Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 3 · Round 23

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Gravy survives to win

Gravy took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Crawlspace finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. The Noodles took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:08.692 11 +10 41 13.2
2 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:14.567 +5.88 7 +5 37 11.4
3 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:15.383 +6.69 5 +2 42 11.2
4 Crooked Pete NOO The Noodles 3:16.917 +8.23 2 -2 12 11.0
5 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:17.942 +9.25 10 +5 51 12.9
6 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:19.417 +10.73 1 -5 17 11.3
7 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:19.750 +11.06 4 -3 12 11.3
8 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:21.008 +12.32 3 -5 17 11.2
The Coaster WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +4 27 14.1
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +6 24 12.0
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -5 19 11.4
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 19 12.4
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -4 23 12.2
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 13 11.5
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 13 11.8
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 10 11.6
2.250
Up it goes.
6.625
Tender Greg is losing bits.
13.800
Custard takes the lead. Career record: 1 wins from 96, average finish 5.9.
18.825
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 7-6-6-5-7.
23.458
There is nothing left of it.
28.458
That has come off. Recent finishes: 2-1-3-1-2.
32.767
Tender Greg will not be back.
37.650
Custard takes the lead. Career record: 1 wins from 96, average finish 5.9.
40.825
Puck Yeah is out, and Gravy did it.
46.575
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 2-4-3-1-2.
51.083
That has come off.
57.325
There goes a piece of Radiator.
1:02.000
Gravy takes the lead.
1:06.850
Up it goes.
1:14.975
Stripped to the shell.
1:16.475
That is Butter Bean taking Radiator with them.
1:20.742
The Coaster leaves something behind.
1:22.242
That is Crooked Pete taking Honey Mustard with them.
1:23.742
Chunk will not be back.
1:29.008
There goes a piece of Custard.
1:34.300
A new leader — Gravy.
1:41.408
There is nothing left of it.
1:47.300
Tube Sock has put Sweaty Gerald out.
1:53.250
A new leader — Custard.
1:57.942
And that is Custard finished.
2:07.917
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:13.133
There goes a piece of Crooked Pete.
2:18.417
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:27.317
Up it goes.
2:36.800
Stripped to the shell.
2:41.792
Extraordinary scenes.
2:49.908
There goes a piece of Crawlspace.
2:51.642
One to go.
2:58.525
Crawlspace is losing bits.
3:05.692
Gravy is coming to the flag.
3:06.117
That has come off.
3:08.692
Gravy takes it!
3:18.817
Big Randy leaves something behind.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Custard 14.442 Custard 14.442
Smooth Descent Boards Custard 29.083 Honey Mustard 13.766
Smooth Descent Boards Custard 44.200 The Coaster 13.700
Smooth Descent Boards Chunk 58.350 Chunk 13.700
Smooth Descent Boards Chunk 1:11.975 Gravy 12.925
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:30.442 Custard 14.200
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 1:46.842 The Coaster 15.159
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:03.658 Crawlspace 15.175
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:20.217 Butter Bean 14.066
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:33.450 Gravy 13.233
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 2:51.642 Thick Rick 14.617
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 3:08.692 Thick Rick 15.325
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NOO The Noodles 10 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 13 1/2 7
3 BEA The Beans 14 1/2 6
4 WET The Wet Socks 15 2/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 16 1/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 18 1/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 24 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
58 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.5. Last five: 5-4-8-15-2.
9.72
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
59 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.9. Last five: 7-4-11-10-3.
46.48
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
60 starts, 7 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 6-5-2-1-1.
1.71
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
44 starts, 5 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 4-8-4-12-3.
7.03
22
Butter Bean The Beans
63 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.6. Last five: 13-4-7-9-6.
29.87
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
55 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 13-11-15-8-8.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
57 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.6. Last five: 8-7-13-6-8.
44.22
4
Radiator Basement Heat
64 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 9-15-11-15-14.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
44 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.7. Last five: 9-6-12-12-2.
40.43
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
56 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 1-5-5-9-7.
11.04
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
62 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 2-1-8-6-3.
12.52
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
44 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.5. Last five: 11-14-10-14-10.
219.30
3
The Coaster The Pucks
58 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 11-12-13-13-10.
138.63
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
56 starts, 2 wins, average finish 12.2. Last five: 7-8-13-13-15.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
60 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 14-10-14-16-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
49 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 5-12-5-3-11.
44.75

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

On the record

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