Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 4 · Round 13

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Tube Sock finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:11.675 14 +13 51 13.4
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:18.933 +7.26 4 +2 11 11.1
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:19.083 +7.41 3 0 16 10.8
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:19.517 +7.84 1 -3 16 11.3
5 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:21.142 +9.47 2 -3 22 10.9
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +7 38 12.8
Thick Rick WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 37 12.2
Old Gristle RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol 11 +3 29 12.6
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +3 28 13.5
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -1 28 12.9
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +4 28 12.3
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -7 19 11.6
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -5 13 10.9
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 11 11.3
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -9 13 11.3
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 10 11.3
2.108
That has come off.
6.550
That is a long way off the ground.
13.958
That has come off.
18.725
That is real damage.
23.100
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
24.600
That is Refried Ron taking Tender Greg with them.
29.558
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
33.892
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 10-4-6-8-7.
38.175
That has come off.
45.625
There goes a piece of Thick Rick.
50.050
Look at Chunk go.
51.550
Old Gristle has put Refried Ron out.
58.075
And that is Pilot Light finished.
1:03.592
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 9-2-13-2-3.
1:05.092
Radiator will not be back.
1:09.942
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
1:15.767
That has come off. Recent finishes: 1-10-1-1-13.
1:21.467
Stripped to the shell.
1:26.517
Old Gristle is airborne!
1:32.075
Custard has nothing left on it.
1:33.575
Sweaty Gerald will not be back.
1:37.933
There goes a piece of The Coaster. Recent finishes: 1-10-1-1-13.
1:39.892
Custard is out.
1:46.883
That is The Coaster taking Lil Nugget with them. Recent finishes: 3-2-4-2-16.
1:51.308
Thick Rick is losing bits.
1:56.267
They will not want to see that again.
2:01.642
That has come off.
2:04.783
Chunk is out.
2:10.050
You do not see that every day.
2:14.858
That is a long way off the ground.
2:20.050
Long John is coming through.
2:25.133
That was always going to happen.
2:26.633
Wide Load has put Thick Rick out.
2:33.375
The Coaster is losing bits.
2:41.092
Up it goes.
2:45.417
The Coaster will not take much more.
2:50.108
Last lap.
2:56.733
And that is The Coaster finished.
3:03.875
Wide Load is airborne!
3:08.675
Wide Load has it.
3:11.675
Wide Load takes it!
3:21.075
Big Randy leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Custard 14.617 Custard 14.617
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 15.825 Lil Nugget 0.408
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 30.233 Chunk 13.825
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 45.975 The Coaster 13.741
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 1:00.608 Lil Nugget 14.633
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 1:17.475 Old Gristle 13.266
Smooth Descent Boards Lil Nugget 1:33.592 Old Gristle 14.442
Smooth Descent Boards The Coaster 2:01.708 The Coaster 14.291
Smooth Descent Boards The Coaster 2:18.533 Tube Sock 16.759
Smooth Descent Boards The Coaster 2:33.950 The Coaster 15.417
Smooth Descent Boards The Coaster 2:50.108 Wide Load 15.150
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 3:11.675 Wide Load 12.408
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 7 1/2 7
3 NOO The Noodles 9 2/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 17 0/2 5
5 LMP Lump Patrol 17 0/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 27 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
71 starts, 4 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-6-6-7-5.
7.60
1
Big Randy The Noodles
75 starts, 3 wins, average finish 6.5. Last five: 6-5-10-11-3.
25.41
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
76 starts, 10 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 5-4-3-3-1.
3.35
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
76 starts, 10 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 1-4-3-3-1.
3.41
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
72 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 11-7-8-11-15.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
65 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 10-14-13-16-15.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
66 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 12-8-14-10-15.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
85 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 10-9-13-15-13.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
77 starts, 1 win, average finish 9.0. Last five: 7-14-11-11-11.
206.85
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
73 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 2-9-10-4-2.
24.82
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
86 starts, 22 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 9-7-9-1-1.
6.64
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
61 starts, 2 wins, average finish 10.3. Last five: 15-1-11-10-11.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
76 starts, 8 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 2-11-9-14-7.
112.44
4
Wide Load The Pucks
71 starts, 15 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 4-6-1-4-5.
6.68
21
Custard The Soft Boys
67 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 2-2-9-10-8.
54.60
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
80 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 16-10-16-12-14.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

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