Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 7 · Round 7

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Honey Mustard finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:25.458 12 +11 31 12.2
2 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:29.733 +4.28 9 +7 49 12.1
3 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:30.042 +4.58 11 +8 34 12.3
4 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:47.075 +21.62 3 -1 63 10.8
5 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:49.600 +24.14 6 +1 60 10.8
6 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:51.183 +25.73 10 +4 47 12.1
Wide Load WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +6 37 12.1
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +6 26 11.5
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -8 29 10.4
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -3 29 10.6
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +5 20 11.5
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 4 -8 21 9.9
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -11 13 10.3
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -9 17 10.4
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 11 11.4
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 11 9.8
1.742
Yolk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 4-5-4-3-6.
6.175
Big Randy leaves something behind.
12.408
Yolk leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 4-5-4-3-6.
18.200
Crawlspace leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 5-8-10-2-6.
22.642
Yolk leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 4-5-4-3-6.
27.125
That was always going to happen.
28.625
Crawlspace has put Pilot Light out. Recent finishes: 16-8-2-15-7.
34.942
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
39.942
Wide Load is airborne!
42.250
That is Custard taking Yolk with them.
47.192
That is a long way off the ground.
51.200
That is The Heel taking Crooked Pete with them.
52.700
Wrecked, and out of the race.
59.733
You do not see that every day.
1:05.017
Up it goes.
1:10.050
Big Randy is coming through.
1:15.158
There goes a piece of Big Randy.
1:16.658
The Heel is out, and Wide Load did it.
1:23.458
That is a long way off the ground.
1:27.667
Up it goes.
1:35.908
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:40.283
Crawlspace is out.
1:45.900
That is Butter Bean taking Big Randy with them.
1:50.183
That is a long way off the ground.
1:54.558
They will not want to see that again.
2:01.258
Look at the state of it.
2:03.383
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:12.275
That has come off.
2:16.533
Wide Load leaves something behind.
2:21.367
Up it goes.
2:26.242
And it all goes wrong.
2:34.167
Wide Load will not be back.
2:43.058
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:55.150
Old Gristle leaves something behind.
3:02.308
Last lap.
3:20.067
Stubbs is airborne!
3:22.458
Here comes The Lieutenant.
3:25.458
The Lieutenant wins the derby.
3:33.850
Stubbs is losing bits.
3:44.542
Up it goes.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 22.050 Old Gristle 22.050
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 43.692 The Lieutenant 21.575
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:06.692 Honey Mustard 21.142
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:29.458 Wide Load 21.809
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:53.667 Stubbs 23.300
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:16.108 Honey Mustard 19.967
Smooth Descent Clay Honey Mustard 2:40.783 Old Gristle 21.534
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:02.308 The Lieutenant 21.058
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:25.458 Stubbs 20.200
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 4 2/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 8 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 15 0/2 6
4 WET The Wet Socks 16 1/2 5
5 BEA The Beans 19 1/2 4
6 NOO The Noodles 22 0/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 26 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 26 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
1
Big Randy The Noodles
152 starts, 8 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 4-7-3-6-15.
32.98
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
140 starts, 3 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 6-4-7-11-9.
176.76
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
156 starts, 31 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 1-5-7-2-1.
2.69
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
130 starts, 14 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 3-2-6-6-13.
26.96
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
149 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.0. Last five: 15-10-5-16-12.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
149 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 7-4-13-8-5.
50.89
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
140 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 7-13-10-7-5.
131.88
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
136 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.5. Last five: 14-15-12-15-15.
219.30
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
152 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.9. Last five: 12-1-14-6-1.
53.80
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
149 starts, 10 wins, average finish 7.7. Last five: 9-7-1-1-10.
22.65
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
156 starts, 36 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 13-5-2-4-2.
7.99
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
145 starts, 31 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 3-3-2-3-12.
5.48
4
Wide Load The Pucks
153 starts, 28 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 2-4-7-2-9.
3.53
8
Slapper The Pucks
144 starts, 14 wins, average finish 8.5. Last five: 9-6-9-12-11.
144.36
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
146 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 11-16-10-16-13.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
144 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 5-11-12-11-11.
162.67

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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