Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 39

The Rink — Team Pack Race

The Cold Store · The Rink · 124 m · 16 competitors No grip Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Slapper survives to win

Slapper took The Rink — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Old Gristle finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Slapper PCK The Pucks 2:45.075 14 +13 16 11.6
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 2:56.175 +11.10 12 +10 21 10.8
3 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 2:56.925 +11.85 11 +8 15 11.5
4 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:06.292 +21.22 10 +6 25 11.1
5 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:13.167 +28.09 9 +4 31 10.7
Squish RUNNING SFT The Soft Boys 15 +9 19 10.4
The Heel RUNNING WET The Wet Socks 4 -3 10 9.5
Second Sock RUNNING WET The Wet Socks 3 -5 13 9.2
Sweaty Gerald RUNNING BEA The Beans 5 -4 16 9.6
Big Randy RUNNING NOO The Noodles 2 -8 7 9.3
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -5 15 9.9
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +4 24 10.2
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -12 12 9.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -1 19 10.9
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -8 11 9.6
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 13 9.5
2.950
Custard takes the lead.
7.892
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 1-2-3-2-2.
12.350
A new leader — Slapper. Career record: 105 wins from 228, average finish 3.4.
19.250
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
27.433
There goes a piece of Radiator. Recent finishes: 8-12-5-5-8.
31.842
There goes a piece of Refried Ron.
37.208
Slapper is airborne! Recent finishes: 2-1-14-1-1.
42.317
Sweaty Gerald leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 14-8-8-4-6.
49.325
Puck Yeah leaves something behind.
54.425
There is nothing left of it.
59.767
Slapper is airborne!
1:05.783
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
1:10.050
Honey Mustard is coming through.
1:15.242
Puck Yeah is losing bits.
1:21.425
That is a long way off the ground.
1:26.550
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:31.458
There goes a piece of Custard.
1:36.000
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
1:41.325
And it all goes wrong.
1:46.125
Honey Mustard leaves something behind.
1:50.383
Stripped to the shell.
1:56.400
And it all goes wrong.
2:01.808
Puck Yeah is in trouble.
2:05.825
Radiator is out.
2:08.158
Second Sock has put Puck Yeah out.
2:09.658
That is Refried Ron taking Pilot Light with them.
2:17.400
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:26.292
Stubbs leaves something behind.
2:28.550
This is the last of it.
2:33.883
Custard leaves something behind.
2:40.642
Up it goes.
2:42.075
Slapper is coming to the flag.
2:45.075
It is Slapper!
2:49.875
Absolute carnage.
2:51.375
That is Refried Ron taking Floppy Joe with them.
2:56.500
You do not see that every day.
3:04.242
Custard will not be back.
3:09.242
There goes a piece of Second Sock.
3:12.350
Refried Ron is out, and Old Gristle did it.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Slick The Lieutenant 17.933 The Lieutenant 17.933
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 33.933 Slapper 15.991
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 48.783 Slapper 14.850
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 1:03.442 Slapper 14.659
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 1:21.633 Puck Yeah 16.700
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 1:38.817 Slapper 17.184
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 1:54.708 Slapper 15.891
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 2:12.908 Old Gristle 14.692
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 2:28.550 Slapper 15.642
Smooth Descent Slick Slapper 2:45.075 The Lieutenant 16.000
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 9 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 15 1/2 6
4 WET The Wet Socks 15 0/2 5
5 SFT The Soft Boys 18 0/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 20 0/2 3
7 NOO The Noodles 23 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 31 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
163 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 12-13-13-9-13.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
170 starts, 9 wins, average finish 6.1. Last five: 12-3-8-7-10.
24.80
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
180 starts, 28 wins, average finish 4.0. Last five: 5-5-7-4-4.
4.72
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
149 starts, 16 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 10-7-8-3-14.
19.73
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
166 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 15-12-13-11-12.
219.30
5
Refried Ron The Beans
170 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 16-16-12-13-16.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
151 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 15-14-14-16-15.
219.30
4
Radiator Basement Heat
187 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 15-15-16-16-16.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
172 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 6-3-5-2-4.
12.52
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
165 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 3-2-8-1-14.
16.23
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
167 starts, 36 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-3-1-14-1.
3.39
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
176 starts, 41 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 2-1-14-3-8.
3.10
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
163 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 14-9-15-11-11.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
162 starts, 16 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 1-8-8-13-2.
18.17
2
Squish The Soft Boys
166 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 12-5-11-10-8.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
159 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 4-11-14-6-10.
70.64

Course preview

4 sections · 124 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
18m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
44m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
18m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
44m ↓15°

Polished concrete under a film of water, in a refrigerated warehouse nobody has stored anything in for years — and there is no grip anywhere in it. Nothing accelerates and nothing slows down, so whatever order the field is in at the first corner is roughly the order it keeps, unless somebody arrives sideways, which somebody always does. Whatever you come in with is what you leave with, dented in the same places. The warehouse is still kept refrigerated, for a reason nobody on the staff has ever been able to establish.

On the record

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