Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Pucks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:36.800 11 +10 23 12.4
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:40.650 +3.85 14 +12 32 12.2
3 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:41.950 +5.15 9 +6 42 12.2
4 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:42.142 +5.34 13 +9 38 12.0
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.050 +9.25 4 -1 21 10.9
6 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:51.625 +14.83 10 +4 33 12.1
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 3 -4 17 10.9
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -2 24 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -2 24 11.0
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +2 27 12.2
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +4 19 11.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 19 11.4
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 12 10.5
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -12 13 10.4
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 13 10.9
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -11 14 10.6
2.317
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 4-4-2-5-1.
10.050
Squish is coming through.
14.750
There goes a piece of Refried Ron.
20.050
Look at Honey Mustard go.
25.133
Chunk is airborne!
30.650
That is a long way off the ground.
35.183
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
39.667
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete. Recent finishes: 11-5-11-6-9.
44.500
Custard takes the lead.
50.050
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-8.
55.050
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 8-3-4-6-7.
1:01.050
Second Sock leaves something behind.
1:05.250
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:10.050
Look at the state of it.
1:14.583
You do not see that every day.
1:18.942
Lil Nugget is airborne!
1:24.992
There goes a piece of Custard. Recent finishes: 6-4-7-4-5.
1:29.292
Floppy Joe leaves something behind.
1:34.350
Honey Mustard takes the lead.
1:40.050
Old Gristle is going backwards.
1:42.775
Refried Ron is out, and The Kidney did it.
1:47.100
That was always going to happen.
1:51.633
That has come off.
1:56.150
That is Squish taking Radiator with them.
1:58.675
Crooked Pete is out, and The Heel did it.
2:03.067
Extraordinary scenes.
2:09.058
You do not see that every day.
2:13.942
That is a long way off the ground.
2:18.192
It is coming apart now.
2:20.450
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:25.267
It is coming apart now.
2:31.742
Chunk is airborne!
2:37.550
That is The Heel taking Squish with them.
2:46.375
The Coaster is losing bits.
2:49.867
Custard will not be back.
2:55.783
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
3:00.642
The Coaster has put Chunk out.
3:06.150
Old Gristle takes the lead.
3:11.217
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:12.717
This is the last of it.
3:19.925
The Kidney has nothing left on it.
3:26.892
Up it goes.
3:32.358
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:33.800
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:36.108
The Kidney has put Crawlspace out.
3:37.608
The Heel will not be back.
3:39.108
Old Gristle takes it!
3:47.658
Lil Nugget is airborne!
3:49.158
The Kidney is out.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 21.167 Honey Mustard 21.167
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 46.775 Custard 23.142
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:09.333 Wide Load 20.341
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:30.875 The Coaster 19.775
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:54.183 Old Gristle 19.992
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:21.058 Chunk 22.133
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:47.458 Old Gristle 23.542
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:12.017 Old Gristle 22.367
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 PCK The Pucks 6 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 9 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 11 1/2 6
4 WET The Wet Socks 12 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 23 0/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 24 0/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 2
8 NOO The Noodles 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
160 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 9-13-2-3-8.
127.20
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
150 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 13-15-13-9-6.
219.30
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
141 starts, 15 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 4-4-7-4-12.
10.55
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
174 starts, 28 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 1-7-6-3-4.
2.15
5
Refried Ron The Beans
164 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.8. Last five: 12-15-14-14-14.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
161 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 5-11-10-10-13.
181.97
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
151 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 7-8-11-7-11.
62.17
4
Radiator Basement Heat
180 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 14-14-14-7-16.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
169 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 2-4-6-12-7.
29.24
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
160 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 6-9-3-12-8.
36.66
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
172 starts, 40 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 8-2-8-1-5.
3.62
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
139 starts, 4 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 5-15-15-1-9.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
159 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 1-3-4-12-13.
20.73
4
Wide Load The Pucks
170 starts, 30 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 15-7-4-1-6.
7.45
21
Custard The Soft Boys
153 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 8-6-6-11-10.
48.37
2
Squish The Soft Boys
160 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.8. Last five: 12-5-15-14-8.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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