Paper Mogul Sports
Sign in Join
Derby · Season 4 · Round 16

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
Loading the recording

Bringing up the cameras…

auto
Report

Carnage — Damp Kevin survives to win

Damp Kevin took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. Second Sock finished second. 4 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:16.575 — 3 +2 10 10.7
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:17.183 +0.61 4 +2 12 11.0
3 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:20.625 +4.05 1 -2 9 10.7
4 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:22.000 +5.43 2 -2 7 10.2
5 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:26.550 +9.98 16 +11 27 11.1
6 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:27.325 +10.75 14 +8 38 11.0
7 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:27.350 +10.78 11 +4 43 12.3
8 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:27.592 +11.02 12 +4 34 12.3
9 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:27.750 +11.18 10 +1 40 11.3
10 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:31.283 +14.71 6 -4 21 10.7
11 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:32.100 +15.53 9 -2 46 11.6
12 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:35.767 +19.19 7 -5 27 10.3
— Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans — — 5 -8 20 10.7
— Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks — — 13 -1 25 11.4
— Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat — — 8 -7 11 10.0
— Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 15 -1 11 11.5
3.808
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 6-1-9-2-13.
8.200
A new leader — Custard. Career record: 1 wins from 122, average finish 5.8.
19.725
Wide Load is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-2-15-1-1.
24.000
Slapper takes the lead. Career record: 59 wins from 124, average finish 3.3.
30.050
It is unravelling for Gravy.
35.100
There is nothing left of it.
41.633
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 7-3-3-3-4.
46.333
Look at the state of it.
51.158
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
56.667
Pilot Light is losing bits.
59.750
Tender Greg is out, and Custard did it.
1:06.000
They felt that in the back row.
1:11.667
Up it goes.
1:17.742
Oh, that is a big one.
1:20.192
That is Wide Load taking Pilot Light with them.
1:27.150
Up it goes.
1:32.758
Custard leaves something behind.
1:37.900
Slapper goes to the front.
1:42.858
Thick Rick leaves something behind.
1:48.842
That has come off.
1:53.900
Gravy is airborne!
1:58.358
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:07.042
Extraordinary scenes.
2:13.625
Stripped to the shell.
2:18.208
That is a long way off the ground.
2:23.092
That is a long way off the ground.
2:29.892
Gravy is airborne!
2:31.392
Slapper is out.
2:36.392
It is coming apart now.
2:42.033
Absolute carnage.
2:45.475
Sweaty Gerald is out.
2:53.250
There is nothing protecting Custard now.
2:54.750
One to go.
3:05.908
That is a long way off the ground.
3:12.917
That is a long way off the ground.
3:13.575
Damp Kevin is coming to the flag.
3:16.575
Damp Kevin wins the derby.
3:21.783
You do not see that every day.
3:26.833
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Pilot Light 21.750 Pilot Light 21.750
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 42.375 Slapper 20.225
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:04.708 Damp Kevin 20.750
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:25.892 Second Sock 21.117
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 1:48.867 Old Gristle 19.092
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:10.708 Damp Kevin 21.350
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:32.717 Big Randy 21.067
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:53.775 Wide Load 20.841
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 3:16.575 Big Randy 21.067
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 3 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 15 2/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 20 1/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 20 2/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 21 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 23 1/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 27 1/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
77 starts, 3 wins, average finish 6.4. Last five: 3-2-6-5-10.
14.32
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
75 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.9. Last five: 3-15-12-12-13.
150.70
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
81 starts, 10 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 4-3-1-4-6.
2.45
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
78 starts, 10 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 4-4-5-4-3.
2.62
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
73 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 12-11-7-8-11.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
87 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 12-6-9-16-5.
185.12
1
The Unit Basement Heat
69 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 15-10-13-6-3.
72.72
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
68 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-15-12-8-14.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
72 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 3-12-2-3-1.
38.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
75 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 9-3-2-9-10.
28.76
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
79 starts, 11 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 10-1-11-4-10.
132.89
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
86 starts, 22 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 9-7-9-1-1.
15.26
8
Slapper The Pucks
66 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 10-12-6-9-9.
191.53
4
Wide Load The Pucks
73 starts, 15 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 8-5-4-6-1.
11.03
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
83 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 16-16-16-16-10.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
68 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 6-2-2-9-10.
42.42

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.