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Derby · Season 5 · Round 26

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Slapper survives to win

Slapper took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Heel finished second. 3 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:15.442 — 13 +12 35 12.1
2 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:15.725 +0.28 3 +1 12 10.4
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:16.758 +1.32 4 +1 14 10.6
4 Floppy Joe NOO The Noodles 3:19.200 +3.76 1 -3 11 10.5
5 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:19.800 +4.36 2 -3 9 10.4
6 Squish SFT The Soft Boys 3:24.125 +8.68 16 +10 25 11.2
7 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:27.142 +11.70 12 +5 37 12.3
8 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:27.475 +12.03 10 +2 44 11.2
9 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:29.433 +13.99 6 -3 24 10.7
10 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:32.433 +16.99 14 +4 35 11.6
11 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:34.050 +18.61 5 -6 26 10.7
12 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:37.700 +22.26 9 -3 45 11.3
13 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:38.025 +22.58 8 -5 27 11.0
— Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol — — 11 -3 38 12.3
— Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat — — 7 -8 12 11.3
— Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 15 -1 12 11.2
3.217
The Kidney is losing bits. Recent finishes: 6-2-4-13-4.
9.200
Lil Nugget is airborne!
14.217
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 11-4-13-3-3.
20.050
Look at Yolk go.
24.417
They felt that in the back row.
29.758
That has come off. Recent finishes: 12-3-3-16-5.
35.483
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 8-4-6-5-15.
39.700
A new leader — Second Sock. Career record: 1 wins from 154, average finish 7.3.
44.117
There goes a piece of Yolk.
48.842
That is a long way off the ground.
54.517
There goes a piece of Slapper.
58.858
Radiator is losing bits.
1:04.550
They will not want to see that again.
1:09.333
Yolk will not take much more.
1:14.792
Up it goes.
1:16.400
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:22.175
That is Gravy taking Radiator with them.
1:28.892
And it all goes wrong.
1:35.208
Look at the state of it.
1:40.050
Lil Nugget is going backwards.
1:48.200
Up it goes.
1:56.542
That is a long way off the ground.
2:04.975
Up it goes.
2:12.783
That has come off.
2:17.442
Wide Load leaves something behind.
2:23.567
That has come off.
2:30.150
There is nothing protecting Gravy now.
2:34.592
Absolute carnage.
2:40.658
Wide Load is losing bits.
2:44.008
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:49.300
The Heel takes the lead.
2:53.383
Last lap.
3:02.317
That is a long way off the ground.
3:08.333
It is coming apart now.
3:12.442
Slapper has it.
3:13.458
Extraordinary scenes.
3:14.958
Right on the line.
3:16.458
Slapper takes it!
3:22.183
And it all goes wrong.
3:31.533
There goes a piece of Wide Load.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 19.658 Gravy 19.658
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 43.292 Slapper 20.867
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:03.292 Slapper 20.000
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:25.567 Second Sock 20.500
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:47.425 The Heel 20.725
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 2:09.200 The Heel 20.908
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 2:32.050 Gravy 20.275
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 2:53.383 Thick Rick 19.008
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 3:15.442 Crooked Pete 21.517
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 9 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 11 2/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 20 2/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 20 2/2 4
6 LMP Lump Patrol 21 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 22 1/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 28 1/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
99 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 14-4-15-5-6.
84.36
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
99 starts, 1 win, average finish 9.1. Last five: 11-5-16-13-3.
133.05
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
88 starts, 10 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 2-5-14-9-1.
5.52
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
107 starts, 14 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 10-3-1-4-3.
1.95
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
104 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 3-12-9-15-11.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
96 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.2. Last five: 12-10-2-12-8.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
124 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 14-16-15-14-10.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
97 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 10-6-2-11-11.
30.80
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
101 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 10-10-5-12-5.
70.44
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
101 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 7-3-6-4-9.
21.34
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
112 starts, 14 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 5-9-12-6-10.
55.29
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
116 starts, 27 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 2-3-2-15-7.
6.12
8
Slapper The Pucks
97 starts, 8 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 7-14-8-3-3.
64.83
4
Wide Load The Pucks
102 starts, 18 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 7-3-13-2-8.
7.79
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
104 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-15-9-16-15.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
95 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 6-11-5-7-9.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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