Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 46

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Tube Sock survives to win

Tube Sock took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. Second Sock finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:19.092 3 +2 14 10.5
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:20.508 +1.42 4 +2 13 10.6
3 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:25.508 +6.42 12 +9 29 11.8
4 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:31.767 +12.68 7 +3 24 10.7
5 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:35.942 +16.85 5 0 18 10.4
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -4 13 11.1
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 35 12.7
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -2 16 10.7
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 0 39 11.8
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +6 26 11.0
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 0 27 11.8
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -11 12 10.6
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +1 32 12.1
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -1 27 12.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 12 10.4
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.0
3.600
Custard takes the lead.
9.308
Tender Greg is losing bits.
18.250
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
23.833
They felt that in the back row.
28.033
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 7-2-3-8-3.
29.533
Tender Greg is out. Recent finishes: 4-5-4-4-7.
35.675
Pilot Light is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-6-7-12-5.
40.825
Lil Nugget is losing bits.
46.417
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
50.717
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
55.250
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Recent finishes: 7-8-5-6-4.
59.633
Custard is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-4-4-4-4.
1:06.325
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
1:11.725
There is nothing left of it.
1:18.567
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:22.408
The Lieutenant has put Pilot Light out.
1:27.425
That has come off.
1:34.008
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:38.292
That has come off.
1:45.150
A new leader — Crooked Pete.
1:49.550
A new leader — The Coaster.
1:54.150
Up it goes.
1:58.950
That has come off.
2:04.958
Custard is losing bits.
2:10.083
It is coming apart now.
2:14.650
There is nothing protecting Floppy Joe now.
2:19.217
Up it goes.
2:23.017
Slapper will not be back.
2:28.567
Up it goes.
2:30.067
And that is The Coaster finished.
2:34.608
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
2:40.008
You do not see that every day.
2:42.908
Tube Sock has put Floppy Joe out.
2:47.275
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
2:52.150
Oh, that is a big one.
2:53.650
And that is Chunk finished.
2:55.508
One to go.
2:57.008
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:05.208
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:06.708
Crooked Pete is out.
3:11.108
Up it goes.
3:12.608
Lil Nugget is out.
3:14.108
Honey Mustard will not be back.
3:15.608
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:16.092
Here comes Tube Sock.
3:19.092
Tube Sock wins the derby.
3:31.675
That is real damage.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 20.025 The Lieutenant 20.025
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 43.417 Crooked Pete 20.717
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:02.633 The Coaster 18.808
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:26.792 Honey Mustard 21.100
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 1:49.867 Second Sock 21.658
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 2:11.008 The Coaster 21.141
Smooth Descent Clay Crooked Pete 2:34.400 The Lieutenant 21.267
Smooth Descent Clay Crooked Pete 2:55.508 Crooked Pete 21.108
Smooth Descent Clay Tube Sock 3:19.092 Second Sock 21.625
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 3 2/2 8
2 BEA The Beans 13 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 14 1/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 16 0/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 18 0/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 19 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 26 0/2 2
8 PCK The Pucks 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
194 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 5-16-9-15-7.
126.01
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
184 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 13-3-6-6-9.
101.38
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
199 starts, 25 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-1-3-5-2.
2.01
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
210 starts, 34 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 3-5-5-8-1.
2.26
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
191 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 9-7-12-5-11.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
202 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 16-12-13-15-13.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
184 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 10-10-5-10-8.
104.72
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
181 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 15-14-11-14-14.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
195 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 7-5-6-8-10.
56.66
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
196 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 9-10-7-14-13.
129.56
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
165 starts, 5 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 14-6-11-8-10.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
191 starts, 43 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 8-1-8-14-2.
8.33
8
Slapper The Pucks
190 starts, 20 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 11-11-12-9-1.
204.70
3
The Coaster The Pucks
190 starts, 18 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 6-8-12-3-16.
112.70
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
199 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 15-9-15-10-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
187 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 7-11-14-6-13.
106.14

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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