Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 10 · Round 11

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Heel finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:24.783 12 +11 29 11.9
2 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:40.192 +15.41 4 +2 19 10.2
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:43.100 +18.32 3 0 15 11.0
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:45.075 +20.29 1 -3 15 10.5
5 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:53.983 +29.20 10 +5 38 12.1
6 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:59.217 +34.43 11 +5 44 11.6
7 The Kidney BEA The Beans 4:03.308 +38.53 5 -2 25 10.7
8 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 4:03.833 +39.05 9 +1 38 11.1
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +4 39 12.2
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +5 24 11.3
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -5 22 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -5 20 10.6
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.7
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 12 10.9
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 21 11.5
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 10.1
2.400
A new leader — Tender Greg. Career record: 1 wins from 285, average finish 5.7.
8.150
Old Gristle takes the lead.
12.567
Lil Nugget is airborne!
16.850
There goes a piece of Pilot Light. Recent finishes: 4-16-5-16-8.
21.150
The Kidney leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 5-8-7-6-14.
29.767
Gravy leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 8-15-1-3-2.
34.000
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 6-14-2-6-1.
38.350
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
43.108
That has come off.
48.458
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
55.242
That is a long way off the ground.
1:00.050
It is unravelling for Gravy.
1:04.642
You do not see that every day.
1:11.767
The Coaster is losing bits.
1:16.825
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:21.933
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:28.033
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:31.900
Pilot Light is out, and The Kidney did it.
1:33.400
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:38.300
There is nothing left of it.
1:43.808
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:45.308
Tender Greg will not be back.
1:49.825
Crawlspace is losing bits.
1:55.675
You do not see that every day.
2:06.700
Look at the state of it.
2:11.133
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
2:15.850
That was always going to happen.
2:19.775
And that is Crooked Pete finished.
2:25.333
Oh, that is a big one.
2:30.050
Look at Lil Nugget go.
2:34.300
The Kidney is losing bits.
2:39.583
There is nothing protecting The Coaster now.
2:45.308
Absolute carnage.
2:55.067
It is coming apart now.
2:57.325
Crawlspace is out.
3:03.317
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
3:07.917
That is The Kidney taking The Coaster with them.
3:09.767
One to go.
3:11.508
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
3:15.942
Custard is out.
3:21.783
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:24.783
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:30.050
There is nothing protecting The Heel now.
3:34.842
Lil Nugget is airborne!
3:40.108
There is nothing left of it.
3:46.475
The Kidney leaves something behind.
4:03.067
The Kidney has nothing left on it.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 16.692 Tender Greg 16.692
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 34.050 Tender Greg 17.358
Smooth Descent Clay Tender Greg 52.733 The Heel 18.625
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:08.183 Old Gristle 13.241
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:22.550 Old Gristle 14.367
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:39.358 Old Gristle 16.808
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:54.158 Old Gristle 14.800
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:11.775 Lil Nugget 17.167
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:32.000 Lil Nugget 17.358
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:52.058 Tube Sock 17.500
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:09.767 The Heel 17.050
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:24.783 Old Gristle 15.016
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 5 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 7 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 13 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 18 1/2 4
6 PCK The Pucks 24 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 24 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 28 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
238 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 7-8-4-3-8.
10.40
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
216 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 8-10-13-2-6.
217.57
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
224 starts, 29 wins, average finish 4.2. Last five: 2-2-2-1-3.
1.86
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
208 starts, 20 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 1-5-5-10-8.
10.12
6
The Kidney The Beans
222 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 7-6-13-10-8.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
216 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 10-9-12-14-16.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
222 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 9-6-7-6-10.
87.25
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
204 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 15-13-15-16-15.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
218 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 2-5-8-4-9.
14.40
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
224 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 14-12-10-6-8.
168.23
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
237 starts, 27 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 15-4-4-9-6.
39.24
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
236 starts, 58 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 2-2-15-2-4.
4.44
3
The Coaster The Pucks
222 starts, 21 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 5-8-5-2-4.
26.96
8
Slapper The Pucks
212 starts, 23 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 12-11-10-15-11.
147.24
21
Custard The Soft Boys
222 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 10-8-5-9-4.
59.56
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
226 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 16-12-16-12-16.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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