Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 30

The Long Mile — Team Pack Race

Long Mile Basin · The Long Mile · 161 m · 16 competitors Uphill section Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — The Lieutenant survives to win

The Lieutenant took The Long Mile — Team Pack Race for the Lump Patrol. Old Gristle finished second. 8 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 The Lieutenant LMP Lump Patrol 3:38.358 11 +10 41 11.9
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:43.683 +5.33 12 +10 34 12.3
3 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.250 +7.89 4 +1 20 10.6
4 Stubbs NUG The Nuggets 3:46.717 +8.36 9 +5 32 12.3
5 Second Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:46.808 +8.45 3 -2 18 10.7
6 Honey Mustard NUG The Nuggets 3:47.575 +9.22 10 +4 39 11.9
7 Squish SFT The Soft Boys 3:51.408 +13.05 16 +9 23 11.8
8 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 4:04.425 +26.07 6 -2 26 10.9
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +5 40 13.5
Big Randy WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -8 19 10.8
Sweaty Gerald WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -6 22 10.5
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -11 13 10.6
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -6 20 10.5
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -6 12 10.4
Puck Yeah WRECKED PCK The Pucks 13 -2 16 12.6
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 -1 12 11.6
3.400
A new leader — Squish.
9.000
Up it goes.
13.308
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe. Recent finishes: 8-7-11-8-4.
17.733
They felt that in the back row.
24.100
The Lieutenant takes the lead.
29.875
Up it goes.
35.600
Yolk leaves something behind.
39.925
They felt that in the back row. Recent finishes: 7-13-6-7-5.
45.192
Up it goes.
50.050
Look at the state of it.
56.800
The Lieutenant goes to the front. Career record: 65 wins from 252, average finish 3.7.
1:01.025
Extraordinary scenes.
1:06.183
That is a long way off the ground. Recent finishes: 3-3-3-8-5.
1:10.517
Puck Yeah leaves something behind. Recent finishes: 1-1-1-1-1.
1:16.025
There goes a piece of Yolk.
1:20.575
There is nothing protecting Yolk now.
1:26.325
Up it goes.
1:30.058
Yolk is out, and Tube Sock did it.
1:34.367
Radiator is in trouble.
1:38.717
That was always going to happen.
1:44.450
There goes a piece of Floppy Joe.
1:45.950
Puck Yeah is out, and The Lieutenant did it.
1:52.650
The Lieutenant goes to the front.
1:56.933
There is nothing left of it.
1:59.817
Radiator is out.
2:01.400
Crawlspace is out, and Butter Bean did it.
2:07.917
There goes a piece of Big Randy.
2:12.483
The Lieutenant is airborne!
2:19.108
There is nothing left of it.
2:24.742
Big Randy is airborne!
2:29.942
Stripped to the shell.
2:35.250
It is coming apart now.
2:39.500
There goes a piece of Honey Mustard.
2:45.767
You do not see that every day.
2:49.292
Floppy Joe is out.
2:54.983
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
3:01.342
Absolute carnage.
3:06.758
Up it goes.
3:10.892
Big Randy is out, and Old Gristle did it.
3:13.450
One to go.
3:21.350
That is Butter Bean taking Sweaty Gerald with them.
3:27.292
Up it goes.
3:30.308
And that is Slapper finished.
3:35.358
The Lieutenant is coming to the flag.
3:38.358
It is The Lieutenant!
3:44.825
That is a long way off the ground.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 24.142 The Lieutenant 24.142
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 49.467 Puck Yeah 22.075
Smooth Descent Clay Puck Yeah 1:11.383 Puck Yeah 21.750
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 1:40.050 Squish 25.167
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:05.083 Old Gristle 23.166
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:24.742 The Lieutenant 19.659
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 2:47.600 Old Gristle 20.841
Smooth Descent Clay The Lieutenant 3:13.450 Honey Mustard 22.491
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 3 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 8 2/2 7
3 NUG The Nuggets 10 2/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 19 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 22 0/2 4
6 SFT The Soft Boys 23 1/2 3
7 PCK The Pucks 24 0/2 2
8 HEA Basement Heat 27 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
181 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 13-11-14-6-4.
219.30
1
Big Randy The Noodles
185 starts, 10 wins, average finish 6.0. Last five: 1-9-3-5-3.
11.86
2
Second Sock The Wet Socks
201 starts, 32 wins, average finish 3.9. Last five: 2-6-1-4-4.
2.89
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
188 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 8-5-2-9-2.
7.06
8
Sweaty Gerald The Beans
181 starts, 0 wins, average finish 11.1. Last five: 16-11-4-10-15.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
181 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 7-8-10-6-8.
80.35
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
174 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 3-9-7-9-11.
75.56
4
Radiator Basement Heat
207 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 15-15-7-16-15.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
185 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 6-7-4-3-4.
21.51
2
Honey Mustard The Nuggets
190 starts, 8 wins, average finish 7.8. Last five: 8-6-11-10-8.
54.26
10
The Lieutenant Lump Patrol
180 starts, 38 wins, average finish 5.1. Last five: 3-6-1-10-5.
8.75
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
201 starts, 49 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-3-2-11-1.
2.82
69
Puck Yeah The Pucks
181 starts, 5 wins, average finish 12.3. Last five: 16-14-14-11-16.
219.30
8
Slapper The Pucks
180 starts, 18 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 12-14-14-8-5.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
182 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 13-14-14-16-15.
219.30
2
Squish The Soft Boys
186 starts, 0 wins, average finish 10.7. Last five: 15-12-6-7-6.
219.30

Course preview

5 sections · 161 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
30m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↓13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
15m ↑13°
Smooth Descent Smooth
50m ↓15°

The endurance one, cut into the floor of an old quarry — the biggest lap on the calendar, with a real hill in the back straight that has to be climbed nine times. This is attrition rather than carnage: a Chunkle that has shed half its rind has also shed the momentum to get up the hill, and simply stops being a competitor somewhere on the slope. Races here are won by the patient and finished by almost nobody. The quarry has, everyone agrees, excellent natural acoustics for the sound of something giving up.

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