
100 starts, 11 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 9-1-6-3-3.
10.16
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
129 starts, 18 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 1-1-1-2-5.
1.85
6
The Kidney The Beans
110 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 8-8-9-14-7.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
111 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 14-14-9-13-15.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
136 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 11-15-10-14-16.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
104 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 13-14-8-15-14.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
117 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 7-3-9-7-1.
17.48
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
116 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 10-12-7-5-12.
159.40
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
97 starts, 3 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 2-8-9-10-12.
219.30
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
127 starts, 30 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 7-4-8-5-7.
7.50
3
The Coaster The Pucks
118 starts, 11 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 3-11-2-10-5.
38.06
4
Wide Load The Pucks
117 starts, 19 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 2-11-7-2-2.
7.99
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
123 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 16-16-10-16-12.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
112 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 10-7-9-8-14.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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