Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 11 · Round 6

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Second Sock finished second. 4 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:14.450 11 +10 30 12.0
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:17.458 +3.01 4 +2 11 10.5
3 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:19.467 +5.02 3 0 12 10.3
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:19.917 +5.47 2 -2 11 10.7
5 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:22.817 +8.37 16 +11 24 11.5
6 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:28.517 +14.07 14 +8 35 12.1
7 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:33.008 +18.56 8 +1 20 10.1
8 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:34.775 +20.33 7 -1 17 10.5
9 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:35.608 +21.16 6 -3 24 10.8
10 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:35.833 +21.38 5 -5 21 10.9
11 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:37.108 +22.66 12 +1 40 11.6
12 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:38.692 +24.24 9 -3 41 11.3
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 13 10.4
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -4 38 12.3
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 19 12.3
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.1
3.600
Custard takes the lead. Career record: 7 wins from 327, average finish 5.4.
8.142
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-6.
12.608
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
16.858
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 3-6-5-4-2.
22.275
Crawlspace is losing bits.
28.858
Thick Rick is losing bits. Recent finishes: 3-3-4-6-2.
34.400
That has come off. Recent finishes: 6-5-15-5-7.
39.500
Up it goes.
44.258
Up it goes.
50.050
Old Gristle is coming through.
55.033
Yolk will not be back.
1:00.050
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:04.417
There goes a piece of Puck Yeah.
1:10.067
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:14.483
Up it goes.
1:21.292
Crawlspace is losing bits.
1:22.792
Puck Yeah is out, and Long John did it.
1:28.117
There goes a piece of Custard.
1:35.250
Wide Load is airborne!
1:44.708
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:52.233
You do not see that every day.
1:57.375
Absolute carnage.
2:03.517
Oh, that is a big one.
2:12.633
That is a long way off the ground.
2:18.017
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
2:25.825
They will not want to see that again.
2:30.100
Up it goes.
2:36.267
Absolute carnage.
2:49.208
The Unit is losing bits.
2:52.417
This is the last of it.
2:58.017
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
3:02.692
Thick Rick is losing bits.
3:08.658
And it all goes wrong.
3:11.450
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:14.450
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:19.042
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:23.033
That is Custard taking Crooked Pete with them.
3:28.775
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:35.692
They felt that in the back row.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 20.467 Custard 20.467
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 42.800 Lil Nugget 20.741
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:05.433 Old Gristle 20.225
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:26.033 Old Gristle 20.041
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:49.075 The Lieutenant 21.783
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:10.575 Custard 20.383
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:29.808 Old Gristle 19.233
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:52.417 The Heel 21.400
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:14.450 The Heel 21.534
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 12 2/2 7
3 HEA Basement Heat 15 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 2/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 21 1/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 21 1/2 2
8 NUG The Nuggets 26 1/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
236 starts, 8 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 1-7-7-13-12.
66.52
7
Long John The Noodles
262 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.7. Last five: 3-6-7-9-7.
8.78
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
227 starts, 20 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 8-2-8-3-5.
8.33
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
263 starts, 38 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 5-3-5-4-6.
2.71
6
The Kidney The Beans
243 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 13-10-15-15-7.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
257 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 2-12-13-12-13.
91.99
1
The Unit Basement Heat
242 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 13-14-8-2-8.
67.05
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
249 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 5-10-11-7-9.
104.93
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
246 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 3-9-16-4-6.
28.28
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
242 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 9-12-11-3-2.
101.82
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
257 starts, 62 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 11-9-5-1-7.
12.76
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
254 starts, 54 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 7-2-2-2-4.
5.30
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
240 starts, 6 wins, average finish 12.2. Last five: 7-16-16-9-16.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
260 starts, 54 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 4-6-1-7-4.
6.26
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
240 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 12-16-16-16-14.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
250 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 9-4-12-4-13.
76.98

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.