Paper Mogul Sports
Derby · Season 8 · Round 33

The Wall — Team Pack Race

The Board Track · The Wall · 101 m · 16 competitors Steep banking
FULL TIME Fairness
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Carnage — Wide Load survives to win

Wide Load took The Wall — Team Pack Race for the The Pucks. Old Gristle finished second. 10 competitors failed to finish. Lump Patrol took the team honours.

#CompetitorTeamTimeGap Grid+/-ContactsTop speed
1 Wide Load PCK The Pucks 2:54.042 13 +12 40 12.1
2 Old Gristle LMP Lump Patrol 3:07.742 +13.70 11 +9 37 12.8
3 Gravy LMP Lump Patrol 3:14.325 +20.28 12 +9 43 12.0
4 Butter Bean BEA The Beans 3:14.975 +20.93 6 +2 37 11.9
5 Tube Sock WET The Wet Socks 3:15.317 +21.28 4 -1 10 11.0
6 Damp Kevin WET The Wet Socks 3:19.633 +25.59 3 -3 9 11.3
Floppy Joe WRECKED NOO The Noodles 1 -6 13 11.0
Thick Rick WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 10 +2 52 12.8
Crooked Pete WRECKED NOO The Noodles 2 -7 13 10.7
Crawlspace WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 7 -3 27 11.6
Slapper WRECKED PCK The Pucks 14 +3 27 12.9
Refried Ron WRECKED BEA The Beans 5 -7 14 11.3
Stubbs WRECKED NUG The Nuggets 9 -4 32 12.2
Yolk WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 16 +2 12 12.0
Tender Greg WRECKED SFT The Soft Boys 15 0 11 11.6
Radiator WRECKED HEA Basement Heat 8 -8 13 11.4
1.950
Yolk is losing bits. Recent finishes: 8-4-3-4-1.
6.883
Crawlspace leaves something behind.
14.642
There goes a piece of Gravy.
20.050
Look at Old Gristle go.
24.492
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Recent finishes: 6-12-5-15-5.
30.050
Stubbs is coming through.
34.575
Crooked Pete is losing bits. Recent finishes: 7-9-8-10-7.
38.983
They felt that in the back row.
43.392
That has come off.
47.392
Radiator is out, and Stubbs did it. Recent finishes: 6-8-8-5-4.
49.217
And that is Tender Greg finished. Recent finishes: 8-4-8-4-4.
54.167
Up it goes.
58.408
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:02.967
Old Gristle is airborne!
1:09.583
Stripped to the shell.
1:15.375
Stubbs is airborne!
1:20.050
Refried Ron is going backwards.
1:24.450
Stubbs leaves something behind.
1:28.700
Wide Load is airborne!
1:33.158
They will not want to see that again.
1:35.308
Wrecked, and out of the race.
1:40.842
They will not want to see that again.
1:45.117
Look at the state of it.
1:48.283
Refried Ron is out, and Butter Bean did it.
1:52.617
That is a long way off the ground.
2:02.342
That was always going to happen.
2:03.842
And that is Slapper finished.
2:13.667
Crawlspace will not be back.
2:17.958
Gravy is airborne!
2:21.833
Wrecked, and out of the race.
2:29.275
Oh, that is a big one.
2:34.642
Thick Rick is losing bits.
2:37.542
One to go.
2:41.917
Up it goes.
2:51.042
Wide Load is coming to the flag.
2:51.292
There is nothing protecting Thick Rick now.
2:54.042
Wide Load wins the derby.
3:00.075
That is a long way off the ground.
3:01.575
That is Wide Load taking Thick Rick with them.
3:12.875
And that is Floppy Joe finished.
SectionSurfaceLeader at exitElapsedFastest through
Smooth Descent Boards Tender Greg 14.433 Tender Greg 14.433
Smooth Descent Boards Tender Greg 30.717 Old Gristle 15.000
Smooth Descent Boards Old Gristle 45.592 Thick Rick 13.816
Smooth Descent Boards Old Gristle 1:01.642 Refried Ron 14.500
Smooth Descent Boards Old Gristle 1:16.208 Slapper 13.442
Smooth Descent Boards Old Gristle 1:31.633 Slapper 14.275
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:35.392 Wide Load 0.184
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 1:50.383 Butter Bean 14.517
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:06.025 Wide Load 15.642
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:21.858 Wide Load 15.833
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:37.542 Old Gristle 15.608
Smooth Descent Boards Wide Load 2:54.042 Old Gristle 14.934
#TeamScoreFinishersPoints
1 LMP Lump Patrol 5 2/2 8
2 WET The Wet Socks 11 2/2 7
3 PCK The Pucks 12 1/2 6
4 BEA The Beans 16 1/2 5
5 NOO The Noodles 16 0/2 4
6 NUG The Nuggets 21 0/2 3
7 HEA Basement Heat 26 0/2 2
8 SFT The Soft Boys 29 0/2 1
Pack races score the sum of a team's best three finishing positions. Lower is better.

Race card

16 declared
12
Floppy Joe The Noodles
183 starts, 5 wins, average finish 8.9. Last five: 4-10-13-11-14.
147.41
3
Crooked Pete The Noodles
175 starts, 6 wins, average finish 8.8. Last five: 3-7-4-10-12.
50.67
4
Damp Kevin The Wet Socks
186 starts, 36 wins, average finish 3.7. Last five: 4-2-6-3-3.
2.98
11
Tube Sock The Wet Socks
189 starts, 24 wins, average finish 4.3. Last five: 2-8-5-2-9.
5.16
5
Refried Ron The Beans
196 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.0. Last five: 15-16-15-16-13.
219.30
22
Butter Bean The Beans
182 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.8. Last five: 3-7-8-10-6.
32.92
13
Crawlspace Basement Heat
176 starts, 1 win, average finish 8.4. Last five: 8-11-3-9-7.
71.47
4
Radiator Basement Heat
209 starts, 0 wins, average finish 13.1. Last five: 12-15-15-15-7.
219.30
7
Stubbs The Nuggets
187 starts, 13 wins, average finish 7.6. Last five: 14-8-6-7-4.
48.41
33
Thick Rick The Nuggets
181 starts, 6 wins, average finish 7.4. Last five: 6-12-4-12-5.
43.33
44
Old Gristle Lump Patrol
201 starts, 49 wins, average finish 5.0. Last five: 1-3-2-11-1.
3.11
17
Gravy Lump Patrol
202 starts, 24 wins, average finish 7.2. Last five: 3-9-16-10-8.
77.38
4
Wide Load The Pucks
199 starts, 36 wins, average finish 5.3. Last five: 9-2-2-9-4.
6.44
8
Slapper The Pucks
182 starts, 19 wins, average finish 8.4. Last five: 1-11-12-14-14.
168.27
6
Tender Greg The Soft Boys
193 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.6. Last five: 14-13-15-10-15.
219.30
0
Yolk The Soft Boys
183 starts, 0 wins, average finish 14.1. Last five: 16-13-14-14-16.
219.30

Course preview

4 sections · 101 m
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
16m ↓15°
Smooth Descent Smooth
35m ↓15°

A velodrome that took a wrong turn somewhere and never came back. Twenty-six degrees of varnished pine holds the entire field at exactly the same radius whether anybody likes it or not, so the only way past a rival is straight through them. Nothing here chooses its own line; the banking chooses it, and the banking has no favourites and takes no notes. The boards were reclaimed from a real velodrome in 1991 and still carry the original lap markings under the tyre rubber, which no competitor has ever had a spare moment to read.

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