Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 4 · Round 23

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
Loading the recording

Bringing up the cameras…

auto
Report

Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Unit finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:00.833 13 +12 50 12.9
2 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:09.158 +8.33 7 +5 35 11.7
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:15.792 +14.96 4 +1 10 10.6
4 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:16.958 +16.13 6 +2 34 11.6
5 The Heel WET The Wet Socks 3:20.475 +19.64 3 -2 10 11.0
6 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:20.608 +19.78 1 -5 8 10.9
Stubbs WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 +2 39 12.4
Old Gristle RUNNING LMP Lump Patrol 12 +4 42 13.2
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -7 13 10.9
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +4 26 13.2
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 0 23 12.9
Lil Nugget WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -2 17 12.6
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +3 17 12.1
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 12 11.9
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -10 12 11.0
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 11 12.2
2.250
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 4-3-5-4-12.
8.233
That has come off.
17.050
That has come off.
23.392
Custard is losing bits.
27.608
They felt that in the back row.
32.067
There goes a piece of Custard.
36.792
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 3-1-3-6-3.
41.083
Radiator is losing bits. Recent finishes: 5-9-6-9-6.
45.333
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 2-11-2-1-2.
46.833
Yolk will not be back.
48.333
That is Old Gristle taking Radiator with them. Recent finishes: 5-9-6-9-6.
49.833
Stubbs has put Refried Ron out.
54.500
Slapper takes the lead.
58.708
That is a long way off the ground.
1:03.217
Custard will not take much more.
1:08.033
Stubbs is losing bits.
1:10.333
Custard will not be back.
1:15.308
Extraordinary scenes.
1:20.050
Look at The Kidney go.
1:24.267
Wide Load is airborne!
1:25.767
Lil Nugget is out.
1:31.100
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:37.550
That is a long way off the ground.
1:39.842
Chunk will not be back.
1:46.958
There is nothing protecting Floppy Joe now.
1:51.242
They will not want to see that again.
1:57.508
Stripped to the shell.
2:04.150
Absolute carnage.
2:10.825
And it all goes wrong.
2:12.683
That is Floppy Joe taking Slapper with them.
2:17.833
That was always going to happen.
2:24.492
That is a long way off the ground.
2:29.817
That was always going to happen.
2:34.417
The Kidney is losing bits.
2:42.258
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
2:44.783
One to go.
2:46.283
Wide Load has put Floppy Joe out.
2:51.217
Stubbs will not take much more.
2:57.833
Wide Load has it.
3:00.525
Old Gristle has stalled.
3:02.025
Wide Load wins the derby.
3:05.858
Stubbs is out.
3:10.317
The Kidney is in trouble.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Chunk 14.692 Chunk 14.692
Smooth Descent Boards Chunk 29.900 Wide Load 13.575
Smooth Descent Boards Slapper 45.592 Slapper 13.617
Smooth Descent Boards Slapper 59.217 Stubbs 12.525
Smooth Descent Boards Slapper 1:15.692 Wide Load 14.341
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:30.158 Wide Load 14.075
Smooth Descent Boards Slapper 1:43.400 Slapper 12.775
Smooth Descent Boards Slapper 1:57.642 Wide Load 13.783
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:15.008 Old Gristle 12.375
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:30.200 Stubbs 13.133
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:44.783 Old Gristle 13.442
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 3:00.833 The Unit 15.450
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 8 2/2 8
2 PCK The Pucks 11 1/2 7
3 NOO The Noodles 15 1/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 16 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 1/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 19 0/2 3
7 LMP Lump Patrol 19 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
80 starts, 4 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 5-15-4-2-6.
7.73
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
74 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 13-12-12-15-8.
163.57
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
62 starts, 6 wins, average finish 5.7. Last five: 4-3-1-2-6.
8.22
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
83 starts, 12 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-4-7-9-1.
2.58
5
Refried Ron The Beans
70 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 13-15-16-14-14.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
74 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.2. Last five: 14-13-13-8-13.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
72 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 11-6-1-15-10.
14.07
4
Radiator Basement Heat
90 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 10-13-15-15-15.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
72 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 3-12-2-3-1.
18.64
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
85 starts, 2 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 9-12-10-2-1.
102.96
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
64 starts, 2 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 9-9-5-15-1.
219.30
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
91 starts, 23 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-8-10-10-8.
5.63
4
Wide Load The Pucks
78 starts, 16 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 7-11-1-11-2.
7.23
8
Slapper The Pucks
69 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.2. Last five: 1-1-12-10-12.
61.56
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
74 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.2. Last five: 14-14-14-15-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
73 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 8-4-11-9-5.
46.21

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

On the record

0 calls

Nobody has committed to anything yet.