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Derby · Season 5 · Round 47

The Crucible

Crossbones Field · The Crucible · 161 m · 16 competitors Crossing traffic Track furniture Uphill section Steep banking
CHAMPIONSHIP FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Second Sock survives to win

Second Sock took The Crucible for the The Wet Socks. Long John finished second. 13 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.417 — 4 +3 25 10.8
2 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:45.450 +1.03 2 0 25 10.5
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:45.575 +1.16 3 0 27 10.7
— Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 16 +12 30 11.2
— Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles — — 1 -4 22 11.0
— Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans — — 5 -1 17 10.4
— Thick Rick RUNNING NUG The Nuggets — — 10 +3 31 11.6
— The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans — — 6 -2 21 10.5
— Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets — — 9 0 26 11.9
— Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 15 +5 20 11.3
— Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat — — 8 -3 11 10.8
— Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol — — 12 0 18 10.8
— Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat — — 7 -6 11 10.1
— Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks — — 13 -1 14 10.9
— Slapper RUNNING PCK The Pucks — — 14 -1 11 11.6
— The Lieutenant RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol — — 11 -5 9 10.1
2.550
They felt that in the back row.
8.067
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 11-3-5-12-6.
12.750
There goes a piece of Gravy. Recent finishes: 1-16-2-14-1.
18.058
That is a long way off the ground.
22.292
Look at the state of it.
28.067
Squish is losing bits.
32.700
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 15-6-11-3-4.
36.975
Absolute carnage.
41.292
Look at the state of it.
46.183
That is a long way off the ground.
55.708
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 3-5-2-5-3.
59.942
Stripped to the shell.
1:04.283
Squish is losing bits.
1:09.750
Custard leaves something behind.
1:11.325
Honey Mustard has put Pilot Light out.
1:14.025
That is Gravy taking Puck Yeah with them. Recent finishes: 9-4-1-1-12.
1:18.083
Gravy will not be back.
1:24.375
They felt that in the back row.
1:25.875
That is Damp Kevin taking Radiator with them.
1:30.558
That is a long way off the ground.
1:32.058
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:36.650
Long John takes the lead.
1:42.417
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:53.342
Custard is losing bits.
1:57.558
Stripped to the shell.
2:02.600
Honey Mustard is out.
2:07.992
You do not see that every day.
2:13.992
That is a long way off the ground.
2:15.492
Thick Rick has put The Kidney out.
2:20.050
It is unravelling for Custard.
2:24.867
And it all goes wrong.
2:35.817
There goes a piece of Long John.
2:40.625
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Big Randy did it.
2:50.000
Thick Rick is going nowhere.
2:51.500
Big Randy will not be back.
3:10.142
That is a long way off the ground.
3:16.242
Last lap.
3:20.742
Custard has nothing left on it.
3:32.358
There goes a piece of Long John.
3:36.858
That is real damage.
3:39.417
And that is Custard finished.
3:41.417
Second Sock has it.
3:44.417
Second Sock wins the derby.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 24.675 Slapper 24.675
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 53.442 Custard 25.025
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:22.833 The Kidney 27.575
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 1:51.717 Damp Kevin 26.742
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:19.692 Second Sock 27.234
Smooth Descent Clay Damp Kevin 2:48.042 Second Sock 28.166
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 3:16.242 Custard 26.608
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 3:44.417 Damp Kevin 28.050
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 4 2/2 16
2 NOO The Noodles 7 1/2 14
3 SFT The Soft Boys 14 0/2 12
4 BEA The Beans 14 0/2 10
5 NUG The Nuggets 16 0/2 8
6 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 6
7 LMP Lump Patrol 28 0/2 4
8 PCK The Pucks 29 0/2 2
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
113 starts, 6 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 11-3-2-5-4.
16.42
7
Long John The Noodles
117 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 3-6-15-5-1.
8.43
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
121 starts, 16 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 1-10-4-4-3.
3.02
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
120 starts, 15 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 4-5-4-1-2.
2.97
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
116 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 6-13-9-14-16.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
106 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 7-8-12-7-6.
203.42
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
101 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-14-13-16-16.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
131 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 14-13-15-15-9.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
111 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 8-12-6-4-8.
49.01
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
116 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 3-9-7-1-4.
27.26
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
107 starts, 27 wins, average finish 4.7. Last five: 7-2-1-1-4.
5.21
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
124 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 6-12-10-14-3.
101.69
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
112 starts, 3 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 8-14-15-11-14.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
112 starts, 12 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 13-5-7-2-8.
100.91
2
Squish The Soft Boys
107 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 12-15-11-13-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
108 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 6-13-3-6-9.
62.51

Course preview

9 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↓11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↑11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°

Crossbones with a hill cut into the approach — the two nastiest ideas in the sport bolted together on purpose. Eight laps, a junction taken twice a lap, and a climb a damaged Chunkle simply does not get up. This is the championship, and it has never once been won by anything still wearing half its rind. They present the trophy at the top of the hill, which most of the field never reaches, and the engraver is kept on standby because the winner is rarely in a fit state to spell its own name.

On the record

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