Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 2 · Round 16

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Second Sock finished second. 7 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:16.425 12 +11 25 11.9
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:17.933 +1.51 3 +1 11 10.3
3 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:18.567 +2.14 4 +1 8 10.8
4 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:21.242 +4.82 2 -2 11 10.9
5 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:21.642 +5.22 14 +9 44 12.2
6 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:25.167 +8.74 10 +4 37 12.1
7 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:32.442 +16.02 6 -1 25 11.1
8 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:34.917 +18.49 9 +1 39 12.3
9 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:35.217 +18.79 5 -4 16 10.3
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -9 13 11.0
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 0 35 11.2
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +3 20 11.4
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -6 13 10.2
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -1 23 12.4
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 12 11.4
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 10.6
3.983
Up it goes.
8.367
Squish leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 16-7-4-4-4.
18.342
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
22.708
You do not see that every day.
28.067
Yolk is losing bits.
33.275
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 2-3-5-3-2.
40.050
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 8-6-1-1-6.
45.517
They felt that in the back row.
50.050
Puck Yeah is losing places.
56.600
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
1:02.467
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
1:07.242
Crooked Pete leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 4-8-5-7-12.
1:14.200
That was always going to happen.
1:19.117
Pilot Light has nothing left on it.
1:27.817
It is coming apart now.
1:33.042
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 4-6-5-5-16.
1:35.983
Butter Bean has put Pilot Light out.
1:37.483
Yolk will not be back.
1:46.117
And it all goes wrong.
1:50.750
Squish is airborne!
1:52.408
Puck Yeah will not be back.
1:56.683
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
2:01.475
Radiator is in trouble.
2:08.567
Radiator is out, and Butter Bean did it.
2:13.508
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
2:19.275
And it all goes wrong.
2:22.617
Squish is out, and Big Randy did it.
2:29.442
Up it goes.
2:32.142
Chunk is out.
2:36.733
Look at the state of it.
2:41.950
Slapper is airborne!
2:48.192
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
2:53.342
One to go.
2:59.592
Look at the state of it.
3:05.583
That is a long way off the ground.
3:08.333
Crooked Pete will not be back.
3:13.292
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
3:13.425
Here comes The Lieutenant.
3:16.425
It is The Lieutenant!
3:22.300
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
3:34.567
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 19.333 Yolk 19.333
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 41.558 The Lieutenant 21.041
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:02.492 Honey Mustard 20.416
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:25.133 Second Sock 20.108
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:48.258 Lil Nugget 20.908
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:08.192 The Lieutenant 19.934
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:29.925 Slapper 19.808
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:53.342 Slapper 19.792
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:16.425 The Heel 21.459
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 12 1/2 7
3 NOO The Noodles 14 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 14 2/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 16 2/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 19 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
32 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 11-4-7-5-8.
40.47
1
Big Randy The Noodles
31 starts, 0 wins, average finish 6.7. Last five: 4-9-5-15-7.
13.99
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
22 starts, 2 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 2-2-7-8-2.
1.66
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
20 starts, 4 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-10-6-5-1.
4.40
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
30 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.5. Last five: 8-9-10-16-14.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
29 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 12-5-2-11-16.
40.33
4
Radiator Basement Heat
30 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 15-13-12-12-15.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
25 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 13-14-13-15-14.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
21 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.3. Last five: 3-4-12-7-1.
13.28
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
31 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.3. Last five: 13-3-8-9-12.
82.14
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
23 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.2. Last five: 11-11-8-7-8.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
23 starts, 4 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 11-8-3-16-12.
13.32
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
28 starts, 2 wins, average finish 12.0. Last five: 7-12-14-9-14.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
28 starts, 2 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 14-16-1-8-14.
70.57
2
Squish The Soft Boys
21 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.3. Last five: 9-10-9-15-10.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
30 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.0. Last five: 15-16-16-15-10.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.