Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 3 · Round 7

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Gravy survives to win

Gravy took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Wide Load finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:22.300 12 +11 50 12.3
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:30.333 +8.03 14 +12 43 12.0
3 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:32.817 +10.52 11 +8 44 12.1
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:46.458 +24.16 3 -1 53 10.7
5 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:55.192 +32.89 7 +2 78 10.8
6 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:58.542 +36.24 5 -1 72 10.4
Thick Rick WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +3 50 11.6
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 +1 54 11.6
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +4 20 12.3
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -9 13 10.8
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +4 16 10.9
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -8 13 10.4
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -7 13 10.2
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 11 10.3
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -13 13 9.8
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 13 9.8
1.867
Oh, that is a big one. Recent finishes: 5-14-3-5-13.
6.100
Gravy takes the lead.
10.742
Extraordinary scenes.
15.075
That has come off.
20.050
Look at Puck Yeah go.
24.425
The Heel leaves something behind.
28.825
There is nothing protecting The Heel now.
30.325
That is Squish taking Radiator with them. Recent finishes: 5-14-3-5-13.
36.200
Tender Greg is out, and Puck Yeah did it.
40.467
That is The Unit taking Floppy Joe with them.
42.125
Wrecked, and out of the race.
47.000
A new leader — Gravy.
50.158
The Heel is out.
54.392
It is coming apart now.
1:00.433
Extraordinary scenes.
1:04.817
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 7-2-5-8-7.
1:11.433
Up it goes.
1:15.158
And that is Squish finished. Recent finishes: 7-2-5-8-7.
1:19.250
Crooked Pete is out.
1:23.533
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:28.633
Puck Yeah is airborne!
1:40.700
There is nothing protecting Puck Yeah now.
1:47.517
Up it goes.
1:51.783
Up it goes.
1:53.283
Puck Yeah is out, and Old Gristle did it.
1:58.542
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
2:02.758
Absolute carnage. Recent finishes: 5-1-3-14-5.
2:08.817
There goes a piece of Thick Rick.
2:13.033
Up it goes.
2:19.333
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:23.800
There goes a piece of Thick Rick.
2:30.000
Lil Nugget is losing bits.
2:35.800
Wide Load is airborne!
2:43.558
That was always going to happen.
2:53.633
That is a long way off the ground.
2:59.750
This is the last of it.
3:06.108
And that is Lil Nugget finished.
3:11.642
Thick Rick will not be back.
3:17.508
That has come off.
3:19.300
Here comes Gravy.
3:22.100
Stripped to the shell.
3:23.600
Gravy wins the derby.
3:29.150
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 21.083 Old Gristle 21.083
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 45.800 Gravy 21.525
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:09.658 Puck Yeah 22.817
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:32.500 Gravy 21.500
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:54.775 Wide Load 18.850
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:18.633 Old Gristle 21.834
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:37.725 Gravy 19.092
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 2:59.750 Gravy 22.025
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 3:22.300 Gravy 22.550
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 4 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 11 1/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 15 0/2 6
4 WET The Wet Socks 16 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 1/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 21 1/2 3
7 NOO The Noodles 25 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
49 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 12-6-15-11-13.
219.30
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
35 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 3-9-8-3-4.
28.08
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
50 starts, 6 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 5-2-3-5-7.
2.66
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
37 starts, 5 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 6-2-5-4-7.
11.39
22
Butter Bean The Beans
52 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.5. Last five: 2-13-3-8-11.
26.44
5
Refried Ron The Beans
39 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 13-16-13-15-13.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
39 starts, 2 wins, average finish 6.8. Last five: 10-7-10-14-5.
16.76
4
Radiator Basement Heat
52 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 15-15-9-13-14.
219.30
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
51 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.7. Last five: 16-2-7-6-12.
66.52
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
49 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 3-5-12-4-4.
15.62
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
52 starts, 15 wins, average finish 4.6. Last five: 10-1-9-4-1.
3.59
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
50 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 16-4-6-9-15.
47.41
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
44 starts, 2 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 15-11-14-15-10.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
47 starts, 11 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 9-6-2-1-7.
6.40
2
Squish The Soft Boys
45 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.4. Last five: 7-16-11-10-13.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
48 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.7. Last five: 16-15-16-16-10.
219.30

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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