Derby · Season 8 · Round 13
The Wall — Team Pack Race
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win
Old Gristle took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Unit finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.
| # | Competitor | Team | Time | Gap | Grid | +/- | Contacts | Top speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Old Gristle | Lump Patrol | 3:02.167 | — | 12 | +11 | 36 | 12.6 |
| 2 | The Unit | Basement Heat | 3:11.033 | +8.87 | 8 | +6 | 40 | 11.7 |
| 3 | Second Sock | The Wet Socks | 3:19.525 | +17.36 | 4 | +1 | 15 | 11.2 |
| 4 | Crooked Pete | The Noodles | 3:19.600 | +17.43 | 1 | -3 | 12 | 11.4 |
| 5 | Big Randy | The Noodles | 3:19.750 | +17.58 | 2 | -3 | 17 | 11.3 |
| — | The Heel WRECKED | The Wet Socks | — | — | 3 | -3 | 17 | 11.1 |
| — | Gravy WRECKED | Lump Patrol | — | — | 11 | +4 | 31 | 12.1 |
| — | The Kidney WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 6 | -2 | 27 | 11.7 |
| — | Lil Nugget WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 10 | +1 | 27 | 12.8 |
| — | Honey Mustard WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 9 | -1 | 30 | 12.8 |
| — | Sweaty Gerald WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 5 | -6 | 19 | 11.1 |
| — | Custard WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 16 | +4 | 22 | 12.1 |
| — | Slapper WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 13 | 0 | 21 | 13.1 |
| — | Radiator WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 7 | -7 | 13 | 11.7 |
| — | Tender Greg WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 15 | 0 | 11 | 12.2 |
| — | The Coaster RUNNING | The Pucks | — | — | 14 | -2 | 6 | 11.8 |
2.250
Up it goes.
6.825
There goes a piece of Tender Greg. Recent finishes: 7-4-2-4-5.
13.233
That has come off.
17.717
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
22.867
Radiator is losing bits. Recent finishes: 11-7-6-16-4.
29.367
That was always going to happen.
33.858
That was always going to happen.
38.708
Extraordinary scenes.
43.075
That is Second Sock taking Tender Greg with them. Recent finishes: 7-4-2-4-5.
50.425
There goes a piece of Big Randy. Recent finishes: 6-9-7-4-6.
51.925
Radiator is out. Recent finishes: 11-7-6-16-4.
59.100
There goes a piece of Slapper.
1:03.800
Old Gristle goes to the front.
1:10.500
That has come off.
1:12.000
Slapper is out.
1:16.625
Stripped to the shell.
1:20.333
That is Honey Mustard taking Custard with them.
1:26.058
Crooked Pete has put Sweaty Gerald out.
1:31.750
That is a long way off the ground.
1:36.650
Look at the state of it.
1:42.275
They will not want to see that again.
1:46.558
Honey Mustard will not take much more.
1:51.542
They will not want to see that again.
1:54.800
Honey Mustard is out.
2:00.050
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:05.375
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
2:09.917
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:13.633
The Unit has put Lil Nugget out.
2:20.983
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:26.100
Gravy takes the lead.
2:30.800
It is coming apart now.
2:37.058
The Kidney is airborne!
2:40.067
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:46.083
And it all goes wrong.
2:47.583
The Kidney is out.
2:49.083
This is the last of it.
2:59.167
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:02.167
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:12.375
Look at the state of it.
3:13.875
Crooked Pete has put The Heel out.
| Section | Surface | Leader at exit | Elapsed | Fastest through |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 14.033 | Old Gristle 14.033 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 27.117 | Old Gristle 13.084 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 40.750 | Gravy 13.075 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 56.400 | Slapper 13.175 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:14.275 | The Unit 15.117 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:30.292 | Lil Nugget 14.967 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:41.342 | Old Gristle 11.050 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 1:57.658 | Gravy 13.642 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Gravy | 2:11.667 | Gravy 13.567 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Gravy | 2:28.958 | The Heel 15.958 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 2:48.333 | Big Randy 16.591 |
| Smooth Descent | Boards | Old Gristle | 3:02.167 | Old Gristle 13.834 |
| # | Team | Score | Finishers | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Lump Patrol | 8 | 1/2 | 8 |
| 2 | The Wet Socks | 9 | 1/2 | 7 |
| 3 | The Noodles | 9 | 2/2 | 6 |
| 4 | Basement Heat | 16 | 1/2 | 5 |
| 5 | The Beans | 19 | 0/2 | 4 |
| 6 | The Nuggets | 19 | 0/2 | 3 |
| 7 | The Soft Boys | 27 | 0/2 | 2 |
| 8 | The Pucks | 29 | 0/2 | 1 |
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.
Race card
16 declared6
Tender Greg
The Soft Boys
185 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 16-15-15-15-16.
219.30
Course preview
4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
16m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
35m
↓15°
A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.
On the record
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