Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 2 · Round 43

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Big Randy finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Noodles took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:05.250 14 +13 47 13.3
2 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:18.392 +13.14 2 0 11 11.0
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:18.558 +13.31 3 0 10 10.8
4 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:19.567 +14.32 4 0 19 11.0
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:19.592 +14.34 1 -4 11 10.9
6 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:37.933 +32.68 9 +3 54 11.8
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -1 31 11.4
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -3 22 11.6
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +2 31 13.0
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +3 31 12.8
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +4 26 12.2
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -2 26 12.3
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +3 21 11.7
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 -2 19 12.8
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 15 10.8
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -9 12 10.8
2.100
A new leader — Squish. Career record: 2 wins from 78, average finish 5.9.
6.575
Wide Load is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-16-8-1-3.
10.992
Oh, that is a big one.
15.650
There goes a piece of The Heel.
20.050
Gravy is coming through.
24.800
Chunk is airborne!
30.050
Custard is coming through.
34.700
There goes a piece of Squish.
40.050
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 8-14-4-3-4.
45.800
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 3-6-2-2-3.
50.050
Gravy is coming through. Recent finishes: 1-1-2-2-2.
54.708
There goes a piece of Wide Load.
59.617
Honey Mustard is airborne!
1:01.117
Pilot Light will not be back.
1:07.583
Up it goes.
1:12.783
Crawlspace has nothing left on it.
1:17.183
Oh, that is a big one.
1:19.133
And that is Chunk finished.
1:22.867
Crawlspace is out, and Tube Sock did it.
1:29.742
The Heel leaves something behind.
1:32.258
And that is Squish finished.
1:37.550
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:41.958
That is Long John taking Honey Mustard with them.
1:46.817
Extraordinary scenes.
1:49.958
Custard will not be back.
1:54.925
Up it goes.
1:59.325
It is coming apart now.
2:04.292
The Coaster has nothing left on it.
2:07.983
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:10.408
The Coaster is out.
2:17.458
Wide Load is losing bits.
2:25.092
Wide Load is airborne!
2:29.708
Absolute carnage.
2:33.717
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:44.817
Oh, that is a big one.
2:49.558
One to go.
2:53.575
Tube Sock has put The Kidney out.
2:58.150
Oh, that is a big one.
3:02.250
Wide Load is coming to the flag.
3:04.467
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:05.967
It is Wide Load!
3:13.008
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:27.133
There is nothing left of it.
3:33.433
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards The Coaster 14.967 The Coaster 14.967
Smooth Descent Boards Custard 29.100 Stubbs 12.650
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 43.883 Honey Mustard 12.816
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 57.342 Gravy 13.459
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:13.367 Chunk 15.241
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:28.783 Wide Load 12.408
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:42.975 Gravy 14.192
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:00.017 Wide Load 14.975
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:18.417 The Kidney 15.692
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:35.767 The Kidney 16.058
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:49.558 Wide Load 13.791
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 3:05.250 Stubbs 14.033
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 11 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 15 0/2 5
5 NUG The Nuggets 18 1/2 4
6 LMP Lump Patrol 23 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 24 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
41 starts, 1 win, average finish 5.2. Last five: 15-5-6-6-10.
9.76
1
Big Randy The Noodles
47 starts, 1 win, average finish 6.5. Last five: 4-6-3-7-7.
9.19
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
48 starts, 4 wins, average finish 4.5. Last five: 2-2-4-1-7.
2.15
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
29 starts, 4 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 2-4-6-10-6.
6.47
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
47 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.2. Last five: 13-16-11-11-10.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
35 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 11-14-13-8-11.
190.97
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
36 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.3. Last five: 12-15-13-14-16.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
42 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 6-9-12-11-8.
36.94
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
40 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.1. Last five: 14-12-2-6-1.
48.69
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
34 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.6. Last five: 2-14-10-9-4.
32.63
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
40 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 8-9-16-15-4.
54.45
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
36 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.2. Last five: 7-13-14-3-12.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
42 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.0. Last five: 3-14-5-3-1.
31.66
4
Wide Load The Pucks
41 starts, 9 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 4-12-8-2-2.
6.95
21
Custard The Soft Boys
38 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 9-11-3-12-8.
41.63
2
Squish The Soft Boys
35 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.2. Last five: 8-15-10-13-9.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

On the record

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