Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 5 · Round 27

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 13 competitors failed to finish. The Pucks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:04.442 11 +10 31 12.0
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:37.342 +32.90 14 +12 39 12.4
3 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:43.083 +38.64 4 +1 54 11.0
Damp Kevin RUNNING WET The Wet Socks 3 -1 47 10.2
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +8 51 12.3
Thick Rick RUNNING NUG The Nuggets 10 +4 43 11.3
Butter Bean RUNNING BEA The Beans 5 -2 55 11.1
The Unit RUNNING HEA Basement Heat 7 -1 65 10.9
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 0 31 11.8
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -4 28 10.2
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -9 13 10.2
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 9 11.1
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 11 11.5
Chunk FELL LMP Lump Patrol 12 -2 6 22.2
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -14 13 9.7
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 9.6
1.742
Yolk is losing bits.
7.233
Chunk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 2-8-2-1-2.
11.500
Wide Load is losing bits. Recent finishes: 1-3-1-2-1.
17.042
Up it goes.
21.500
A new leader — Chunk.
26.042
And out of the circuit entirely.
27.750
That is Damp Kevin taking Pilot Light with them.
30.767
That is The Coaster taking Yolk with them.
33.275
Floppy Joe is out, and Thick Rick did it. Recent finishes: 8-15-7-7-8.
37.500
The Coaster goes to the front.
41.067
And that is Tender Greg finished. Recent finishes: 3-6-3-5-4.
45.983
The Coaster leaves something behind.
51.633
That is real damage.
54.325
Crooked Pete is out, and Damp Kevin did it. Recent finishes: 8-2-8-7-5.
1:02.492
Extraordinary scenes.
1:08.242
The Coaster leaves something behind.
1:12.717
They will not want to see that again.
1:18.758
Wide Load is airborne!
1:24.008
Up it goes.
1:32.717
Butter Bean leaves something behind.
1:37.117
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
1:41.475
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:44.983
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Damp Kevin did it.
1:49.858
That is a long way off the ground.
2:06.925
Up it goes.
2:11.283
There is nothing protecting Lil Nugget now.
2:18.650
That is a long way off the ground.
2:24.200
Oh, that is a big one.
2:25.700
That is The Coaster taking Lil Nugget with them.
2:31.025
Second Sock leaves something behind.
2:40.758
That is a long way off the ground.
2:42.350
Last lap.
2:50.625
You do not see that every day.
2:56.700
There goes a piece of Second Sock.
3:01.442
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:02.225
There is nothing protecting The Coaster now.
3:04.442
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:09.417
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:14.792
Wide Load is losing bits.
3:20.625
They will not want to see that again.
3:26.025
The Coaster is out.
3:35.333
Extraordinary scenes.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Chunk 21.850 Chunk 21.850
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 44.358 The Coaster 21.258
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 45.633 Old Gristle 0.966
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:11.125 Thick Rick 22.033
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:36.283 Wide Load 22.800
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:57.375 Lil Nugget 20.025
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:21.317 The Coaster 21.150
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:42.350 Old Gristle 21.033
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:04.442 Old Gristle 22.092
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 PCK The Pucks 7 1/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 7 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 15 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 15 0/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 17 0/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 2
8 NOO The Noodles 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
100 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 12-14-4-15-5.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
100 starts, 1 win, average finish 9.1. Last five: 10-11-5-16-13.
219.30
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
111 starts, 15 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 5-5-4-3-4.
3.33
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
108 starts, 14 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 9-10-3-1-4.
4.94
22
Butter Bean The Beans
112 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.9. Last five: 11-8-5-11-12.
68.88
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
104 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 3-12-9-15-11.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
97 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 10-6-2-11-11.
21.27
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
91 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-13-13-9-13.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
101 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 10-10-5-12-5.
71.81
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
102 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 4-7-3-6-4.
15.65
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
116 starts, 27 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 2-3-2-15-7.
3.72
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
84 starts, 3 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 3-7-15-16-16.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
110 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 2-12-8-13-11.
64.62
4
Wide Load The Pucks
102 starts, 18 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 7-3-13-2-8.
4.96
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
104 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-15-9-16-15.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
109 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 16-14-9-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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