Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 10 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Gravy survives to win

Gravy took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Honey Mustard finished second. 4 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:37.158 11 +10 34 12.3
2 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:43.700 +6.54 9 +7 32 12.0
3 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:44.533 +7.38 13 +10 36 12.0
4 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:45.200 +8.04 12 +8 34 12.3
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.233 +8.08 3 -2 18 10.8
6 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:48.792 +11.63 1 -5 15 10.6
7 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:49.058 +11.90 10 +3 47 12.3
8 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:49.250 +12.09 14 +6 36 11.7
9 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:49.350 +12.19 2 -7 16 10.7
10 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 4:00.267 +23.11 7 -3 26 10.8
11 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 4:00.783 +23.63 5 -6 19 10.8
12 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:01.042 +23.88 6 -6 24 10.7
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -9 19 10.4
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 24 11.7
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 12 10.6
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 11.6
3.800
That has come off. Recent finishes: 3-8-4-4-7.
9.000
Old Gristle goes to the front.
13.617
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
19.183
That has come off.
25.525
There goes a piece of Pilot Light. Recent finishes: 9-5-6-14-5.
30.050
Stubbs is coming through. Recent finishes: 16-2-3-3-7.
34.950
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Recent finishes: 13-8-4-2-6.
39.350
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 12-2-7-3-7.
44.008
That has come off.
50.050
Extraordinary scenes.
54.550
Old Gristle goes to the front.
59.000
You do not see that every day.
1:03.450
Custard is airborne!
1:04.950
Tender Greg is out, and Second Sock did it.
1:10.050
Oh, that is a big one.
1:17.775
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:26.533
Up it goes.
1:31.275
That is a long way off the ground.
1:39.250
And that is Pilot Light finished.
1:44.308
The Heel leaves something behind.
1:48.633
There goes a piece of Custard.
1:54.183
That is a long way off the ground.
2:00.083
Custard leaves something behind.
2:08.817
That has come off.
2:14.033
Up it goes.
2:18.800
You do not see that every day.
2:23.500
Look at the state of it.
2:29.342
Up it goes.
2:34.142
It is coming apart now.
2:38.375
Up it goes.
2:43.000
That is real damage.
2:48.775
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:50.317
Custard is out, and Old Gristle did it.
2:55.700
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
2:58.367
The Heel will not be back.
3:04.175
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:08.625
Stubbs leaves something behind.
3:17.858
There is nothing protecting Gravy now.
3:19.358
This is the last of it.
3:24.275
That was always going to happen.
3:31.408
That is a long way off the ground.
3:34.158
Here comes Gravy.
3:35.967
Big Randy leaves something behind.
3:37.467
Gravy wins the derby.
3:46.758
They felt that in the back row.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 21.233 Gravy 21.233
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 44.408 Old Gristle 22.825
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:07.442 Old Gristle 21.867
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:34.408 Stubbs 22.133
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:59.133 Gravy 20.883
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:25.700 Honey Mustard 22.550
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:51.583 The Coaster 21.858
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:17.908 Slapper 23.733
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 9 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 11 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 15 2/2 5
5 WET The Wet Socks 18 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 23 2/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 25 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 30 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
226 starts, 14 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 11-1-15-9-7.
19.40
7
Long John The Noodles
249 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 2-6-3-13-4.
6.14
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
247 starts, 37 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 5-7-2-8-5.
2.89
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
215 starts, 20 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 3-5-5-9-12.
9.38
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
227 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 13-8-10-13-11.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
242 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 12-9-12-9-5.
84.84
1
The Unit Basement Heat
229 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 14-8-4-10-8.
33.59
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
213 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 13-15-15-16-13.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
239 starts, 8 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 6-10-6-9-3.
39.78
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
229 starts, 14 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 2-6-11-11-15.
23.84
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
246 starts, 30 wins, average finish 7.0. Last five: 1-4-1-6-9.
9.32
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
246 starts, 59 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 16-5-5-2-12.
5.08
8
Slapper The Pucks
221 starts, 24 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 11-12-12-15-13.
167.55
3
The Coaster The Pucks
234 starts, 22 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 4-10-14-8-10.
34.87
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
238 starts, 1 win, average finish 14.4. Last five: 15-16-10-1-14.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
229 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 9-12-10-1-4.
45.51

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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