Derby · Season 1 · Round 33
The Wall — Team Pack Race
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win
Old Gristle took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Crooked Pete finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Noodles took the team honours.
| # | Competitor | Team | Time | Gap | Grid | +/- | Contacts | Top speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Old Gristle | Lump Patrol | 3:04.833 | — | 11 | +10 | 39 | 13.3 |
| 2 | Crooked Pete | The Noodles | 3:14.925 | +10.09 | 1 | -1 | 12 | 11.4 |
| 3 | Butter Bean | The Beans | 3:16.567 | +11.73 | 6 | +3 | 42 | 11.6 |
| 4 | Second Sock | The Wet Socks | 3:19.475 | +14.64 | 4 | 0 | 17 | 11.1 |
| 5 | Tube Sock | The Wet Socks | 3:20.850 | +16.02 | 3 | -2 | 14 | 11.5 |
| — | Floppy Joe WRECKED | The Noodles | — | — | 2 | -4 | 12 | 11.2 |
| — | Lil Nugget WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 9 | +2 | 33 | 12.5 |
| — | Slapper WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 13 | +5 | 29 | 12.8 |
| — | Refried Ron WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 5 | -4 | 14 | 10.9 |
| — | Custard WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 16 | +6 | 27 | 12.2 |
| — | Chunk WRECKED | Lump Patrol | — | — | 12 | +1 | 22 | 12.4 |
| — | Thick Rick RUNNING | The Nuggets | — | — | 10 | -2 | 22 | 12.0 |
| — | Puck Yeah WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 14 | +1 | 14 | 12.7 |
| — | Pilot Light WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 8 | -6 | 12 | 11.0 |
| — | Radiator WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 7 | -8 | 13 | 11.3 |
| — | Squish WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 15 | -1 | 13 | 12.2 |
2.250
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 3-4-4-14-8.
7.150
That has come off. Recent finishes: 8-7-12-6-6.
11.808
Thick Rick leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 2-3-16-3-13.
16.850
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 5-2-4-5-3.
21.108
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-2-1.
26.325
That was always going to happen.
30.642
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
37.417
That is a long way off the ground.
41.767
Oh, that is a big one.
46.300
Radiator has nothing left on it.
52.750
Oh, that is a big one.
55.900
Squish is out, and Refried Ron did it.
1:01.342
There is nothing protecting Puck Yeah now.
1:02.842
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:08.425
That is a long way off the ground.
1:13.083
Pilot Light is in trouble.
1:15.025
Pilot Light will not be back.
1:16.525
Puck Yeah will not be back.
1:21.025
Chunk is airborne!
1:22.525
Chunk is out, and Butter Bean did it.
1:28.025
Up it goes.
1:32.592
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:39.050
A new leader — Slapper.
1:43.708
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:45.542
Custard will not be back.
1:50.300
You do not see that every day.
1:52.025
And that is Slapper finished.
1:53.525
Refried Ron is out.
1:58.592
Extraordinary scenes.
2:06.058
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
2:07.725
Lil Nugget is out.
2:13.358
Stripped to the shell.
2:25.475
Crooked Pete has nothing left on it.
2:37.092
That is a long way off the ground.
2:50.842
One to go.
2:56.075
Floppy Joe will not take much more.
2:57.575
Floppy Joe is out.
3:01.833
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:04.833
Old Gristle takes it!
| Section | Surface | Leader at exit | Elapsed | Fastest through |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Squish | 14.758 | Squish 14.758 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Lil Nugget | 29.342 | Puck Yeah 13.809 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Lil Nugget | 43.575 | Slapper 12.208 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 58.192 | Slapper 13.692 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Lil Nugget | 1:12.442 | Lil Nugget 12.459 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Lil Nugget | 1:27.475 | Slapper 14.000 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Slapper | 1:44.492 | Slapper 14.609 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Lil Nugget | 2:00.308 | Old Gristle 14.817 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 2:21.992 | Tube Sock 16.208 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 2:35.742 | Old Gristle 13.750 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 2:50.842 | Old Gristle 15.100 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 3:04.833 | Old Gristle 13.991 |
| # | Team | Score | Finishers | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Noodles | 8 | 1/2 | 8 |
| 2 | The Wet Socks | 9 | 2/2 | 7 |
| 3 | Lump Patrol | 12 | 1/2 | 6 |
| 4 | The Beans | 12 | 1/2 | 5 |
| 5 | The Nuggets | 19 | 0/2 | 4 |
| 6 | The Pucks | 21 | 0/2 | 3 |
| 7 | The Soft Boys | 26 | 0/2 | 2 |
| 8 | Basement Heat | 29 | 0/2 | 1 |
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.
Race card
16 declared9
Pilot Light
Basement Heat
13 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.6. Last five: 13-15-12-9-14.
219.30
Course preview
4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.
On the record
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