Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 9 · Round 20

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Lil Nugget finished second. 6 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:36.175 11 +10 38 12.3
2 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:38.275 +2.10 10 +8 35 12.1
3 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:40.042 +3.87 13 +10 38 12.2
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:45.983 +9.81 3 -1 18 10.9
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.608 +10.43 4 -1 22 10.7
6 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:49.200 +13.03 2 -4 19 10.6
7 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:50.117 +13.94 9 +2 41 11.7
8 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:57.692 +21.52 6 -2 22 10.6
9 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:59.292 +23.12 7 -2 28 10.6
10 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:01.417 +25.24 5 -5 29 10.8
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -10 12 10.5
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 23 11.7
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -5 13 10.8
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 10 11.7
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 16 12.4
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 18 11.3
2.317
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 2-2-5-13-2.
7.300
Radiator leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 13-6-6-4-12.
12.142
There goes a piece of Squish.
20.050
That was always going to happen.
26.350
There goes a piece of The Kidney. Recent finishes: 7-16-7-8-15.
31.817
Squish is losing bits.
37.392
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 13-6-6-4-12.
42.658
You do not see that every day.
48.808
That was always going to happen.
54.200
A new leader — Wide Load. Career record: 117 wins from 257, average finish 3.5.
59.758
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah.
1:04.158
Extraordinary scenes.
1:08.517
Oh, that is a big one.
1:13.058
That is a long way off the ground.
1:17.325
Puck Yeah is airborne!
1:24.358
There is nothing left of it.
1:28.867
That has come off.
1:30.367
And that is Puck Yeah finished.
1:31.867
That is Damp Kevin taking Squish with them.
1:36.192
That has come off.
1:40.392
Tender Greg will not be back.
1:44.892
That has come off.
1:49.158
That is a long way off the ground.
1:52.642
Chunk is out.
1:56.050
And that is Radiator finished.
2:00.625
Wide Load is airborne!
2:11.583
Lil Nugget is airborne!
2:16.908
Absolute carnage.
2:21.992
That was always going to happen.
2:28.833
They felt that in the back row.
2:34.300
Oh, that is a big one.
2:38.575
Old Gristle is airborne!
2:45.050
And that is Crooked Pete finished.
2:51.958
Oh, that is a big one.
2:57.275
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:04.392
That has come off.
3:10.000
One to go.
3:14.583
Wide Load leaves something behind.
3:19.150
Old Gristle takes the lead.
3:25.075
Lil Nugget will not take much more.
3:30.150
There goes a piece of Wide Load.
3:33.175
Here comes Old Gristle.
3:35.892
Up it goes.
3:37.392
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:43.008
Up it goes.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 21.450 Chunk 21.450
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 44.800 Wide Load 20.200
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:09.867 Stubbs 22.517
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 1:33.350 Lil Nugget 19.117
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 1:57.017 Stubbs 23.075
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 2:18.617 Lil Nugget 21.600
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 2:42.925 Wide Load 23.600
Smooth Descent Clay Lil Nugget 3:10.000 Old Gristle 23.050
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 9 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 18 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 18 2/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 22 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 30 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
198 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 8-16-9-14-7.
219.30
7
Long John The Noodles
212 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 7-5-15-4-2.
16.84
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
206 starts, 37 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 3-2-9-3-3.
2.95
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
218 starts, 35 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 1-3-2-5-3.
2.95
22
Butter Bean The Beans
207 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 7-7-11-4-8.
78.40
6
The Kidney The Beans
203 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 5-9-6-11-15.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
199 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 14-11-5-10-11.
159.59
4
Radiator Basement Heat
228 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 11-16-16-16-16.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
204 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 10-8-2-10-6.
34.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
202 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 8-7-7-12-15.
79.06
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
215 starts, 52 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 4-15-1-1-15.
6.44
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
177 starts, 5 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 5-15-8-10-13.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
217 starts, 42 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 8-1-2-7-2.
5.61
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
197 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 11-11-14-13-15.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
205 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.7. Last five: 13-13-13-12-13.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
207 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 13-10-16-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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