Derby · Season 5 · Round 30
The Long Mile — Team Pack Race
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Carnage — Old Gristle survives to win
Old Gristle took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. The Coaster finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.
| # | Competitor | Team | Time | Gap | Grid | +/- | Contacts | Top speed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Old Gristle | Lump Patrol | 3:34.608 | — | 12 | +11 | 27 | 12.4 |
| 2 | The Coaster | The Pucks | 3:36.742 | +2.13 | 14 | +12 | 26 | 12.2 |
| 3 | The Heel | The Wet Socks | 3:41.333 | +6.73 | 4 | +1 | 18 | 10.5 |
| 4 | Thick Rick | The Nuggets | 3:42.217 | +7.61 | 9 | +5 | 36 | 12.0 |
| 5 | Damp Kevin | The Wet Socks | 3:45.700 | +11.09 | 3 | -2 | 22 | 11.2 |
| 6 | Long John | The Noodles | 3:48.742 | +14.13 | 2 | -4 | 14 | 10.7 |
| 7 | The Unit | Basement Heat | 4:01.392 | +26.78 | 8 | +1 | 25 | 10.7 |
| — | Honey Mustard WRECKED | The Nuggets | — | — | 10 | +2 | 34 | 11.6 |
| — | Floppy Joe WRECKED | The Noodles | — | — | 1 | -8 | 13 | 10.3 |
| — | Slapper WRECKED | The Pucks | — | — | 13 | +3 | 25 | 12.1 |
| — | Sweaty Gerald WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 6 | -5 | 16 | 10.3 |
| — | Chunk WRECKED | Lump Patrol | — | — | 11 | -1 | 21 | 11.5 |
| — | Pilot Light WRECKED | Basement Heat | — | — | 7 | -6 | 12 | 10.5 |
| — | Tender Greg WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 16 | +2 | 10 | 11.6 |
| — | Refried Ron WRECKED | The Beans | — | — | 5 | -10 | 14 | 10.9 |
| — | Yolk WRECKED | The Soft Boys | — | — | 15 | -1 | 12 | 11.2 |
3.858
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 2-2-11-2-13.
10.050
Old Gristle is coming through. Recent finishes: 2-2-11-2-13.
15.600
Oh, that is a big one.
20.050
Oh, that is a big one.
24.908
That has come off.
30.050
Sweaty Gerald is going backwards.
36.417
There goes a piece of The Heel. Recent finishes: 5-7-6-6-5.
40.758
That has come off.
45.858
That has come off. Recent finishes: 4-13-7-6-4.
50.300
That has come off.
54.817
That has come off.
58.625
And that is Yolk finished.
1:04.475
There goes a piece of Tender Greg.
1:09.083
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:14.258
Thick Rick leaves something behind.
1:18.850
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 7-8-5-5-16.
1:21.425
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:25.092
Tender Greg is out, and Honey Mustard did it.
1:30.050
You do not see that every day.
1:35.950
Slapper goes to the front.
1:41.683
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:47.367
There is nothing left of it.
1:52.975
Honey Mustard is losing bits.
1:57.158
Pilot Light is out.
2:03.133
That is real damage.
2:07.750
A new leader — Slapper.
2:10.308
Old Gristle has put Slapper out.
2:12.167
And that is Chunk finished.
2:13.667
Sweaty Gerald is out.
2:19.658
They felt that in the back row.
2:24.958
Absolute carnage.
2:30.833
They felt that in the back row.
2:35.583
That has come off.
2:38.333
Honey Mustard is out, and Thick Rick did it.
2:44.925
Floppy Joe will not be back.
2:55.950
Look at the state of it.
3:02.067
That has come off.
3:08.342
The Coaster is in trouble.
3:10.792
Last lap.
3:17.242
Up it goes.
3:31.475
Stripped to the shell.
3:31.608
Old Gristle is coming to the flag.
3:34.608
Old Gristle wins the derby.
3:47.367
The Unit leaves something behind.
| Section | Surface | Leader at exit | Elapsed | Fastest through |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Tender Greg | 22.400 | Tender Greg 22.400 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 45.608 | The Coaster 22.941 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 1:06.133 | Old Gristle 20.525 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 1:32.442 | Slapper 20.175 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Slapper | 1:56.050 | Thick Rick 23.033 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 2:22.867 | Honey Mustard 23.275 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 2:44.333 | Old Gristle 21.466 |
| Smooth Descent | Clay | Old Gristle | 3:10.792 | The Coaster 21.450 |
| # | Team | Score | Finishers | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Wet Socks | 8 | 2/2 | 8 |
| 2 | The Pucks | 12 | 1/2 | 7 |
| 3 | The Nuggets | 12 | 1/2 | 6 |
| 4 | Lump Patrol | 13 | 1/2 | 5 |
| 5 | The Noodles | 15 | 1/2 | 4 |
| 6 | Basement Heat | 20 | 1/2 | 3 |
| 7 | The Beans | 26 | 0/2 | 2 |
| 8 | The Soft Boys | 30 | 0/2 | 1 |
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.
Race card
16 declared9
Pilot Light
Basement Heat
93 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 13-16-15-13-13.
219.30
6
Tender Greg
The Soft Boys
112 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 8-15-11-16-14.
219.30
Course preview
5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent
Smooth
30m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
50m
↓15°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
15m
↓13°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
15m
↑13°
Smooth Descent
Smooth
50m
↓15°
The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.
On the record
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