Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 3 · Round 17

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Second Sock finished second. 12 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:29.517 14 +13 47 12.3
2 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:40.800 +11.28 4 +2 55 10.8
3 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:40.917 +11.40 9 +6 53 11.8
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:42.483 +12.97 3 -1 44 10.5
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +5 44 11.3
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +5 29 12.6
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -6 31 10.7
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +5 31 11.8
Old Gristle FELL LMP Lump Patrol 12 +3 16 23.0
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -5 26 10.6
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -3 23 10.6
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 12 10.4
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.9
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +1 10 11.2
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 11 10.2
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -9 11 10.1
1.842
Pilot Light leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 8-8-6-5-3.
6.400
A new leader — Old Gristle. Career record: 24 wins from 96, average finish 3.9.
11.117
Pilot Light leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 8-8-6-5-3.
17.192
That has come off. Recent finishes: 4-8-8-6-10.
22.775
They felt that in the back row.
27.300
That is real damage. Recent finishes: 8-8-6-5-3.
28.800
Pilot Light is out, and Second Sock did it.
33.433
Yolk is in trouble.
37.883
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
39.775
Sweaty Gerald has put Yolk out.
41.633
Tender Greg is out.
48.950
They will not want to see that again.
52.708
Floppy Joe will not be back.
57.767
Old Gristle is airborne!
1:03.033
Up it goes.
1:05.683
Sweaty Gerald has put Refried Ron out.
1:10.050
Honey Mustard is coming through.
1:14.750
That has come off.
1:16.617
Big Randy has put Crawlspace out.
1:19.758
Big Randy has put Sweaty Gerald out.
1:24.375
That is a long way off the ground.
1:30.017
Gravy is losing bits.
1:37.050
Wide Load takes the lead.
1:41.442
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
1:48.867
You do not see that every day.
1:55.975
Up it goes.
2:02.642
Stubbs leaves something behind.
2:04.842
Puck Yeah is out.
2:09.350
Big Randy is in trouble.
2:11.242
And that is Big Randy finished.
2:17.900
Wide Load is losing bits.
2:23.600
Honey Mustard is airborne!
2:34.733
Stubbs is airborne!
2:41.275
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:47.558
That is a long way off the ground.
2:49.058
Gravy will not be back.
2:55.933
Honey Mustard is in trouble.
2:58.817
Wrecked, and out of the race.
3:03.767
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:06.075
One to go.
3:20.558
Wide Load is airborne!
3:26.517
Here comes Wide Load.
3:29.517
Wide Load wins the derby.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 20.517 Wide Load 20.517
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 42.792 Wide Load 22.275
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:07.200 Old Gristle 21.792
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:27.842 Gravy 20.091
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:52.617 Wide Load 23.434
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:16.192 Honey Mustard 23.383
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:41.900 Stubbs 22.642
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:06.075 Wide Load 24.175
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:29.517 Wide Load 23.442
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 6 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 8 1/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 9 1/2 6
4 LMP Lump Patrol 15 0/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 20 0/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 22 0/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 27 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
58 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.5. Last five: 5-4-8-15-2.
30.12
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
42 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 11-1-15-1-3.
57.22
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
58 starts, 7 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 6-4-2-2-3.
3.78
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
48 starts, 5 wins, average finish 4.1. Last five: 2-4-7-6-2.
5.38
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
54 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 11-15-8-8-8.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
44 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 12-13-13-15-12.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
45 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 16-9-16-12-16.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
56 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 7-13-6-8-4.
123.37
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
51 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 10-6-8-14-2.
89.81
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
43 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.7. Last five: 6-12-12-2-6.
60.98
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
57 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 3-5-1-11-5.
25.54
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
58 starts, 18 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 1-3-1-1-3.
2.41
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
52 starts, 2 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 15-9-15-15-9.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
52 starts, 12 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-2-8-11-1.
6.87
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
56 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 16-16-14-16-16.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
49 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.9. Last five: 16-14-7-16-14.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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