Derby · Season 2 · Round 23
The Wall — Team Pack Race
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win
Old Gristle took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Crooked Pete finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Noodles took the team honours.
| # | Competitor | Team | Time | Gap | Grid | +/- | Contacts | Top speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Old Gristle | Lump Patrol | 3:02.308 | — | 11 | +10 | 35 | 13.1 |
| 2 | Crooked Pete | The Noodles | 3:18.350 | +16.04 | 1 | -1 | 9 | 11.3 |
| 3 | Damp Kevin | The Wet Socks | 3:18.467 | +16.16 | 3 | 0 | 16 | 11.6 |
| 4 | Floppy Joe | The Noodles | 3:20.267 | +17.96 | 2 | -2 | 11 | 10.8 |
| 5 | Second Sock | The Wet Socks | 3:20.308 | +18.00 | 4 | -1 | 11 | 10.9 |
| — | Slapper WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 13 | +7 | 36 | 13.8 |
| — | Crawlspace WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 7 | 0 | 25 | 11.5 |
| — | The Kidney WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 5 | -3 | 31 | 11.5 |
| — | Stubbs RUNNING | The Nuggets | — | — | 10 | +1 | 29 | 12.8 |
| — | Honey Mustard WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 9 | -1 | 23 | 12.4 |
| — | Squish WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 16 | +5 | 17 | 12.2 |
| — | Radiator WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 8 | -4 | 13 | 10.9 |
| — | Refried Ron WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 6 | -7 | 15 | 11.6 |
| — | Gravy WRECKED | Lump Patrol | — | — | 12 | -2 | 16 | 12.3 |
| — | Puck Yeah WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 14 | -1 | 13 | 11.5 |
| — | Tender Greg WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 15 | -1 | 10 | 11.9 |
2.200
Squish goes to the front.
6.783
Squish is losing bits. Recent finishes: 8-5-10-3-16.
11.175
You do not see that every day.
15.567
Oh, that is a big one.
19.958
That has come off. Recent finishes: 1-2-2-1-2.
24.800
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 2-2-1-5-4.
29.183
Stripped to the shell. Recent finishes: 8-16-5-3-7.
33.408
Refried Ron leaves something behind.
37.592
Slapper has put Tender Greg out.
43.850
The Kidney leaves something behind.
45.350
Puck Yeah will not be back. Recent finishes: 2-2-1-5-4.
48.342
Radiator has put Gravy out.
53.067
That has come off.
58.850
Honey Mustard is airborne!
1:04.442
There goes a piece of Squish.
1:08.333
Radiator has put Refried Ron out.
1:11.508
Radiator will not be back.
1:16.300
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:19.492
Honey Mustard has put Squish out.
1:23.825
Oh, that is a big one.
1:28.250
Slapper goes to the front.
1:29.750
And that is Honey Mustard finished.
1:34.308
Slapper is airborne!
1:39.833
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
1:44.067
Stripped to the shell.
1:49.292
The Kidney leaves something behind.
1:56.042
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
2:00.933
And that is Crawlspace finished.
2:05.892
The Kidney is out, and Floppy Joe did it.
2:12.433
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:25.000
Slapper is losing bits.
2:30.267
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:32.367
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:36.883
And it all goes wrong.
2:41.733
Old Gristle is airborne!
2:47.625
One to go.
2:54.475
Floppy Joe is in trouble.
2:59.308
Old Gristle has it.
3:01.725
There is nothing left of it.
3:03.225
Old Gristle wins the derby.
| Section | Surface | Leader at exit | Elapsed | Fastest through |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 15.025 | Old Gristle 15.025 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 29.450 | Slapper 13.433 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 45.458 | Slapper 14.500 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 59.675 | Old Gristle 13.833 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:15.208 | Crawlspace 14.691 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 1:32.092 | Slapper 13.659 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:46.658 | Old Gristle 14.450 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 2:02.550 | Slapper 14.925 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 2:18.242 | Slapper 15.692 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 2:31.725 | Slapper 13.483 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 2:47.625 | Old Gristle 13.667 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 3:02.308 | Old Gristle 14.683 |
| # | Team | Score | Finishers | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Noodles | 6 | 2/2 | 8 |
| 2 | The Wet Socks | 8 | 2/2 | 7 |
| 3 | Lump Patrol | 15 | 1/2 | 6 |
| 4 | Basement Heat | 19 | 0/2 | 5 |
| 5 | The Nuggets | 19 | 0/2 | 4 |
| 6 | The Pucks | 21 | 0/2 | 3 |
| 7 | The Beans | 21 | 0/2 | 2 |
| 8 | The Soft Boys | 27 | 0/2 | 1 |
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.
Race card
16 declared6
Tender Greg
The Soft Boys
32 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 16-14-16-7-16.
219.30
Course preview
4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.
On the record
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