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Derby · Season 9 · Round 16

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Second Sock finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:19.300 — 11 +10 37 12.0
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:20.542 +1.24 4 +2 11 10.5
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:22.575 +3.28 3 0 10 10.8
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:22.908 +3.61 1 -3 10 10.3
5 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:23.458 +4.16 9 +4 35 11.9
6 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:26.583 +7.28 5 -1 18 10.6
7 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:28.550 +9.25 13 +6 37 12.2
8 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:29.200 +9.90 6 -2 21 11.1
9 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:33.375 +14.08 8 -1 24 10.5
10 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:36.083 +16.78 10 0 42 12.1
11 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:36.458 +17.16 7 -4 26 10.4
— Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles — — 2 -10 13 10.7
— Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol — — 12 -1 34 11.9
— Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 16 +2 12 11.4
— Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys — — 15 0 18 10.8
— Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks — — 14 -2 12 11.7
3.233
Absolute carnage.
8.892
Up it goes.
16.558
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 2-2-7-5-2.
21.358
Squish is losing bits. Recent finishes: 5-8-7-4-6.
26.033
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-1-3-5-3.
32.558
There goes a piece of Squish.
40.050
Second Sock is on the move.
46.233
They felt that in the back row.
50.475
Old Gristle is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-5-2-2-1.
57.542
Gravy leaves something behind.
1:04.592
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 3-3-1-3-3.
1:08.875
That has come off.
1:13.267
And it all goes wrong.
1:19.058
That is real damage.
1:23.575
Old Gristle is airborne!
1:30.050
Gravy is on the move.
1:34.333
Stubbs is airborne!
1:35.833
Damp Kevin has put Puck Yeah out.
1:40.050
Extraordinary scenes.
1:45.625
They will not want to see that again.
1:50.050
You do not see that every day.
1:51.550
Second Sock has put Squish out.
1:55.892
Up it goes.
1:57.392
That is Floppy Joe taking Yolk with them.
2:04.358
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
2:11.383
Crawlspace is losing bits.
2:17.650
That is a long way off the ground.
2:25.075
The Coaster is airborne!
2:35.742
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:40.550
They felt that in the back row.
2:46.150
Extraordinary scenes.
2:50.608
Up it goes.
2:57.042
Last lap.
3:01.417
That has come off.
3:05.342
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:11.592
The Coaster is airborne!
3:16.300
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:19.300
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:22.683
Floppy Joe is out, and Long John did it.
3:28.317
The Kidney has nothing left on it.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 18.700 Old Gristle 18.700
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 43.025 Long John 21.825
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:03.200 Old Gristle 20.175
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:24.025 Old Gristle 20.825
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:48.058 Lil Nugget 20.758
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:10.308 Gravy 20.366
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:34.892 Second Sock 21.142
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:57.042 Stubbs 20.583
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:19.300 The Coaster 18.650
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 14 1/2 7
3 BEA The Beans 14 2/2 6
4 NUG The Nuggets 15 2/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 16 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 20 2/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 23 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
211 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 5-15-4-2-5.
11.43
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
203 starts, 7 wins, average finish 9.0. Last five: 14-1-15-4-12.
151.60
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
203 starts, 37 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 3-3-4-5-1.
1.99
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
216 starts, 34 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 2-5-3-11-2.
2.62
22
Butter Bean The Beans
204 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 4-8-12-13-4.
64.00
6
The Kidney The Beans
201 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 6-11-15-16-9.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
198 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 14-8-2-9-12.
68.99
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
197 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 5-10-11-6-8.
79.37
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
203 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 8-2-10-6-12.
60.65
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
202 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 8-7-7-12-15.
137.41
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
214 starts, 52 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 15-1-1-15-1.
14.58
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
215 starts, 25 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 5-5-16-8-1.
67.95
3
The Coaster The Pucks
203 starts, 19 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 10-6-4-8-11.
114.87
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
197 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 11-11-14-13-15.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
202 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.7. Last five: 12-13-10-9-14.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
202 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-15-15-16-16.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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