Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 2 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 6 competitors failed to finish. The Pucks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:28.708 11 +10 36 12.3
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:36.292 +7.58 13 +11 39 12.3
3 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:38.308 +9.60 14 +11 33 12.0
4 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:44.533 +15.83 10 +6 30 12.3
5 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:46.358 +17.65 4 -1 19 10.8
6 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:48.375 +19.67 1 -5 20 10.4
7 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:48.842 +20.13 3 -4 19 10.6
8 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:50.933 +22.23 9 +1 43 11.9
9 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:58.817 +30.11 7 -2 25 10.6
10 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 4:03.700 +34.99 5 -5 22 10.9
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -9 13 10.6
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -4 13 10.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 16 11.2
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -2 22 12.5
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -9 13 10.7
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 11 11.3
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
10.000
Chunk goes to the front. Career record: 22 wins from 74, average finish 3.7.
17.150
Old Gristle takes the lead. Career record: 18 wins from 73, average finish 3.8.
22.217
That has come off. Recent finishes: 16-7-7-8-12.
26.867
Up it goes.
34.100
Chunk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 2-1-1-2-16.
38.533
Tender Greg is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-4-14-4-8.
42.958
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
49.133
Chunk is airborne!
53.983
There goes a piece of Sweaty Gerald.
59.150
Tender Greg is out.
1:03.592
They will not want to see that again.
1:08.292
Old Gristle is airborne!
1:16.067
Chunk leaves something behind.
1:20.908
Up it goes.
1:26.325
Refried Ron is losing bits.
1:32.742
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:37.825
There goes a piece of Radiator.
1:42.450
You do not see that every day.
1:47.250
That has come off.
1:48.875
That is The Coaster taking Chunk with them.
1:52.300
Squish will not be back.
1:58.992
Oh, that is a big one.
2:02.175
Radiator is out, and Sweaty Gerald did it.
2:04.125
And that is Refried Ron finished.
2:11.775
And it all goes wrong.
2:18.858
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
2:24.042
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:30.258
Up it goes.
2:38.250
That is a long way off the ground.
2:43.183
There goes a piece of Sweaty Gerald.
2:51.783
Extraordinary scenes.
2:57.625
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
3:04.858
Crawlspace is losing bits.
3:06.533
One to go.
3:11.992
That is real damage.
3:16.767
That is a long way off the ground.
3:21.808
Crooked Pete will not take much more.
3:25.708
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:27.208
The Coaster is airborne!
3:28.708
Old Gristle takes it!
3:33.558
Damp Kevin has put Crooked Pete out.
3:48.258
Stripped to the shell.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 21.583 Old Gristle 21.583
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 43.367 Wide Load 19.534
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:06.642 Wide Load 23.275
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:32.683 Lil Nugget 19.658
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:56.625 The Coaster 22.767
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:18.817 Old Gristle 21.650
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:44.658 Damp Kevin 23.875
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:06.533 Old Gristle 21.875
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 PCK The Pucks 5 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 12 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 12 2/2 6
4 LMP Lump Patrol 15 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 21 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 25 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
32 starts, 1 win, average finish 4.6. Last five: 3-5-6-5-3.
5.12
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
41 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 12-12-8-2-13.
161.25
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
41 starts, 3 wins, average finish 4.6. Last five: 5-5-4-4-2.
5.31
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
39 starts, 5 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 8-2-6-10-2.
5.57
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
39 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.2. Last five: 10-6-9-11-13.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
31 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.7. Last five: 10-13-14-15-13.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
34 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 8-9-10-12-11.
60.36
4
Radiator Basement Heat
40 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.3. Last five: 12-13-13-16-13.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
35 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 8-7-6-7-6.
30.71
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
41 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 7-2-10-10-7.
50.72
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
42 starts, 11 wins, average finish 4.6. Last five: 4-3-2-1-7.
3.25
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
33 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 3-12-9-11-9.
205.50
4
Wide Load The Pucks
32 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 5-1-1-1-8.
5.81
3
The Coaster The Pucks
33 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.2. Last five: 8-11-9-11-3.
95.21
2
Squish The Soft Boys
28 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.5. Last five: 7-11-12-14-12.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
36 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 15-16-16-15-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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