Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 2 · Round 3

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Gravy survives to win

Gravy took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Unit finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. Basement Heat took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:03.425 11 +10 32 13.2
2 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:13.308 +9.88 7 +5 41 11.5
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:15.567 +12.14 3 0 21 10.8
4 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:16.675 +13.25 8 +4 30 11.4
5 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:19.108 +15.68 2 -3 9 11.1
6 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:19.958 +16.53 4 -2 13 10.9
7 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:19.967 +16.54 1 -6 10 11.5
Old Gristle RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol 12 +4 33 12.3
Thick Rick WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +1 50 12.8
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +5 35 12.6
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +2 22 12.4
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -3 23 11.9
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -8 13 11.5
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -8 20 11.5
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 10 13.9
Slapper RUNNING PCK The Pucks 14 -2 6 11.4
1.950
Yolk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-5-4-5-3.
6.500
Crawlspace takes the lead. Career record: 1 wins from 56, average finish 7.0.
11.283
Lil Nugget leaves something behind.
16.242
Look at the state of it.
23.308
That is a long way off the ground.
27.533
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 6-1-1-15-3.
32.150
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
37.000
A new leader — The Unit.
42.383
Crooked Pete is losing bits. Recent finishes: 11-7-8-8-7.
46.950
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 2-2-2-6-2.
49.467
Damp Kevin has put Yolk out.
53.833
Oh, that is a big one.
56.600
Old Gristle has put Sweaty Gerald out.
1:00.842
Oh, that is a big one.
1:05.467
Crawlspace is losing bits.
1:11.117
Up it goes.
1:15.850
Refried Ron is out, and Big Randy did it.
1:20.050
Lil Nugget is on the move.
1:27.667
Lil Nugget has nothing left on it.
1:32.675
They felt that in the back row.
1:36.225
The Unit has put Lil Nugget out.
1:40.600
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:46.508
Crooked Pete leaves something behind.
1:50.800
That has come off.
1:55.517
They felt that in the back row.
2:00.050
The Coaster is coming through.
2:05.792
And that is The Coaster finished.
2:11.417
That is real damage.
2:13.650
And that is Custard finished.
2:21.067
Gravy leaves something behind.
2:25.308
Up it goes.
2:30.358
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:41.608
That is a long way off the ground.
2:49.367
One to go.
2:55.258
The Heel leaves something behind.
2:59.467
That was always going to happen.
3:00.425
Gravy has it.
3:00.967
Thick Rick is out.
3:03.425
Gravy takes it!
3:08.383
There goes a piece of Old Gristle.
3:17.567
Extraordinary scenes.
3:22.575
Old Gristle has stalled.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Yolk 14.750 Yolk 14.750
Smooth Descent Boards The Unit 30.808 Gravy 14.391
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 45.508 Gravy 14.525
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 58.350 Gravy 12.842
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:13.967 Thick Rick 14.850
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:29.117 Thick Rick 13.675
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:45.133 The Coaster 14.100
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:02.400 Custard 15.975
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:21.850 Old Gristle 15.508
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:34.475 Gravy 12.625
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:49.367 Thick Rick 13.783
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 3:03.425 Gravy 14.058
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 HEA Basement Heat 6 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 9 1/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 12 2/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 21 0/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 27 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
25 starts, 0 wins, average finish 6.6. Last five: 15-3-10-6-5.
22.29
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
26 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 5-8-11-12-3.
61.64
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
28 starts, 5 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 3-2-7-4-8.
3.19
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
16 starts, 3 wins, average finish 4.8. Last five: 1-7-1-6-4.
5.22
5
Refried Ron The Beans
21 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.6. Last five: 10-15-16-9-8.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
23 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.7. Last five: 6-11-14-11-10.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
18 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.4. Last five: 4-12-7-1-2.
11.49
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
26 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 9-13-6-10-10.
53.43
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
24 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.2. Last five: 9-7-8-7-11.
74.01
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
26 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 8-9-14-4-3.
37.86
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
21 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 16-2-5-8-15.
81.59
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
30 starts, 9 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 1-4-2-9-1.
3.03
3
The Coaster The Pucks
21 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 12-4-11-12-13.
83.39
8
Slapper The Pucks
25 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.1. Last five: 8-14-3-8-9.
75.53
21
Custard The Soft Boys
22 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.7. Last five: 6-12-3-6-1.
18.14
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
24 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.8. Last five: 7-15-10-11-14.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

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