Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 9 · Round 26

The Pinch — Team Pack Race

The Pinch Works · The Pinch · 135 m · 16 competitors Pinch points Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Second Sock survives to win

Second Sock took The Pinch — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. The Heel finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:16.908 3 +2 16 10.7
2 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:19.025 +2.12 4 +2 12 10.9
3 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:21.975 +5.07 2 -1 10 10.4
4 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:23.008 +6.10 14 +10 45 11.9
5 Floppy Joe NOO The Noodles 3:24.400 +7.49 1 -4 9 10.6
6 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:24.475 +7.57 12 +6 39 12.3
7 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:26.917 +10.01 11 +4 33 11.8
8 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 3:30.858 +13.95 6 -2 13 11.3
9 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:31.625 +14.72 8 -1 30 10.5
10 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:32.500 +15.59 7 -3 23 10.8
11 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:36.967 +20.06 9 -2 41 11.8
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 23 11.7
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -3 28 11.6
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -9 14 10.0
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 23 11.4
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 11.3
3.400
A new leader — Squish.
10.050
Squish is coming through. Recent finishes: 6-4-2-4-7.
16.925
That has come off. Recent finishes: 7-3-3-6-8.
23.875
That has come off. Recent finishes: 4-3-2-4-6.
28.492
Wide Load is airborne! Recent finishes: 3-2-1-1-1.
33.867
That was always going to happen.
38.367
Puck Yeah is losing bits.
43.825
That has come off. Recent finishes: 6-4-2-4-7.
49.000
The Unit is airborne!
53.617
Yolk is losing bits.
57.942
And it all goes wrong.
1:05.408
That has come off.
1:10.050
It is unravelling for Honey Mustard.
1:15.000
That is a long way off the ground.
1:21.017
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
1:26.692
Look at the state of it.
1:32.383
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:33.883
Crawlspace has put Yolk out.
1:38.425
Up it goes.
1:44.575
Oh, that is a big one.
1:50.050
And it all goes wrong.
1:55.150
That is a long way off the ground.
1:56.908
Squish is out.
2:07.175
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
2:13.667
That is real damage.
2:18.717
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:20.217
Long John has put Honey Mustard out.
2:24.917
That is a long way off the ground.
2:29.708
Floppy Joe leaves something behind.
2:34.492
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:35.992
Puck Yeah is out, and Old Gristle did it.
2:41.208
Old Gristle is airborne!
2:50.050
Wide Load is on the move.
2:54.883
Absolute carnage.
2:56.383
Last lap.
3:05.008
That has come off.
3:13.908
Second Sock has it.
3:15.192
That has come off.
3:16.908
Second Sock takes it!
3:24.300
Floppy Joe is losing bits.
3:30.800
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Squish 20.642 Squish 20.642
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 43.242 Old Gristle 21.059
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:04.625 Old Gristle 21.383
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:25.108 Wide Load 20.367
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:48.283 Puck Yeah 20.025
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 2:12.942 Wide Load 20.842
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 2:33.500 The Heel 20.150
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 2:55.067 Wide Load 20.158
Smooth Descent Clay Second Sock 3:16.908 Floppy Joe 20.725
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 3 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 8 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 13 2/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 16 1/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 19 2/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 22 1/2 3
7 NUG The Nuggets 24 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
209 starts, 8 wins, average finish 9.0. Last five: 1-14-12-8-15.
148.67
7
Long John The Noodles
215 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 2-4-4-7-5.
7.74
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
222 starts, 35 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 3-2-6-6-1.
2.39
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
188 starts, 19 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 2-8-3-13-1.
8.26
5
Refried Ron The Beans
210 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 12-14-12-11-12.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
202 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 9-11-13-16-5.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
204 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 11-12-7-5-6.
84.04
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
202 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 11-10-9-14-11.
170.25
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
206 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 15-10-9-14-8.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
210 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 15-6-9-6-9.
153.37
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
212 starts, 46 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 5-2-3-5-3.
6.11
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
217 starts, 53 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-2-4-15-1.
8.16
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
201 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 16-15-11-13-11.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
218 starts, 43 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 1-8-1-2-7.
6.79
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
206 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 16-12-14-15-16.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
209 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.7. Last five: 6-13-15-7-13.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
11m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

A disused rolling mill with an oval laid through the old loading bay, and a gap in the wall under four metres wide. Sixteen arrive at that gap together, two get through, and the rest sort it out — nine times a race, in front of a crowd that has stopped pretending it came for any other reason. The wall is original ironwork and has never once been repainted, on the grounds that it would only want doing again by Tuesday. Standing room is capped for reasons the management prefers not to put in writing.

On the record

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