Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 1

The Saucer — Team Pack Race

Saucer Park · The Saucer · 107 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Stubbs survives to win

Stubbs took The Saucer — Team Pack Race for the The Nuggets. Tube Sock finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:44.367 9 +8 41 11.5
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:44.375 +0.01 4 +2 16 11.0
3 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:46.058 +1.69 12 +9 41 11.6
4 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:49.183 +4.82 14 +10 31 11.5
5 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:52.933 +8.57 11 +6 31 11.4
6 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:55.633 +11.27 10 +4 35 11.6
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 +1 30 10.7
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 3 -5 18 10.9
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -7 13 10.3
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +6 26 11.1
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -10 13 10.4
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -6 22 10.3
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 0 29 12.4
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -9 12 9.9
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 12 11.4
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -9 10 10.1
2.250
Custard takes the lead.
7.492
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
11.750
Old Gristle takes the lead. Career record: 51 wins from 210, average finish 4.1.
18.783
That has come off.
25.275
Custard is losing bits.
29.975
That is a long way off the ground.
34.592
And it all goes wrong.
38.800
Pilot Light leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 6-13-7-5-13.
44.475
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 3-3-1-3-4.
49.267
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
53.633
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up. Recent finishes: 4-2-3-4-2.
59.942
Look at the state of it.
1:04.308
There goes a piece of Custard. Recent finishes: 15-3-2-4-5.
1:09.917
You do not see that every day.
1:14.283
You do not see that every day.
1:19.850
It is coming apart now.
1:21.350
Sweaty Gerald has put Pilot Light out.
1:29.908
Custard is losing bits.
1:34.942
Floppy Joe leaves something behind.
1:37.000
Yolk is out, and Crooked Pete did it.
1:42.175
Refried Ron has nothing left on it.
1:48.650
That has come off.
1:52.892
The Heel is losing bits.
1:59.617
They felt that in the back row.
2:01.308
Honey Mustard has put Refried Ron out.
2:05.933
They felt that in the back row.
2:10.758
Sweaty Gerald is losing bits.
2:15.050
Up it goes.
2:20.942
They felt that in the back row.
2:25.317
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:28.875
The Heel has put Puck Yeah out.
2:33.608
It is coming apart now.
2:38.583
Stubbs is airborne!
2:41.625
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Crawlspace did it.
2:49.633
Floppy Joe is out, and Tube Sock did it.
2:52.000
That is Crawlspace taking Custard with them.
2:58.667
That has come off.
3:00.167
That is The Heel taking Crooked Pete with them.
3:04.633
Up it goes.
3:10.050
Look at The Lieutenant go.
3:14.658
Oh, that is a big one.
3:22.792
There goes a piece of Stubbs.
3:24.292
Last lap.
3:28.717
Stripped to the shell.
3:34.175
Honey Mustard is in trouble.
3:36.392
The Heel is out, and Old Gristle did it.
3:41.367
Stubbs is coming to the flag.
3:41.433
There is nothing protecting Crawlspace now.
3:42.933
Right on the line.
3:44.433
Stubbs wins the derby.
3:51.558
And it all goes wrong.
4:01.683
Crawlspace will not be back.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 14.850 Old Gristle 14.850
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 34.683 Honey Mustard 18.000
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 53.042 Tube Sock 18.175
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 1:10.292 Puck Yeah 15.142
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:30.342 The Lieutenant 15.941
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 1:48.667 Old Gristle 17.659
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 2:05.650 Custard 16.983
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 2:25.050 Stubbs 16.408
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 2:43.500 Old Gristle 16.859
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 3:02.017 Stubbs 17.225
Smooth Descent Clay Stubbs 3:23.392 Honey Mustard 15.025
Smooth Descent Clay Tube Sock 3:44.375 Wide Load 16.783
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 7 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 8 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 10 1/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 17 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 20 0/2 4
6 HEA Basement Heat 23 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 25 0/2 2
8 BEA The Beans 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
146 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 9-11-5-11-8.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
140 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 6-4-7-11-9.
124.12
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
130 starts, 14 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 3-2-6-6-13.
10.75
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
148 starts, 22 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 3-5-5-7-1.
2.90
5
Refried Ron The Beans
152 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.8. Last five: 7-10-15-15-15.
219.30
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
149 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 15-10-5-16-12.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
136 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-15-12-15-15.
219.30
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
140 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 7-13-10-7-5.
88.69
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
149 starts, 10 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 9-7-1-1-10.
23.47
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
152 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 12-1-14-6-1.
30.65
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
145 starts, 31 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 3-3-2-3-12.
4.01
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
156 starts, 36 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 13-5-2-4-2.
9.61
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
147 starts, 4 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 13-13-13-7-15.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
153 starts, 28 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-4-7-2-9.
4.27
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
146 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 11-16-10-16-13.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
144 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 5-11-12-11-11.
83.28

Course preview

4 sections · 107 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Short, banked, clay, and nowhere to hide — twelve laps of the same two corners with the whole field welded to the same line. It is the sport at its most basic and still puts one competitor in the wall most weeks. The grandstand was built on the outside of turn two for the obvious reason: that is where everything ends up, and those seats come with a complimentary poncho. The clay is rolled smooth every morning and looks, for about four minutes, like it might be safe. It is not.

On the record

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