Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 5 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Damp Kevin survives to win

Damp Kevin took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Wet Socks. Wide Load finished second. 7 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:41.567 4 +3 15 10.5
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:41.850 +0.28 14 +12 32 12.4
3 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:44.425 +2.86 1 -2 19 10.4
4 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:46.108 +4.54 2 -2 17 10.6
5 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:46.300 +4.73 11 +6 39 11.8
6 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:47.708 +6.14 3 -3 24 11.0
7 Lil Nugget NUG The Nuggets 3:50.225 +8.66 10 +3 43 12.1
8 Crawlspace HEA Basement Heat 3:59.358 +17.79 8 0 21 11.1
9 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 4:05.533 +23.97 7 -2 26 10.7
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +6 32 11.6
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -2 37 11.8
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 22 12.5
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +2 11 11.9
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -8 14 10.6
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -10 17 11.0
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -3 18 12.1
3.650
A new leader — Custard. Career record: 3 wins from 161, average finish 5.7.
10.050
Extraordinary scenes.
15.008
Honey Mustard is airborne!
20.050
Extraordinary scenes. Recent finishes: 3-1-3-2-1.
26.058
Extraordinary scenes.
36.275
That is a long way off the ground.
40.808
You do not see that every day. Recent finishes: 15-7-2-4-11.
47.050
That is a long way off the ground.
51.658
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-2-2.
56.650
A new leader — Wide Load.
1:01.300
Gravy takes the lead.
1:05.650
Lil Nugget takes the lead. Career record: 10 wins from 169, average finish 4.7.
1:10.050
Lil Nugget is coming through.
1:15.475
That was always going to happen.
1:19.975
That has come off.
1:24.875
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:30.050
Custard is going backwards.
1:35.792
There goes a piece of Sweaty Gerald.
1:41.533
There is nothing left of it.
1:47.025
The Lieutenant is airborne!
1:51.550
You do not see that every day.
1:57.667
There goes a piece of Lil Nugget.
1:59.917
That is Wide Load taking Puck Yeah with them.
2:04.475
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
2:09.700
Wide Load takes the lead.
2:15.808
There goes a piece of Sweaty Gerald.
2:20.050
Look at The Lieutenant go.
2:24.925
Oh, that is a big one.
2:29.792
You do not see that every day.
2:34.258
Look at the state of it.
2:40.317
You do not see that every day.
2:42.000
And that is Sweaty Gerald finished.
2:46.883
They felt that in the back row.
2:51.508
They felt that in the back row.
2:53.008
Refried Ron is out.
2:54.508
Big Randy has put Yolk out.
2:59.633
Wide Load is airborne!
3:04.625
Up it goes.
3:06.125
And that is Gravy finished.
3:08.442
Honey Mustard is out.
3:15.133
That was always going to happen.
3:16.925
One to go.
3:25.258
Custard is in trouble.
3:30.975
The Lieutenant is airborne!
3:38.567
Damp Kevin has it.
3:38.700
Custard will not be back.
3:40.200
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
3:41.700
Damp Kevin wins the derby.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 22.967 Gravy 22.967
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 47.508 Lil Nugget 22.817
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:12.750 Honey Mustard 22.392
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 1:38.083 Damp Kevin 24.150
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:01.542 Wide Load 22.367
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:26.508 Yolk 22.558
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:50.033 Wide Load 23.308
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:16.925 Damp Kevin 24.250
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 7 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 7 2/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 17 1/2 6
4 HEA Basement Heat 17 2/2 5
5 PCK The Pucks 18 1/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 18 1/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 23 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
110 starts, 6 wins, average finish 6.2. Last five: 5-4-7-3-5.
14.54
7
Long John The Noodles
113 starts, 7 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 1-5-6-11-11.
10.38
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
116 starts, 14 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 2-9-3-3-3.
3.46
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
115 starts, 15 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 4-5-6-4-5.
4.13
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
110 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 13-11-10-8-10.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
109 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 9-13-15-13-13.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
105 starts, 3 wins, average finish 7.3. Last five: 3-7-7-8-8.
34.02
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
106 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 9-7-3-2-9.
62.29
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
108 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 4-8-4-6-8.
50.28
0
Lil Nugget The Nuggets
108 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.7. Last five: 2-5-5-9-12.
36.61
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
103 starts, 25 wins, average finish 4.8. Last five: 4-7-3-1-1.
4.28
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
121 starts, 16 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 14-3-9-14-3.
41.66
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
107 starts, 3 wins, average finish 12.4. Last five: 16-12-15-15-16.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
110 starts, 18 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 15-6-2-2-10.
13.84
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
110 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 16-16-14-13-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
108 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 6-13-3-6-9.
53.78

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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