Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 17

Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race

Washboard Yard · Washboard Ring · 135 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took Washboard Ring — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Tube Sock finished second. 11 competitors failed to finish. The Pucks took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 3:34.117 14 +13 51 12.7
2 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:43.617 +9.50 4 +2 50 10.8
3 Long John NOO The Noodles 3:43.875 +9.76 1 -2 48 10.5
4 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:45.967 +11.85 9 +5 54 11.8
5 The Unit HEA Basement Heat 3:56.575 +22.46 7 +2 78 10.5
Butter Bean RUNNING BEA The Beans 5 -1 57 10.7
Gravy WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 12 +5 25 11.5
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 +5 30 11.3
Custard WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +7 24 11.1
Chunk WRECKED LMP Lump Patrol 11 +1 24 11.7
Honey Mustard WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 -1 30 11.2
Squish WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 +3 15 11.1
The Kidney WRECKED BEA The Beans 6 -7 19 10.0
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -12 13 10.8
The Heel WRECKED WET The Wet Socks 3 -12 16 10.3
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 12 9.5
1.842
That has come off. Recent finishes: 8-16-5-14-8.
6.083
Up it goes. Recent finishes: 2-6-1-2-16.
10.842
Absolute carnage.
15.825
Chunk is losing bits.
20.050
Look at Chunk go. Recent finishes: 2-1-2-1-2.
24.333
That was always going to happen. Recent finishes: 4-2-2-4-8.
28.808
It is coming apart now.
31.508
Radiator will not be back. Recent finishes: 5-14-3-11-7.
36.117
And it all goes wrong.
40.350
Gravy goes to the front.
45.542
You do not see that every day.
49.800
And it all goes wrong.
51.300
Tube Sock has put The Heel out.
52.800
That is Long John taking Floppy Joe with them.
55.025
That is Long John taking The Kidney with them.
1:00.050
Chunk is losing places.
1:05.567
Up it goes.
1:10.050
And it all goes wrong.
1:15.175
It is coming apart now.
1:16.675
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:21.133
That has come off.
1:25.483
That is a long way off the ground.
1:29.767
Chunk will not be back.
1:31.833
And that is Honey Mustard finished.
1:36.833
And it all goes wrong.
1:40.833
Custard is out.
1:46.542
There is nothing protecting Slapper now.
1:55.008
Slapper is out, and Wide Load did it.
2:04.658
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
2:10.683
Somebody is going to have to sweep that up.
2:15.800
There is nothing left of it.
2:17.300
Gravy is out.
2:27.942
That is a long way off the ground.
2:35.300
Stubbs is airborne!
2:41.675
There is nothing left of it.
2:50.917
Extraordinary scenes.
3:04.900
There goes a piece of The Unit.
3:08.300
This is the last of it.
3:22.358
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:31.117
Here comes Wide Load.
3:33.725
Wide Load leaves something behind.
3:35.225
Wide Load takes it!
3:44.367
You do not see that every day.
3:56.300
They will not want to see that again.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 23.817 Wide Load 23.817
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 45.733 Gravy 21.041
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:08.267 Gravy 22.534
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:30.675 Stubbs 22.067
Smooth Descent Clay Gravy 1:55.192 Wide Load 23.150
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:22.083 Wide Load 23.725
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 2:41.925 Wide Load 19.842
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:08.300 Long John 24.367
Smooth Descent Clay Wide Load 3:34.117 Long John 23.350
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 PCK The Pucks 9 1/2 8
2 NUG The Nuggets 15 1/2 7
3 WET The Wet Socks 17 1/2 6
4 NOO The Noodles 17 1/2 5
5 LMP Lump Patrol 17 0/2 4
6 BEA The Beans 19 0/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 21 1/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 21 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
7
Long John The Noodles
190 starts, 8 wins, average finish 5.5. Last five: 10-4-7-4-7.
8.67
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
177 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 4-7-15-7-11.
211.29
9
The Heel The Wet Socks
158 starts, 17 wins, average finish 5.6. Last five: 8-10-5-2-7.
23.17
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
183 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 13-2-3-2-5.
4.14
22
Butter Bean The Beans
175 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 3-7-12-13-3.
29.69
6
The Kidney The Beans
178 starts, 0 wins, average finish 9.9. Last five: 11-13-10-13-8.
219.30
1
The Unit Basement Heat
180 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.5. Last five: 14-9-4-7-2.
25.75
4
Radiator Basement Heat
198 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 13-13-14-14-14.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
179 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 10-5-7-3-7.
22.63
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
182 starts, 7 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 8-12-7-7-5.
43.48
5
Chunk Lump Patrol
152 starts, 4 wins, average finish 10.0. Last five: 12-8-14-4-10.
219.30
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
191 starts, 23 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 12-5-1-12-4.
28.39
8
Slapper The Pucks
172 starts, 18 wins, average finish 8.3. Last five: 12-9-9-11-9.
72.95
4
Wide Load The Pucks
190 starts, 35 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 1-2-6-1-1.
1.90
2
Squish The Soft Boys
180 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 11-14-15-9-9.
219.30
21
Custard The Soft Boys
172 starts, 4 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 7-7-11-3-5.
82.34

Course preview

6 sections · 135 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
14m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
8m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
38m ↓15°

Fourteen metres of corrugated deck plate laid across the main straight, crossed nine times a race. Nobody is ever taken out by it and nobody ever finishes intact — it does not wreck you, it disassembles you, one rivet at a time, and hands the pieces back at the flag. By the last lap the difference between a finisher and a heap of parts is simply who crossed it more cleanly. The stand sells earplugs at the gate; the noise is not a side effect, it is the attraction.

On the record

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