Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 3 · Round 21

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win

Old Gristle took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:44.100 11 +10 37 12.2
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:45.117 +1.02 13 +11 39 11.4
3 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:47.417 +3.32 4 +1 17 10.6
4 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:47.908 +3.81 9 +5 47 11.1
5 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:48.183 +4.08 1 -4 15 10.6
6 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:48.442 +4.34 3 -3 23 10.2
7 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:49.617 +5.52 10 +3 36 11.4
8 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:02.592 +18.49 5 -3 29 10.4
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +3 31 11.9
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -8 13 10.4
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -4 12 10.4
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 16 10.5
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +1 21 11.1
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 13 10.2
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +1 11 10.9
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 11.0
2.383
Tender Greg is losing bits.
7.617
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 3-12-5-4-12.
13.975
That has come off.
19.275
There goes a piece of Old Gristle.
26.783
Yolk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 3-12-5-4-12.
31.542
Tender Greg leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 15-3-4-16-3.
36.958
Yolk leaves something behind.
42.017
Up it goes.
46.567
Yolk leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 3-12-5-4-12.
50.908
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Recent finishes: 8-8-5-7-6.
55.300
That has come off.
1:00.050
Extraordinary scenes.
1:06.708
And it all goes wrong.
1:10.933
That is Pilot Light taking Tender Greg with them.
1:15.325
Puck Yeah is airborne!
1:20.050
Look at Wide Load go.
1:25.842
Floppy Joe leaves something behind.
1:27.675
And that is Yolk finished.
1:33.842
They will not want to see that again.
1:35.917
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:38.283
Radiator is out, and Gravy did it.
1:43.008
There goes a piece of Butter Bean.
1:47.592
They will not want to see that again.
1:53.117
There is nothing left of it.
2:01.067
That was always going to happen.
2:05.992
Extraordinary scenes.
2:10.233
And that is Pilot Light finished.
2:12.133
Refried Ron will not be back.
2:17.058
Up it goes.
2:21.450
That is real damage.
2:27.158
Stripped to the shell.
2:32.483
That has come off.
2:36.858
Gravy will not take much more.
2:40.908
Tube Sock has put Floppy Joe out.
2:50.050
Wide Load is on the move.
2:53.000
Gravy is out, and Thick Rick did it.
2:59.142
Wide Load is losing bits.
3:09.800
A new leader — Wide Load.
3:16.700
Up it goes.
3:24.850
Old Gristle goes to the front.
3:26.350
Last lap.
3:31.792
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:38.058
There is nothing left of it.
3:41.100
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:43.892
They will not want to see that again.
3:45.392
It is Old Gristle!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 16.042 Thick Rick 16.042
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 35.508 Yolk 18.733
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 54.667 Puck Yeah 16.983
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 1:14.525 Puck Yeah 17.817
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 1:32.142 Wide Load 16.700
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 1:48.292 Honey Mustard 15.942
Smooth Descent Clay Thick Rick 2:10.808 Gravy 17.291
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:27.892 Old Gristle 16.500
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 2:47.142 Wide Load 16.700
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:08.850 Damp Kevin 18.500
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:26.050 Old Gristle 17.200
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 3:44.100 Thick Rick 17.809
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 9 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 10 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 11 2/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 15 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 15 1/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 20 1/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 25 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
52 starts, 1 win, average finish 5.2. Last five: 3-7-4-6-5.
10.77
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
45 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 9-10-12-11-1.
157.28
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
59 starts, 7 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 5-2-1-1-1.
4.17
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
60 starts, 8 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 1-5-6-4-2.
3.06
22
Butter Bean The Beans
62 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 4-7-9-6-13.
93.53
5
Refried Ron The Beans
46 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 14-9-12-13-13.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
45 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 16-9-16-12-16.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
63 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 15-11-15-14-13.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
43 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.7. Last five: 6-12-12-2-6.
68.79
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
56 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 1-5-5-9-7.
27.31
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
59 starts, 18 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-1-3-1-1.
3.84
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
60 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 8-6-3-3-5.
49.23
4
Wide Load The Pucks
52 starts, 12 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-2-8-11-1.
7.68
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
54 starts, 2 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 13-13-15-9-15.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
58 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 14-16-16-16-14.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
52 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.0. Last five: 16-16-15-16-14.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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