Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 1 · Round 5

The Kidney — Team Pack Race

Kidney Flats · The Kidney · 123 m · 16 competitors Heavy contact
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Kidney — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Thick Rick finished second. 3 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:28.025 12 +11 21 11.9
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:30.667 +2.64 9 +7 34 11.5
3 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:31.083 +3.06 2 -1 4 10.7
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:31.450 +3.43 1 -3 3 10.6
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:32.833 +4.81 4 -1 3 10.3
6 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:32.942 +4.92 11 +5 29 11.6
7 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:33.025 +5.00 3 -4 2 10.3
8 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:38.900 +10.88 14 +6 22 11.3
9 Squish SFT The Soft Boys 3:41.500 +13.48 15 +6 18 11.4
10 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:41.775 +13.75 8 -2 9 10.5
11 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:44.267 +16.24 10 -1 33 12.1
12 Refried Ron BEA The Beans 3:46.900 +18.88 6 -6 11 10.6
13 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:47.917 +19.89 5 -8 14 10.7
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -7 12 10.7
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 24 11.6
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 12 10.9
3.075
There goes a piece of Pilot Light. Recent finishes: 5-5-7-5-7.
10.050
Old Gristle is coming through.
20.050
Slapper is on the move.
27.675
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 3-2-1-5-2.
38.617
Squish is losing bits.
48.342
Slapper leaves something behind.
52.675
Old Gristle is airborne!
57.033
Up it goes.
1:03.342
That has come off. Recent finishes: 2-3-4-4-1.
1:16.450
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 3-2-1-5-2.
1:22.383
Look at the state of it.
1:26.875
Yolk will not take much more. Recent finishes: 2-3-4-4-1.
1:28.375
Yolk is out, and Crooked Pete did it.
1:33.742
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:40.050
Oh, that is a big one.
1:49.358
They felt that in the back row.
1:55.950
There goes a piece of Squish.
2:08.742
That was always going to happen.
2:13.283
That is a long way off the ground.
2:22.142
Long John has put Slapper out.
2:26.783
Refried Ron leaves something behind.
2:37.958
They felt that in the back row.
2:42.300
Absolute carnage.
2:49.050
That has come off.
2:53.658
Up it goes.
3:02.583
That is a long way off the ground.
3:04.083
Last lap.
3:09.875
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
3:15.917
Pilot Light is out.
3:25.025
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:28.025
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:32.575
Absolute carnage.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
The Hairpin Clay Old Gristle 25.125 Old Gristle 25.125
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 47.817 Thick Rick 21.917
The Hairpin Clay Thick Rick 1:17.008 Long John 25.916
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 1:42.425 Thick Rick 25.417
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 2:08.892 Old Gristle 23.908
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 2:35.383 Old Gristle 25.359
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:03.175 Wide Load 25.142
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:28.025 Old Gristle 24.850
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 7 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 12 2/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 13 2/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 23 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 24 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 25 1/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 25 2/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
Debut appearance.
15.43
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
Debut appearance.
15.43
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
Debut appearance.
15.43
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
Debut appearance.
15.43
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
Debut appearance.
14.58
5
Refried Ron The Beans
Debut appearance.
14.58
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
Debut appearance.
14.58
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
Debut appearance.
14.58
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
Debut appearance.
11.95
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
Debut appearance.
11.95
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
Debut appearance.
12.65
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
Debut appearance.
12.65
8
Slapper The Pucks
Debut appearance.
13.91
4
Wide Load The Pucks
Debut appearance.
13.91
2
Squish The Soft Boys
Debut appearance.
14.58
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
Debut appearance.
14.58

Course preview

4 sections · 123 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
The Hairpin Smooth
31m ↓16°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
The Hairpin Smooth
31m ↓16°

Long straights, a hairpin at each end, and a back straight with almost no drive left in it. The field fans out down one side and arrives at the corner as a single object down the other, which is where the racing — and most of the paperwork — happens. The back straight is where a Chunkle that has run out of momentum quietly discovers it is now scenery. Named for its shape, though regulars will tell you it is named for what it does to you.

On the record

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