Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 10 · Round 3

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Thick Rick finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:04.417 13 +12 39 12.7
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:04.817 +0.40 10 +8 47 12.4
3 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:08.158 +3.74 12 +9 43 13.1
4 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:16.608 +12.19 6 +2 38 11.6
5 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:18.058 +13.64 3 -2 11 11.0
6 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:19.575 +15.16 4 -2 11 11.1
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -6 13 11.1
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -6 14 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -2 30 11.7
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -5 27 11.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -2 32 12.4
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +2 17 13.6
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 -2 20 13.0
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +1 17 11.8
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 12 10.6
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 8 11.9
2.308
Tender Greg is airborne! Recent finishes: 8-5-4-4-13.
6.550
A new leader — The Lieutenant. Career record: 73 wins from 296, average finish 3.7.
10.875
Thick Rick is losing bits. Recent finishes: 12-1-2-3-9.
15.200
Tender Greg is losing bits.
20.050
Look at Squish go.
24.692
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 12-1-2-3-9.
30.050
And it all goes wrong.
34.908
There is nothing left of it.
40.050
Honey Mustard is going backwards.
41.917
Tender Greg is out, and Second Sock did it.
43.758
Pilot Light is out.
49.275
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 13-2-6-2-1.
54.192
You do not see that every day.
57.650
Squish is out, and The Lieutenant did it.
1:02.442
Oh, that is a big one.
1:06.983
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
1:11.292
That is a long way off the ground.
1:15.508
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:21.467
Slapper is airborne!
1:26.383
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
1:30.692
Chunk is in trouble.
1:35.142
Chunk is out.
1:39.525
They will not want to see that again.
1:41.025
Slapper is out.
1:46.700
A new leader — Wide Load.
1:51.867
Butter Bean leaves something behind.
1:56.183
There goes a piece of Sweaty Gerald.
2:01.533
Up it goes.
2:03.033
Honey Mustard will not be back.
2:07.300
You do not see that every day.
2:11.642
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
2:14.142
Crawlspace is out.
2:23.500
Extraordinary scenes.
2:30.317
Thick Rick is airborne!
2:38.958
They felt that in the back row.
2:40.958
Crooked Pete is out.
2:47.367
And it all goes wrong.
2:48.867
This is the last of it.
2:56.400
Up it goes.
3:01.417
Wide Load is coming to the flag.
3:02.700
Thick Rick goes to the front.
3:04.200
Nothing in it!
3:05.700
Wide Load takes it!
3:07.200
That is Wide Load taking Floppy Joe with them.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards The Lieutenant 13.208 The Lieutenant 13.208
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 28.375 Thick Rick 12.492
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 43.367 Slapper 14.583
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 59.983 Wide Load 11.850
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 1:15.433 Honey Mustard 13.075
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 1:31.292 Slapper 13.167
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:46.908 The Lieutenant 13.933
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:01.225 Wide Load 14.317
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:14.983 Wide Load 13.758
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:30.642 The Lieutenant 14.867
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:47.783 The Lieutenant 14.100
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 3:04.417 Thick Rick 14.884
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 11 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 13 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 13 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 14 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 15 0/2 4
6 LMP Lump Patrol 16 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 30 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
223 starts, 8 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 13-3-6-15-11.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
213 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 2-6-15-6-10.
88.37
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
221 starts, 41 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 1-3-6-1-10.
2.91
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
237 starts, 37 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 2-5-3-2-7.
3.44
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
214 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 12-14-16-8-13.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
227 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 11-9-13-5-11.
66.21
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
220 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 7-6-10-11-11.
89.70
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
202 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 15-16-15-13-15.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
224 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 12-7-6-5-8.
106.54
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
216 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 8-4-9-3-6.
26.37
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
189 starts, 6 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 14-1-16-11-14.
219.30
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
227 starts, 49 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 5-1-10-2-1.
5.35
4
Wide Load The Pucks
237 starts, 49 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-1-7-4-7.
4.50
8
Slapper The Pucks
210 starts, 23 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 10-15-11-13-10.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
221 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.8. Last five: 9-11-10-14-11.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
223 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.5. Last five: 12-16-10-16-15.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

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