Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Coaster survives to win

The Coaster took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Honey Mustard finished second. 4 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:33.767 13 +12 29 12.1
2 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:37.283 +3.52 9 +7 45 11.9
3 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:42.483 +8.72 10 +7 41 12.2
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:44.217 +10.45 3 -1 16 10.8
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.825 +11.06 4 -1 22 11.1
6 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:44.908 +11.14 16 +10 30 11.7
7 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:47.492 +13.73 2 -5 18 10.6
8 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:48.375 +14.61 14 +6 40 12.0
9 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:54.417 +20.65 11 +2 35 11.5
10 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:56.367 +22.60 6 -4 30 10.9
11 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:57.317 +23.55 7 -4 26 10.4
12 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:58.983 +25.22 8 -4 22 10.7
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -8 27 10.8
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -13 13 10.4
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -3 28 11.7
Tender Greg FELL SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 4 21.7
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
10.050
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 4-3-4-8-4.
14.825
Thick Rick is airborne!
20.050
Look at The Coaster go.
25.300
Wide Load goes to the front. Career record: 109 wins from 242, average finish 3.5.
30.050
It is unravelling for Custard.
35.408
The Coaster leaves something behind.
39.975
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
46.700
A new leader — Honey Mustard. Career record: 21 wins from 247, average finish 4.7.
51.592
The Coaster is airborne! Recent finishes: 1-1-15-1-3.
58.617
Chunk leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 2-6-5-2-2.
1:04.133
That has come off.
1:08.558
Up it goes.
1:12.858
Up it goes.
1:18.067
They will not want to see that again.
1:22.667
Wide Load is airborne!
1:29.058
You do not see that every day.
1:35.917
And it all goes wrong.
1:40.558
Look at the state of it.
1:51.200
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:55.683
Crooked Pete has nothing left on it.
2:01.725
Up it goes.
2:12.333
Custard is airborne!
2:19.375
It is coming apart now.
2:26.150
Extraordinary scenes.
2:30.700
They felt that in the back row.
2:32.458
Long John has put Crooked Pete out.
2:39.200
There is nothing left of it.
2:44.033
Up it goes.
2:45.533
The Kidney will not be back.
2:50.692
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
2:56.767
Custard is losing bits.
3:03.242
That has come off.
3:11.633
Last lap.
3:16.958
Absolute carnage.
3:21.300
Up it goes.
3:30.517
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
3:30.767
The Coaster has it.
3:33.767
The Coaster wins the derby.
3:44.058
That has come off.
3:51.158
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 23.375 Custard 23.375
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 47.342 Honey Mustard 21.792
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:07.400 Honey Mustard 20.058
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:32.633 The Coaster 22.133
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:54.033 The Coaster 21.400
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:19.533 Damp Kevin 24.233
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:43.850 Wide Load 23.325
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 3:11.633 Custard 22.691
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 5 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 9 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 21 1/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 22 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 23 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 23 2/2 2
8 LMP Lump Patrol 24 1/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
179 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 12-2-13-10-3.
219.30
7
Long John The Noodles
203 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 7-15-5-3-7.
17.02
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
189 starts, 36 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 3-7-3-4-2.
2.96
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
195 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-3-9-3-6.
4.28
6
The Kidney The Beans
188 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 13-12-11-10-12.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
188 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 4-9-8-6-8.
56.27
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
180 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 8-13-10-5-8.
109.05
1
The Unit Basement Heat
190 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 8-7-13-5-7.
45.28
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
193 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 6-8-10-8-6.
54.54
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
185 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 5-4-6-8-6.
20.13
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
188 starts, 42 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 14-2-1-1-4.
6.23
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
162 starts, 5 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 8-10-13-1-10.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
186 starts, 18 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 16-12-9-4-14.
132.48
4
Wide Load The Pucks
202 starts, 37 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 1-7-3-9-2.
4.83
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
196 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 10-16-15-14-13.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
187 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 7-11-14-6-13.
124.57

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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