Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 4 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Coaster survives to win

The Coaster took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Lil Nugget finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:25.450 13 +12 32 12.1
2 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:40.992 +15.54 10 +8 36 12.3
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:41.075 +15.63 4 +1 18 10.7
4 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.533 +21.08 3 -1 15 10.6
5 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:50.350 +24.90 15 +10 26 11.5
6 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:51.217 +25.77 9 +3 36 11.9
7 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:58.425 +32.98 5 -2 32 10.5
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +6 29 11.8
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -3 23 10.4
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +1 19 12.3
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +1 20 12.1
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 11 11.5
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 12 10.6
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -13 13 10.3
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 13 10.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 11 10.8
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
10.050
Look at Tender Greg go.
16.650
Tender Greg takes the lead.
21.800
Chunk takes the lead. Career record: 42 wins from 143, average finish 3.9.
26.242
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
34.167
Gravy is airborne!
38.700
Slapper leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 12-1-1-2-1.
45.933
Slapper is airborne! Recent finishes: 12-1-1-2-1.
50.292
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 8-4-4-5-14.
55.175
Gravy is airborne! Recent finishes: 3-4-3-2-2.
1:00.383
Tender Greg is losing bits.
1:04.783
They felt that in the back row.
1:09.258
There is nothing protecting Radiator now.
1:13.675
Slapper is airborne!
1:18.383
Extraordinary scenes.
1:19.883
Second Sock has put Pilot Light out.
1:25.233
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:29.558
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:34.408
That is a long way off the ground.
1:35.908
Radiator is out.
1:40.733
Up it goes.
1:45.000
Floppy Joe is in trouble.
1:50.042
Tender Greg will not take much more.
1:52.258
And that is Tender Greg finished.
1:57.283
That is Second Sock taking Floppy Joe with them.
1:58.783
Crooked Pete is out.
2:02.192
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:07.708
Up it goes.
2:19.158
Gravy is out.
2:25.425
There is nothing left of it.
2:32.608
Absolute carnage.
2:37.017
Up it goes.
2:49.058
You do not see that every day.
2:54.958
Oh, that is a big one.
2:59.375
Slapper will not take much more.
3:03.933
This is the last of it.
3:12.650
Custard is losing bits.
3:16.883
There goes a piece of The Coaster.
3:22.450
The Coaster is coming to the flag.
3:22.858
They felt that in the back row.
3:24.867
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:26.367
The Coaster wins the derby.
3:33.475
Sweaty Gerald is out.
3:38.725
That has come off.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 22.958 Chunk 22.958
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 43.233 Gravy 19.566
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:04.633 Chunk 20.391
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:26.958 The Coaster 21.858
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:52.583 The Coaster 21.717
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:14.883 The Coaster 20.466
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:39.758 Lil Nugget 23.383
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 3:03.933 Lil Nugget 23.125
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 8 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 9 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 16 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 17 1/2 4
6 LMP Lump Patrol 21 0/2 3
7 NOO The Noodles 27 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
87 starts, 1 win, average finish 9.1. Last five: 12-14-10-8-7.
219.30
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
83 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 9-13-15-4-3.
134.71
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
91 starts, 11 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 5-12-1-3-4.
2.06
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
93 starts, 12 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 2-5-8-4-3.
2.57
22
Butter Bean The Beans
99 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 5-8-8-8-6.
32.40
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
86 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.3. Last five: 11-15-13-15-13.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
100 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 15-14-14-16-12.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
78 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 12-10-16-14-15.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
87 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 16-5-6-5-8.
21.22
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
90 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 6-1-3-14-12.
21.89
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
92 starts, 11 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 16-10-10-5-7.
31.85
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
71 starts, 2 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 8-8-11-7-10.
179.04
3
The Coaster The Pucks
94 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 7-1-2-2-2.
20.40
8
Slapper The Pucks
79 starts, 7 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 6-9-13-10-11.
59.28
21
Custard The Soft Boys
84 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 12-11-7-5-7.
42.68
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
94 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 11-16-16-12-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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