Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 12 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Coaster survives to win

The Coaster took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Old Gristle finished second. 7 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Coaster PCK The Pucks 3:29.792 14 +13 41 12.0
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:37.850 +8.06 11 +9 25 12.3
3 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:44.758 +14.97 9 +6 39 12.5
4 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:45.008 +15.22 4 0 19 10.6
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:47.475 +17.68 3 -2 16 10.5
6 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:48.525 +18.73 1 -5 20 11.0
7 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:55.208 +25.42 10 +3 48 11.7
8 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:56.942 +27.15 6 -2 29 10.7
9 Sweaty Gerald BEA The Beans 4:00.533 +30.74 5 -4 25 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -2 29 10.5
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -9 15 10.6
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 32 12.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 18 11.4
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 12 11.5
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -3 12 12.0
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -9 12 10.7
2.317
They will not want to see that again.
10.050
Look at Yolk go. Recent finishes: 6-4-6-4-12.
14.342
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 8-3-5-3-16.
18.967
Oh, that is a big one.
24.283
The Coaster is airborne!
30.050
The Coaster is on the move. Recent finishes: 2-1-5-1-1.
34.250
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 5-3-8-10-2.
38.967
The Coaster is losing bits.
43.025
Sweaty Gerald has put Pilot Light out. Recent finishes: 5-16-7-5-3.
48.008
That is a long way off the ground.
52.550
That is a long way off the ground.
56.750
Up it goes.
1:01.142
Extraordinary scenes.
1:03.992
That is Crooked Pete taking Chunk with them.
1:09.400
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:14.208
Slapper leaves something behind.
1:18.417
Extraordinary scenes.
1:23.525
There is nothing protecting Yolk now.
1:27.983
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
1:33.408
Big Randy leaves something behind.
1:36.092
Yolk is out.
1:41.700
And it all goes wrong.
1:46.700
That is a long way off the ground.
1:52.633
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
1:59.575
And it all goes wrong.
2:06.850
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
2:11.425
Slapper is airborne!
2:17.192
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
2:18.808
Squish is out, and Second Sock did it.
2:24.267
There is nothing left of it.
2:29.542
That has come off.
2:34.267
That has come off.
2:40.050
Slapper is losing places.
2:46.650
Honey Mustard goes to the front.
2:51.700
Stripped to the shell.
2:56.075
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
3:03.192
That was always going to happen.
3:08.600
This is the last of it.
3:14.092
That is Old Gristle taking Slapper with them.
3:19.250
Crooked Pete is in trouble.
3:26.792
Here comes The Coaster.
3:29.792
The Coaster wins the derby.
3:31.292
Crooked Pete will not be back.
3:46.150
Stripped to the shell.
3:54.017
Crawlspace will not be back.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 21.875 Slapper 21.875
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 44.858 Honey Mustard 21.541
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:07.817 Slapper 20.359
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:32.558 Old Gristle 20.641
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 1:57.067 Old Gristle 22.425
Smooth Descent Clay Slapper 2:24.533 Honey Mustard 19.058
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:48.067 Honey Mustard 22.167
Smooth Descent Clay The Coaster 3:08.600 The Coaster 19.392
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 10 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 13 1/2 6
4 LMP Lump Patrol 17 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 17 2/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 26 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
284 starts, 16 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 8-5-4-3-8.
15.68
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
277 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 11-11-11-13-13.
219.30
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
310 starts, 43 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 2-2-6-10-6.
2.53
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
281 starts, 36 wins, average finish 4.2. Last five: 1-9-3-6-2.
2.67
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
286 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.9. Last five: 5-12-8-14-15.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
305 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 4-7-5-15-14.
85.44
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
264 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 16-13-16-14-10.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
295 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 15-6-13-7-9.
135.96
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
301 starts, 10 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 13-9-6-2-6.
52.63
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
284 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 10-6-9-12-11.
25.88
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
309 starts, 75 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 14-8-3-4-3.
5.33
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
255 starts, 8 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 11-8-15-4-11.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
282 starts, 26 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 5-12-7-7-7.
108.05
3
The Coaster The Pucks
291 starts, 27 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 9-10-3-3-8.
40.15
2
Squish The Soft Boys
290 starts, 1 win, average finish 10.9. Last five: 6-13-15-15-11.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
292 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 12-16-15-15-16.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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