Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 5 · Round 20

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Gravy survives to win

Gravy took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Thick Rick finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:33.283 12 +11 28 12.9
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:42.400 +9.12 9 +7 40 11.7
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:43.850 +10.57 4 +1 19 10.5
4 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:45.292 +12.01 11 +7 30 11.9
5 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:45.517 +12.23 2 -3 21 11.0
6 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:47.250 +13.97 10 +4 39 12.4
7 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:48.783 +15.50 3 -4 19 10.8
8 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:07.542 +34.26 5 -3 31 10.6
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -2 27 10.8
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +3 28 12.4
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 11 11.4
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -11 13 10.5
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -7 20 10.9
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +1 19 11.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 14 11.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 11 10.5
3.217
The Kidney is losing bits.
10.050
Look at Tender Greg go.
14.533
Absolute carnage.
20.050
Pilot Light is going backwards.
25.417
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 1-2-2-1-1.
29.683
Look at the state of it.
35.233
Squish leaves something behind.
40.050
Puck Yeah is on the move. Recent finishes: 14-2-1-8-2.
48.225
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 2-1-8-2-2.
52.867
That was always going to happen.
56.075
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:00.467
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 1-2-2-1-1.
1:04.850
That is a long way off the ground.
1:10.700
A new leader — Tender Greg. Career record: 0 wins from 138, average finish 5.9.
1:14.958
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:16.458
That is The Heel taking Puck Yeah with them.
1:22.550
That has come off.
1:27.675
That is a long way off the ground.
1:34.642
There goes a piece of The Coaster.
1:40.050
Look at Thick Rick go.
1:45.217
Up it goes.
1:51.883
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:53.383
Squish is out.
1:57.717
They felt that in the back row.
2:02.933
Crawlspace is losing bits.
2:07.367
Stripped to the shell.
2:11.658
Stripped to the shell.
2:17.792
There goes a piece of Second Sock.
2:22.333
Oh, that is a big one.
2:25.317
Tender Greg is out.
2:29.550
The Coaster goes to the front.
2:33.158
That is The Heel taking Crooked Pete with them.
2:40.050
The Lieutenant is coming through.
2:41.750
Crawlspace has put The Kidney out.
2:47.200
And that is The Coaster finished.
2:52.608
You do not see that every day.
2:57.633
Lil Nugget is airborne!
3:02.500
Gravy is airborne!
3:07.500
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:12.067
This is the last of it.
3:19.425
Extraordinary scenes.
3:21.675
And that is Crawlspace finished.
3:30.283
Here comes Gravy.
3:31.592
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:33.283
Gravy wins the derby.
3:42.383
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 21.733 Tender Greg 21.733
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 44.767 Tender Greg 23.034
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:08.167 The Coaster 19.400
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 1:33.933 Gravy 22.933
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:58.350 The Coaster 23.633
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 2:21.600 The Lieutenant 21.983
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:50.358 Lil Nugget 21.758
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 3:12.067 Gravy 21.709
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 8 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 10 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 21 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 25 0/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 25 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
97 starts, 1 win, average finish 9.2. Last five: 16-13-3-12-14.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
100 starts, 6 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 2-8-10-3-1.
11.82
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
87 starts, 10 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 5-14-9-1-8.
15.42
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
104 starts, 13 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 4-3-7-1-4.
2.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
106 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 10-11-13-9-7.
102.49
6
The Kidney The Beans
94 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.2. Last five: 2-12-8-12-13.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
99 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 4-10-13-6-11.
58.78
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
89 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 13-9-13-12-15.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
100 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 3-6-4-9-14.
16.23
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
100 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 10-5-12-5-2.
38.76
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
95 starts, 22 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 1-1-3-9-1.
2.59
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
109 starts, 14 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 6-10-4-14-3.
31.84
3
The Coaster The Pucks
104 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 11-6-8-14-6.
67.37
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
101 starts, 3 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 12-14-11-15-14.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
93 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 5-7-9-13-10.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
106 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.8. Last five: 16-16-15-10-15.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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