Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 6 · Round 10

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Gravy finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:38.142 11 +10 36 12.5
2 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:38.292 +0.15 12 +10 37 11.9
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:40.058 +1.92 4 +1 18 11.0
4 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:41.942 +3.80 10 +6 35 12.1
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:43.842 +5.70 3 -2 18 10.9
6 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:45.367 +7.23 9 +3 37 11.5
7 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:47.167 +9.03 1 -6 16 10.6
8 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:59.508 +21.37 7 -1 29 10.7
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +5 32 12.5
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -5 29 10.6
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 29 11.6
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 30 12.3
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 14 10.6
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +1 10 11.5
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -9 13 11.2
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 10.4
3.650
A new leader — Custard. Career record: 3 wins from 180, average finish 5.7.
7.958
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 1-15-1-2-3.
12.833
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-2-13-4-15.
20.050
Slapper is on the move. Recent finishes: 2-3-9-1-2.
25.175
That has come off.
30.050
Gravy is coming through.
34.575
That has come off.
39.375
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
43.658
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 4-4-3-3-3.
47.917
That was always going to happen.
55.608
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:00.050
Thick Rick is on the move.
1:08.192
And it all goes wrong.
1:13.775
They felt that in the back row.
1:19.742
Refried Ron leaves something behind.
1:23.983
Slapper is airborne!
1:25.483
Pilot Light will not be back.
1:29.975
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
1:34.883
Tender Greg is out.
1:36.442
Refried Ron will not be back.
1:42.917
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:47.300
A new leader — Gravy.
1:55.042
The Coaster is losing bits.
2:01.733
Gravy is losing bits.
2:06.433
Old Gristle is airborne!
2:11.917
That has come off.
2:16.217
That is a long way off the ground.
2:20.483
Crooked Pete will not be back.
2:26.808
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:30.717
And that is Slapper finished.
2:35.250
A new leader — Gravy.
2:38.917
Damp Kevin has put Custard out.
2:43.250
That was always going to happen.
2:48.058
Absolute carnage.
2:55.300
The Coaster takes the lead.
3:00.050
Look at Old Gristle go.
3:09.542
That has come off.
3:13.175
Last lap.
3:21.400
They felt that in the back row.
3:26.550
There is nothing left of it.
3:30.142
Old Gristle has put The Coaster out.
3:34.550
Gravy goes to the front.
3:35.142
Here comes Old Gristle.
3:36.642
That is too close to call.
3:38.142
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:48.600
And that is The Kidney finished.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 22.133 Gravy 22.133
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 44.200 Stubbs 21.708
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:08.692 Thick Rick 20.125
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:32.792 The Coaster 21.408
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:55.925 Gravy 23.133
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 2:21.075 The Coaster 21.433
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:48.167 The Coaster 20.400
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 3:13.175 Old Gristle 21.400
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 3 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 8 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 10 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 20 1/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 21 0/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 24 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 25 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
125 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 5-2-2-6-7.
7.44
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
113 starts, 2 wins, average finish 9.0. Last five: 4-9-5-15-10.
219.30
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
112 starts, 15 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-3-8-1-4.
4.07
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
130 starts, 18 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 3-3-2-6-6.
2.78
6
The Kidney The Beans
112 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 3-10-8-8-9.
207.88
5
Refried Ron The Beans
114 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 10-13-5-14-14.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
114 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 5-10-9-13-9.
40.40
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
106 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 14-14-13-14-8.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
118 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 10-10-12-3-4.
35.41
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
119 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 7-6-7-3-9.
17.17
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
129 starts, 31 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 6-1-7-4-8.
4.73
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
132 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 12-9-5-4-11.
63.10
8
Slapper The Pucks
115 starts, 13 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 15-14-1-13-5.
131.15
3
The Coaster The Pucks
120 starts, 11 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 16-2-3-11-2.
62.69
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
124 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 16-16-16-10-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
116 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 5-4-4-3-13.
36.23

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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