Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Thick Rick finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:36.708 12 +11 35 12.2
2 Thick Rick NUG The Nuggets 3:38.042 +1.33 9 +7 34 12.4
3 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:40.000 +3.29 14 +11 25 12.4
4 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:49.042 +12.33 3 -1 23 10.7
5 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:49.533 +12.83 10 +5 40 12.0
6 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:01.708 +25.00 6 0 27 10.7
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -3 20 10.3
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +7 18 11.3
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -2 22 10.6
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -9 12 10.4
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -9 14 10.6
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +1 24 12.2
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 -2 20 12.3
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -9 14 10.7
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -7 12 10.6
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 0 10 11.6
3.992
Up it goes.
10.050
Look at Yolk go.
15.533
Up it goes.
20.050
Look at Puck Yeah go. Recent finishes: 1-1-4-1-11.
25.150
Crooked Pete is losing bits.
30.050
Look at the state of it. Recent finishes: 4-7-3-5-8.
35.650
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 8-4-3-4-12.
39.992
The Lieutenant is airborne!
46.775
Stripped to the shell.
51.792
That is real damage.
58.308
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 5-3-3-2-7.
1:01.358
Yolk is out.
1:05.875
That is a long way off the ground.
1:11.558
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 1-2-1-1-1.
1:17.533
There goes a piece of Gravy.
1:25.000
There goes a piece of Wide Load.
1:29.700
Crawlspace is losing bits.
1:33.967
There is nothing left of it.
1:35.467
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:40.050
Absolute carnage.
1:45.642
Stubbs is losing bits.
1:50.258
That is a long way off the ground.
1:51.758
Refried Ron is out.
1:56.025
The Heel is losing bits.
2:01.033
That is real damage.
2:06.033
That was always going to happen.
2:10.642
It is coming apart now.
2:12.300
Puck Yeah is out.
2:13.925
Gravy is out.
2:18.233
It is coming apart now.
2:19.733
Floppy Joe has put Crooked Pete out.
2:27.908
They will not want to see that again.
2:31.958
Floppy Joe is out, and Second Sock did it.
2:38.458
There is nothing protecting Squish now.
2:47.075
That was always going to happen.
2:51.233
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:57.467
Stripped to the shell.
3:05.975
Squish is out.
3:11.617
One to go.
3:22.783
Up it goes.
3:27.533
Second Sock is losing bits.
3:31.942
That is a long way off the ground.
3:33.708
The Lieutenant has it.
3:34.317
The Heel is out.
3:36.708
It is The Lieutenant!
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 21.450 Yolk 21.450
Smooth Descent Clay Yolk 46.975 Stubbs 21.350
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:10.358 Wide Load 22.116
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:35.133 Thick Rick 21.250
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:57.058 The Lieutenant 20.300
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:22.300 Stubbs 18.575
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:47.633 Thick Rick 21.959
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:11.617 Wide Load 23.050
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 7 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 11 1/2 7
3 LMP Lump Patrol 14 1/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 15 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 20 1/2 4
6 NOO The Noodles 21 0/2 3
7 SFT The Soft Boys 24 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 24 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
164 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 11-12-13-13-9.
219.30
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
156 starts, 4 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 16-14-10-1-7.
219.30
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
181 starts, 29 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 1-5-5-7-4.
2.38
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
150 starts, 16 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 5-10-7-8-3.
15.57
5
Refried Ron The Beans
170 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.9. Last five: 16-16-12-13-16.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
164 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 2-8-12-5-9.
51.01
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
158 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 6-9-9-9-10.
62.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
152 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.6. Last five: 14-15-14-14-16.
219.30
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
162 starts, 5 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 13-12-2-6-9.
23.74
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
166 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 3-3-2-8-1.
13.16
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
180 starts, 22 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 13-13-2-9-5.
44.98
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
167 starts, 36 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-3-1-14-1.
4.98
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
163 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 14-9-15-11-11.
219.30
4
Wide Load The Pucks
177 starts, 32 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-1-7-1-6.
3.71
2
Squish The Soft Boys
167 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 12-12-5-11-10.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
164 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 10-16-15-15-14.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

On the record

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