Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 1 · Round 40

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Honey Mustard survives to win

Honey Mustard took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the The Nuggets. Wide Load finished second. 5 competitors failed to finish. The Nuggets took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:36.050 10 +9 42 12.0
2 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:42.017 +5.97 13 +11 33 12.0
3 Custard SFT The Soft Boys 3:44.025 +7.98 16 +13 30 11.5
4 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:44.850 +8.80 11 +7 44 12.4
5 Big Randy NOO The Noodles 3:46.667 +10.62 2 -3 23 11.0
6 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:46.967 +10.92 12 +6 32 12.5
7 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:49.775 +13.73 4 -3 18 10.6
8 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:50.650 +14.60 3 -5 18 10.6
9 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:50.917 +14.87 9 0 38 11.7
10 The Kidney BEA The Beans 3:57.592 +21.54 6 -4 26 11.0
11 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:57.692 +21.64 5 -6 30 11.0
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -11 12 10.8
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -6 13 10.6
Pilot Light WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 11 10.3
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 -1 15 12.1
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 10.8
3.092
Wide Load is airborne!
7.700
Up it goes.
12.533
Look at the state of it.
18.167
There is nothing left of it. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-12.
23.492
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 3-3-6-4-4.
28.000
A new leader — Old Gristle.
33.233
Radiator leaves something behind.
38.533
They will not want to see that again. Recent finishes: 7-7-7-6-10.
44.000
Old Gristle takes the lead. Career record: 10 wins from 49, average finish 3.9.
45.500
Tender Greg is out, and Butter Bean did it. Recent finishes: 3-3-6-4-4.
50.050
Look at Stubbs go.
55.833
Up it goes.
1:00.050
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
1:04.350
Radiator leaves something behind.
1:09.742
That is a long way off the ground.
1:14.417
There is nothing left of it.
1:18.817
There is nothing left of it.
1:22.408
Puck Yeah will not be back.
1:28.417
Big Randy leaves something behind.
1:32.625
There goes a piece of The Kidney.
1:34.317
Pilot Light is out.
1:39.458
They will not want to see that again.
1:43.808
Up it goes.
1:52.342
Honey Mustard is airborne!
1:56.600
There is nothing protecting Radiator now.
2:03.533
That has come off.
2:07.742
That is a long way off the ground.
2:10.858
Butter Bean has put Radiator out.
2:19.175
Absolute carnage.
2:27.825
And it all goes wrong.
2:35.050
That is Second Sock taking Floppy Joe with them.
2:40.850
They will not want to see that again.
2:47.958
They felt that in the back row.
2:54.708
And it all goes wrong.
2:59.450
That was always going to happen.
3:08.667
They felt that in the back row.
3:12.933
One to go.
3:17.600
The Kidney is losing bits.
3:23.067
Up it goes.
3:27.708
That is a long way off the ground.
3:33.050
Here comes Honey Mustard.
3:34.083
That has come off.
3:36.050
Honey Mustard takes it!
3:45.675
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Custard 23.000 Custard 23.000
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 46.542 Old Gristle 23.059
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:08.575 Custard 21.791
Smooth Descent Clay Old Gristle 1:35.058 Wide Load 21.400
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 1:58.775 Honey Mustard 20.333
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:20.983 Wide Load 22.208
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:46.083 Honey Mustard 23.866
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:12.933 Honey Mustard 24.142
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 NUG The Nuggets 10 2/2 8
2 LMP Lump Patrol 10 2/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 15 2/2 6
4 PCK The Pucks 17 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 19 1/2 3
7 BEA The Beans 21 2/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
9 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 7-9-11-3-3.
81.47
1
Big Randy The Noodles
20 starts, 0 wins, average finish 6.3. Last five: 4-11-2-6-15.
19.66
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
21 starts, 5 wins, average finish 3.3. Last five: 1-3-4-3-2.
2.34
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
13 starts, 0 wins, average finish 5.2. Last five: 5-4-4-2-4.
6.48
22
Butter Bean The Beans
17 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 8-11-5-15-3.
62.72
6
The Kidney The Beans
14 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.5. Last five: 3-7-11-6-8.
124.89
4
Radiator Basement Heat
17 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.2. Last five: 15-15-15-16-11.
219.30
9
Pilot Light Basement Heat
15 starts, 0 wins, average finish 12.6. Last five: 12-13-13-15-12.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
16 starts, 2 wins, average finish 7.1. Last five: 6-1-2-3-10.
20.72
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
14 starts, 0 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 7-3-14-14-8.
60.85
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
21 starts, 5 wins, average finish 4.9. Last five: 15-2-1-7-1.
6.27
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
16 starts, 4 wins, average finish 4.4. Last five: 3-10-1-8-2.
5.35
4
Wide Load The Pucks
15 starts, 4 wins, average finish 6.6. Last five: 16-7-5-1-11.
30.48
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
12 starts, 2 wins, average finish 11.3. Last five: 11-14-1-7-14.
219.30
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
15 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.3. Last five: 15-10-16-16-16.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
13 starts, 1 win, average finish 7.2. Last five: 13-10-4-9-3.
46.38

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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