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Derby · Season 1 · Round 47

The Crucible

Crossbones Field · The Crucible · 161 m · 16 competitors Crossing traffic Track furniture Uphill section Steep banking
CHAMPIONSHIP FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Long John survives to win

Long John took The Crucible for the The Noodles. Second Sock finished second. 12 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:45.567 — 2 +1 27 10.6
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.300 +0.73 4 +2 31 10.5
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:48.692 +3.13 3 0 32 10.5
4 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:50.050 +4.48 7 +3 43 10.7
— Wide Load RUNNING PCK The Pucks — — 14 +9 39 11.0
— Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans — — 6 0 22 10.1
— Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 16 +9 12 10.2
— Thick Rick RUNNING NUG The Nuggets — — 9 +1 18 10.4
— Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 15 +6 13 10.9
— Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans — — 5 -5 12 10.0
— The Lieutenant RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol — — 11 0 15 10.4
— The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks — — 13 +1 19 10.9
— Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat — — 8 -5 10 10.5
— Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles — — 1 -13 12 10.0
— Stubbs RUNNING NUG The Nuggets — — 10 -5 12 10.2
— Gravy RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol — — 12 -4 9 10.3
1.675
And it all goes wrong. Recent finishes: 7-3-8-8-6.
7.267
Thick Rick is airborne!
13.033
Pilot Light leaves something behind.
18.833
They will not want to see that again.
25.875
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-2-2-2-2.
30.592
Wide Load is airborne!
40.050
Look at Refried Ron go.
44.367
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 8-8-1-7-15.
49.592
Thick Rick is losing bits.
55.158
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 4-5-14-4-4.
58.600
Damp Kevin has put Floppy Joe out. Recent finishes: 7-3-8-8-6.
1:01.550
That is The Lieutenant taking Pilot Light with them.
1:06.500
That has come off.
1:10.883
You do not see that every day.
1:12.383
Wide Load has put Refried Ron out.
1:13.883
The Coaster is out.
1:18.208
Oh, that is a big one.
1:24.108
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:27.975
Long John has put Yolk out.
1:34.192
Look at the state of it.
1:42.400
Thick Rick has stalled.
1:55.417
Second Sock leaves something behind.
2:00.367
Up it goes.
2:01.867
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
2:09.542
There goes a piece of Second Sock.
2:24.758
There is nothing left of it.
2:34.692
Extraordinary scenes.
2:40.925
There is nothing left of it.
2:51.750
They will not want to see that again.
2:56.400
Long John goes to the front.
3:02.950
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:18.458
This is the last of it.
3:23.058
Oh, that is a big one.
3:42.567
Here comes Long John.
3:45.567
Long John takes it!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 27.375 The Coaster 27.342
Smooth Descent Clay The Unit 55.117 Refried Ron 26.216
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 1:25.317 Long John 26.984
Smooth Descent Clay The Unit 1:52.217 The Unit 26.742
Smooth Descent Clay The Unit 2:22.000 Second Sock 27.850
Smooth Descent Clay The Unit 2:49.725 The Unit 27.725
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 3:18.458 Second Sock 27.575
Smooth Descent Clay Long John 3:45.567 Long John 27.109
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 16
2 NOO The Noodles 15 1/2 14
3 BEA The Beans 16 0/2 12
4 SFT The Soft Boys 16 0/2 10
5 HEA Basement Heat 17 1/2 8
6 PCK The Pucks 17 0/2 6
7 NUG The Nuggets 23 0/2 4
8 LMP Lump Patrol 27 0/2 2
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
12 starts, 0 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 5-6-6-7-9.
46.43
7
Long John The Noodles
22 starts, 0 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 4-3-6-2-5.
4.95
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
23 starts, 5 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 9-5-1-3-4.
4.63
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
18 starts, 2 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-1-1-2-4.
2.92
5
Refried Ron The Beans
20 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.8. Last five: 15-16-9-8-16.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
18 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.1. Last five: 14-9-16-9-13.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
13 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.2. Last five: 9-8-4-14-4.
47.67
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
19 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 16-15-12-14-12.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
22 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 3-7-9-14-12.
31.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
17 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 12-6-1-2-3.
28.62
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
16 starts, 4 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 3-10-1-8-2.
4.79
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
15 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 12-6-12-6-2.
95.59
3
The Coaster The Pucks
17 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 13-6-11-12-15.
75.12
4
Wide Load The Pucks
18 starts, 4 wins, average finish 6.6. Last five: 2-7-11-16-7.
29.43
2
Squish The Soft Boys
17 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.4. Last five: 10-16-10-15-12.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
22 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 10-11-14-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

9 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↓11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
4m ↑11°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
10m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
7m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
57m ↓15°

Crossbones with a hill cut into the approach — the two nastiest ideas in the sport bolted together on purpose. Eight laps, a junction taken twice a lap, and a climb a damaged Chunkle simply does not get up. This is the championship, and it has never once been won by anything still wearing half its rind. They present the trophy at the top of the hill, which most of the field never reaches, and the engraver is kept on standby because the winner is rarely in a fit state to spell its own name.

On the record

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