Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 6 · Round 36

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Crooked Pete survives to win

Crooked Pete took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Noodles. Second Sock finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:21.058 1 0 12 10.9
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:21.167 +0.11 3 +1 9 10.4
3 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:21.800 +0.74 4 +1 12 10.6
4 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:22.025 +0.97 11 +7 44 11.2
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:22.317 +1.26 2 -3 7 10.3
6 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:23.975 +2.92 14 +8 28 12.7
7 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:25.808 +4.75 12 +5 34 11.8
8 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:32.417 +11.36 5 -3 24 11.0
9 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:32.800 +11.74 8 -1 28 10.7
10 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:34.558 +13.50 9 -1 46 12.5
11 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:39.433 +18.38 10 -1 36 12.2
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 21 10.5
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +3 22 11.1
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 13 10.7
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 18 11.7
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 10.9
3.083
The Unit is airborne! Recent finishes: 5-8-7-4-6.
9.642
Absolute carnage.
15.867
There goes a piece of Custard.
23.242
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete. Recent finishes: 9-9-7-7-5.
28.200
That was always going to happen.
33.042
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 11-2-2-5-1.
39.875
That has come off. Recent finishes: 16-7-3-12-3.
44.900
Tender Greg takes the lead.
49.142
Old Gristle is losing bits.
56.575
There is nothing left of it.
1:03.600
A new leader — Long John. Career record: 0 wins from 201, average finish 6.9.
1:08.050
The Lieutenant takes the lead.
1:12.317
That is a long way off the ground.
1:17.242
Radiator leaves something behind.
1:22.125
The Kidney leaves something behind.
1:26.475
Tender Greg is out.
1:31.225
Extraordinary scenes.
1:35.950
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
1:41.533
Honey Mustard is airborne!
1:46.117
Puck Yeah is in trouble.
1:47.617
Puck Yeah is out, and The Kidney did it.
1:52.683
There is nothing left of it.
1:57.175
Up it goes.
2:03.833
Up it goes.
2:10.475
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:14.683
Old Gristle is airborne!
2:21.567
Oh, that is a big one.
2:25.308
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:30.050
Lil Nugget is going backwards.
2:37.717
And it all goes wrong.
2:45.442
Custard is out.
2:49.850
Second Sock takes the lead.
2:54.850
That is a long way off the ground.
2:59.300
Crooked Pete will not take much more.
3:07.100
The Unit leaves something behind.
3:10.542
Sweaty Gerald will not be back.
3:14.850
Crooked Pete takes the lead.
3:18.058
Crooked Pete is coming to the flag.
3:19.558
That is too close to call.
3:21.058
Crooked Pete takes it!
3:26.800
That has come off.
3:32.300
That has come off.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 20.525 Custard 20.525
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 44.542 Wide Load 21.491
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:07.975 Lil Nugget 19.792
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:25.825 Wide Load 17.442
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:47.442 Lil Nugget 19.883
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:11.142 Old Gristle 19.542
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:35.208 Crooked Pete 21.592
Smooth Descent Clay Crooked Pete 2:59.275 The Heel 21.734
Smooth Descent Clay Crooked Pete 3:21.058 Old Gristle 21.742
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 6 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 11 2/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 20 1/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 21 1/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 21 2/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 23 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
130 starts, 2 wins, average finish 9.0. Last five: 11-2-4-14-6.
158.05
7
Long John The Noodles
144 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 2-3-5-3-2.
4.76
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
150 starts, 24 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 1-3-4-4-1.
1.96
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
119 starts, 13 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 5-5-8-8-2.
14.83
6
The Kidney The Beans
133 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 13-14-16-4-10.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
139 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.9. Last five: 8-14-13-12-6.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
158 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 13-15-16-12-11.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
135 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 9-11-2-8-7.
62.50
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
136 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 9-6-12-13-9.
180.54
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
138 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 9-9-10-12-10.
169.33
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
145 starts, 34 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 6-2-1-5-6.
9.35
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
133 starts, 31 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 6-1-8-4-2.
8.62
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
134 starts, 4 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 11-9-9-14-12.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
138 starts, 23 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 12-2-4-1-1.
12.70
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
141 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 16-15-15-10-15.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
131 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 7-14-9-5-11.
72.48

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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