Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 9 · Round 27

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Lieutenant finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:36.275 14 +13 46 12.4
2 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:38.450 +2.18 12 +10 45 12.0
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.467 +9.19 4 +1 61 10.5
4 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:47.283 +11.01 3 -1 62 10.9
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:53.675 +17.40 2 -3 60 10.5
6 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:54.475 +18.20 6 0 72 10.9
7 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:57.275 +21.00 10 +3 61 11.3
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +3 25 11.4
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 0 35 10.6
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +3 20 11.9
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -3 20 10.4
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 10 11.5
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 13 10.2
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 12 9.7
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 14 10.9
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -11 15 9.7
1.842
Pilot Light leaves something behind.
6.367
The Lieutenant is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-1-15-4-2.
12.017
That has come off.
16.442
That has come off.
21.708
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 6-8-5-6-5.
25.983
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
30.633
It is coming apart now.
32.133
That is Long John taking Sweaty Gerald with them. Recent finishes: 6-8-5-6-5.
36.225
Pilot Light will not be back.
37.883
Squish is out, and Wide Load did it.
42.550
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 1-1-2-2-1.
47.267
Wrecked, and out of the race. Recent finishes: 7-9-4-4-2.
51.650
That has come off.
53.150
Crooked Pete is out, and Tube Sock did it.
57.975
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
1:02.992
The Lieutenant is losing bits.
1:07.233
That is real damage.
1:13.875
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:18.225
Crawlspace will not be back.
1:26.625
Up it goes.
1:31.833
Look at the state of it.
1:40.767
Chunk is losing bits.
1:48.517
That is a long way off the ground.
1:55.183
Up it goes.
2:01.608
And it all goes wrong.
2:06.100
Oh, that is a big one.
2:11.025
Chunk has nothing left on it.
2:14.083
Lil Nugget is out.
2:18.092
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:28.550
There goes a piece of Stubbs.
2:33.600
A new leader — Wide Load.
2:38.242
They will not want to see that again.
2:43.667
Second Sock leaves something behind.
2:49.850
That has come off.
2:56.867
Absolute carnage.
3:02.325
That is a long way off the ground.
3:06.950
Up it goes.
3:12.542
Wide Load leaves something behind.
3:14.042
This is the last of it.
3:18.550
They felt that in the back row.
3:28.242
Wide Load is airborne!
3:32.958
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:33.275
Here comes Wide Load.
3:36.275
Wide Load wins the derby.
3:45.242
Second Sock leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 19.633 Slapper 19.633
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 40.925 Slapper 21.292
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:04.267 Chunk 21.450
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:27.925 Wide Load 22.375
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 1:50.525 Chunk 22.600
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 2:11.075 Chunk 20.550
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:51.058 The Lieutenant 24.800
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:13.142 Wide Load 22.084
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:36.275 The Lieutenant 22.242
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 10 1/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 11 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 16 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 18 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 22 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 25 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
200 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 8-9-8-16-9.
219.30
7
Long John The Noodles
216 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 10-2-4-4-7.
15.16
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
210 starts, 28 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 4-6-4-4-2.
3.72
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
223 starts, 35 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 8-3-2-6-6.
4.59
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
203 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 11-9-11-13-16.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
211 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 6-11-13-4-7.
55.82
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
191 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-14-15-10-9.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
202 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 11-10-9-14-11.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
206 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 15-10-9-14-8.
210.07
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
208 starts, 14 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 6-1-5-12-10.
25.14
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
177 starts, 5 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 5-15-8-10-13.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
212 starts, 46 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 5-2-3-5-3.
4.03
8
Slapper The Pucks
201 starts, 22 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 1-8-8-10-15.
110.85
4
Wide Load The Pucks
218 starts, 43 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 1-8-1-2-7.
3.90
2
Squish The Soft Boys
209 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.7. Last five: 6-13-15-7-13.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
211 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 15-16-10-16-13.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

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