Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 12 · Round 10

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Stubbs finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:27.742 11 +10 30 12.6
2 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:33.250 +5.51 10 +8 35 12.5
3 Slapper PCK The Pucks 3:34.200 +6.46 14 +11 34 13.2
4 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.242 +17.50 4 0 16 10.6
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:47.033 +19.29 3 -2 16 10.7
6 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:53.125 +25.38 7 +1 26 10.7
7 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:06.133 +38.39 5 -2 24 10.9
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +8 31 11.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 0 48 11.9
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +3 31 12.8
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -10 13 10.6
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 23 11.8
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 12 10.3
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 12 11.7
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -10 14 10.5
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
8.083
Stubbs is airborne!
12.683
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 8-7-14-4-15.
16.975
There goes a piece of Slapper. Recent finishes: 1-2-1-1-1.
23.083
Absolute carnage.
28.775
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
38.450
The Lieutenant is airborne!
43.425
Slapper leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 1-2-1-1-1.
48.633
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 3-2-5-2-2.
54.192
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 8-7-14-4-15.
1:01.617
Up it goes.
1:06.408
That has come off.
1:11.583
That is a long way off the ground.
1:16.808
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
1:24.950
The Lieutenant leaves something behind.
1:29.233
There is nothing protecting Yolk now.
1:33.350
That is Pilot Light taking Refried Ron with them.
1:36.758
That is Honey Mustard taking Yolk with them.
1:41.492
Stripped to the shell.
1:45.708
There is nothing protecting Pilot Light now.
1:50.050
Honey Mustard is going backwards.
1:54.858
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:00.000
And that is Pilot Light finished.
2:04.625
Up it goes.
2:09.675
That was always going to happen.
2:13.842
And that is Chunk finished.
2:18.667
Up it goes.
2:20.167
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:25.942
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
2:34.975
They felt that in the back row.
2:40.383
Up it goes.
2:45.633
There is nothing left of it.
2:51.400
Look at the state of it.
2:58.750
There goes a piece of Slapper.
3:02.525
One to go.
3:08.358
There goes a piece of Custard.
3:09.942
The Coaster will not be back.
3:12.458
Floppy Joe will not be back.
3:17.750
That is a long way off the ground.
3:24.033
That has come off.
3:24.742
The Lieutenant has it.
3:27.525
The Lieutenant has put Honey Mustard out.
3:29.025
It is The Lieutenant!
3:33.742
Extraordinary scenes.
3:38.175
And that is Custard finished.
3:52.883
There goes a piece of Butter Bean.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 23.367 Stubbs 23.367
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 47.608 The Lieutenant 23.450
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 1:09.850 Stubbs 21.867
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 1:30.733 Stubbs 20.883
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 1:53.125 Stubbs 22.392
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 2:18.233 The Lieutenant 21.591
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 2:43.758 The Coaster 19.934
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:02.525 The Lieutenant 18.500
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 11 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 13 1/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 20 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 23 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 23 0/2 2
8 NOO The Noodles 24 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
269 starts, 11 wins, average finish 9.1. Last five: 7-13-13-6-12.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
263 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 12-2-15-1-10.
165.98
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
264 starts, 34 wins, average finish 4.2. Last five: 2-16-5-3-1.
3.96
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
287 starts, 41 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 1-4-4-4-2.
1.91
22
Butter Bean The Beans
286 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 3-11-1-8-13.
42.81
5
Refried Ron The Beans
261 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 9-15-8-14-7.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
272 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 10-6-7-8-13.
79.26
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
248 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 13-10-15-11-14.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
276 starts, 9 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 3-8-14-7-12.
43.39
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
279 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 15-9-9-11-9.
57.76
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
276 starts, 61 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 6-1-8-1-5.
4.30
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
234 starts, 7 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 10-14-10-5-14.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
267 starts, 25 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 2-13-15-11-10.
64.10
8
Slapper The Pucks
264 starts, 26 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 7-13-5-3-7.
93.61
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
266 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.4. Last five: 11-16-11-16-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
274 starts, 7 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 7-6-12-5-8.
61.17

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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