Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 13

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. The Unit finished second. 9 competitors failed to finish. The Wet Socks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:04.700 14 +13 45 12.8
2 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:13.558 +8.86 7 +5 37 11.3
3 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:14.567 +9.87 6 +3 30 11.7
4 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:16.758 +12.06 4 0 13 11.3
5 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:19.725 +15.03 2 -3 12 11.1
6 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:20.292 +15.59 1 -5 11 11.0
7 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:20.992 +16.29 3 -4 11 10.9
Thick Rick WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +2 44 13.1
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +2 26 13.0
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -1 33 11.9
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +2 23 12.5
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 0 13 13.6
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -8 22 11.6
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 18 12.0
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 9 12.4
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 11 11.1
2.200
Squish goes to the front.
6.650
Tender Greg goes to the front.
11.150
They felt that in the back row.
15.983
That has come off.
20.700
Slapper takes the lead. Career record: 97 wins from 212, average finish 3.4.
25.850
There is nothing left of it.
30.050
It is unravelling for Squish.
33.400
Pilot Light is out, and Thick Rick did it.
38.358
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind.
44.433
Gravy is losing bits.
49.950
Tender Greg goes to the front.
51.450
Wrecked, and out of the race.
55.975
Squish is in trouble. Recent finishes: 4-8-4-7-4.
1:00.817
Stripped to the shell. Recent finishes: 2-2-6-2-1.
1:04.792
Squish is out, and The Kidney did it. Recent finishes: 4-8-4-7-4.
1:09.317
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 7-16-7-8-7.
1:12.775
Sweaty Gerald is out, and Wide Load did it.
1:14.333
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:20.050
Look at Wide Load go.
1:24.792
They felt that in the back row.
1:28.267
Slapper will not be back.
1:35.017
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
1:40.167
Up it goes.
1:44.717
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:51.700
That is a long way off the ground.
1:53.525
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:55.025
And that is Honey Mustard finished.
2:05.367
The Kidney is airborne!
2:14.800
That is a long way off the ground.
2:26.042
Oh, that is a big one.
2:33.608
Thick Rick is out.
2:39.942
Wide Load is airborne!
2:47.883
One to go.
2:52.942
The Kidney is airborne!
2:59.833
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:01.700
Here comes Wide Load.
3:04.700
It is Wide Load!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 13.500 Gravy 13.500
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 29.417 Wide Load 14.800
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 44.025 Gravy 14.608
Smooth Descent Boards Gravy 57.958 Slapper 13.625
Smooth Descent Boards Thick Rick 1:17.242 Thick Rick 13.225
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:31.542 Chunk 14.917
Smooth Descent Boards Chunk 1:43.758 Chunk 11.316
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:59.383 Wide Load 12.050
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:15.558 Thick Rick 14.750
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:30.625 Wide Load 15.067
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:47.883 The Kidney 16.033
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 3:04.700 The Unit 15.608
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 WET The Wet Socks 11 2/2 8
2 NOO The Noodles 11 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 12 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 16 1/2 5
5 HEA Basement Heat 18 1/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 18 0/2 3
7 LMP Lump Patrol 21 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
163 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.4. Last five: 7-14-4-5-3.
12.38
1
Big Randy The Noodles
153 starts, 8 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 7-4-7-3-6.
16.34
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
158 starts, 31 wins, average finish 3.8. Last five: 7-8-1-5-7.
3.44
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
153 starts, 22 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 5-3-2-3-2.
3.13
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
154 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 14-9-16-12-12.
219.30
6
The Kidney The Beans
151 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 9-8-16-16-5.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
155 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 12-7-4-12-3.
20.44
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
141 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 13-9-15-15-16.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
157 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 9-14-6-5-6.
111.06
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
149 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 11-12-4-5-14.
49.87
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
133 starts, 3 wins, average finish 10.1. Last five: 5-8-13-2-9.
219.30
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
169 starts, 22 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 10-8-12-11-8.
51.70
8
Slapper The Pucks
148 starts, 14 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 4-11-8-2-9.
103.75
4
Wide Load The Pucks
158 starts, 28 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-6-3-2-4.
3.68
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
158 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 15-16-16-11-16.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
155 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.8. Last five: 13-10-9-10-8.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

On the record

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